659) No Hard Feelings - Eps. 1 - Friendship Part I !

Here we are ... I am starting and have no idea when this series will end, coz till now I have had the plot of 12 episodes in mind, and still more questions coming !! But as I said, I do take it seriously and I hope I can contribute in clearing part of the misunderstanding, but not all of it, coz I think part of the beauty of our relations is these differences and misunderstandings ;)

Friendship .. Why & When?
I will start with the most nagging question, actually the one I have -and still facing- its hell. Is there real friendship between men and women... can men and women just be friends without any hidden agendas? can this friendship last or is it a stage in life....?!!

Actually although the above questions are simple and straight to the point, the answer is VERY complicated...and subjective as well.

Let's start from the beginning of any 2 people knowing each other, what makes them friends?
hmmm. Usually -in my opinion supported by experts opinions- men have this inner classification system where consciously or unconsciously then classify women into:
1) Potential Lover (love, girlfriend, wife...etc)
2) Wanna Sleep with (sex friend, slut,...etc)
3) Secrets Keeper and Eye Opener (real friend, mutual benefit, his guide in other sex's world)
4) Red Lighter (don’t even think, trouble becomes her!)
5) and good to know, without real knowledge of how to be classified now (postponed)

So it all depends on how she is classified from the beginning.
1) Potential Lover: Friendship is a stage to get closer, it either leads to more intimate relation or getting her out of his life. It is very hard to continue as friends here as he will always give you signs of wanting more than being your friend, and it is hard to take it back.
2) Wanna Sleep with :) when I was studying in Los Angeles in the 90s, they used call it "Friends with Benefits" so it is friends afterall .. heheh. I don't think I need to elaborate here, signs are usually blunt from both sides, wala eih ;)
3) Secrets Keeper and Eye Opener: This is the real friendship.. Usually the girl here doesn’t fit the criteria of 1 & 2, and has good mind too, so there is real interest of pure friendship.. however, if this friendship turned out to be love someday, it becomes a very good one coz -in my opinion- love based on friendship is much more durable than love based on feelings only. So signs here are genunie and cant be confused, even if it turned out to be something more, you will be in a stage that you do understand each other without even talking.
4) Red Lighter: He is afraid of getting near hear for one reason or another, so all the signs here will be signs of rejection or over respect, he will be sure not to give any mixed signs. Howa mesh 2adik ;)
5) The good to know has a big share of the mixed feelings, and actually this is the category where the guy himself is confused and can't afford but to give mixed signs, ... it may drive the girl nuts begad!

So what I wanna say is, in order to understand the bigger picture and be able to deal with the signs, you need to figure out how does he think/categorize.. but since this topic is really wide, I will dedicate the next episode for it as well (how to deal the mixed signals), but let's stop here and have some discussion about these stages before going into the 2nd part of "Friendship".

Mohaly

658) FUN ::: 7abbak Bors !

Before we say goodbye to the Valentine's Week, I want to share this with you:

His Banner: Mai, Forgive me please. I sware to God that I love you.

Her Banner: 7abbak Bors !!

Comments please ..

(ya ret law feh explanation kaman in the comments)

Mohaly

657) The Vision - Episode 5 - Life & Living !

You have mentionedwho you are, your mission, what is your uniqueness, and what difference you can make in this world...

Now look back at your life in order to know how did you spend it...

Ask yourself:

What does Life and Living mean to you

Is it the breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping, sex,..etc, or is it something else? or...?

Think about it and share with us..

Mohaly

656) No Hard Feelings - Series Intro !

It is the Valentine's Week again ... last year I have dedicated a whole week of posts for it, and some of you have written about this coverage in their blogs and online magazines.

This year, allow me to interrupt "The Vision" series with a new series that will go in parallel: "No Hard Feelings". This series is mainly dedicated for the signs that men give women and how to understand it right, the problems that arise from mis-understanding, and false assumptions made by women in reading men... I think that the best time to launch the series is while people celebrating the Love festival; the Valentine's ;)

Women -in general- have their own dictionary about men; unfortunately, this dictionary is always written and developed by women. In order to understand a man, you need to know it from a man not a woman, no matter how much this woman know men. You can consider this series -along with "What Men Want" that I have written in Summer 2008- a quick key to better understanding of men.

Men and Women do a big mistake by insisting on evaluating and interrupting each others actions and words with their own perceptions. This ends up in positioning the relation between them as a racing competition rather than an integration. Such noise created by the competition blocks their vision, and make them fail to realize that in a competition there should be a winner and a loser. However, men and women relations can't afford a loser; and hence, both of them will lose on the long term. We can't just keep competing, WE WILL BOTH LOSE.

So before going into this series' episodes, I want you to list what are the stuff that you need me to cover in this series; hence, I can take it into consideration in the rest of episodes. This is not for female audience only, I need men to tell me as well what they want to make it more clear to women to have better understanding and relations..

P.S. This may open the floor for quarrles, so please accept each other's opinions.

... For all the single ladies reading or following my blog ... Happy Valentine's!

xoxoxo ;)

Mohaly

655) The Vision - Episode 4; the Difference !

You know now what you are unique at ...

Now the questions are getting harder ... Take a deep breath, and get it out slowly ... Think with a clear mind: What difference can I make in this world? and let's us know here, we may be able to help...

Tip: You can make a positive difference, a negative difference, or no difference (in this case u r not living).. In order to make such difference, you need to make use of the unique stuff you have in reaching your goals first... then, and only then you can make a real difference..

Mohaly

654) Anti-Smoking Day!

Celebrating the International Anti-Smoking day today by a shocking photo ....

The attitudes of some people with children -even if it was just for fun- has gone far beyond acceptable limits .. If this is not child abuse then I don't know what it is!!

Mohaly

P.S. For all smokers, Who is the boss? You, or the Cig. ?

653) The Vision - Episode 3; Uniqueness!

After answering who you are, you need to know what are you unique at. You can't say nothing, No one is created without a certain talent, skill, ..etc. The smart ones are those who can make use of these skills and turn it into an edge that helps them to be Unique.

So, stand up again, and think ... what can be your edge? and write it here.

Mohaly

652) We Said, We Did, We Deserved !

We said ..

We did ...

We delivered ..

We deserved ..

I wish I can live and see the day Egypt will be doing that in everything not only football.

Mohaly

651) Personal ::: Would You Marry Me?!

Would you Marry Me?
A hard question and harder answer. Someone who decided to share the rest of his life with someone is asking this "someone" to do the same and reach the same decision.
Would you Marry Me?
You may live and die without saying it, or making it come true.
Would you Marry Me?
"2en 2olt matkhafsh, we 2en khoft mat2olsh". If you are afraid, don't say it, and if you said it, don't be afraid.
Would you Marry Me?
Usually the guy say it, but sometimes the woman has enough guts to do it.

Would you Marry Me?

Age: A guy in his mid 30s.

Education: Good education, post graduate degrees.

Job/Reputation: Has a reputable job and positioning in the society, perceived as an intellectual between his peers and friends. Has no enemies (but himself sometimes).

Personality: Very practical yet dreamer, decisive (stubborn?) yet a listener. Into home, family, and kids (adores kids), and doesn't socialize a lot (not outgoing). Not Typical in his thoughts or actions, a mix between western thinking and eastern feelings.

Location: Travels a lot in and outside Egypt. Doesn't believe in leaving Egypt, yet planning not to live in Cairo on the long term (by the Sea).

Class: Socioculturally Upper Class, Financially Upper Middle (Mastoura wal Hamdullah), Reputable Family.

Religion: Muslim, loves his religion but respects all other relegions as well ... moderate approach of islam focusing on morals, helping others, and doing essential duties.

Political View: Moderate, more into liberal. Not member of any party, yet taking part in public work on the social front.

Official Relations: Read Fatha once (semi-Engaged), wasn't married before.

Positives: Very sincere when he loves, punctual, respects himself and others, assertive, and kind.

Negatives: Sometimes stubborn (extremely stubborn when it has to do with time), not easy on himself and sometimes others (perfectionist), all ambitions have to do with his mission and family and not money, get bored easily (high maintenance), and burdened by bigger issues. Not a simple or easy character by all means, and Freedom of thought and action is his main value that he can't afford to lose even if married to ten!

so...

Would you Marry me?

(no specific person in mind)

Mohaly

P.S> This is the first post I am writing after the mild concussion I had from last week's car accident. Do you think that it has any effect on me?!!

650) Personal ::: "Being Myself" on my Birthday!!

Today is my Birthday, I am officially in my mid 30s; i.e. Biologically have lived half my life (wel 2a3mar beyad Allah). It's a scary feeling. When I look back and see what I have did, missed, and achieved, I can say that I'm satisfied with the whole experience, but I gotta put more effort to build on what I have done, & try to catch up with what I missed.

The most important thing that in all these years (since mid 70s), I have succeeded in being sincere in all my feelings & actions whether personally or professionally. My biggest achievement is that I don't hate, envy, or wish any harm to anyone, and I hope that it is vice versa. If anyone reading this post, and has anything against me, please let me know, and I am apologizing in advance.

I launched this blog in Feb 2007 so there were 2 documented birthdays in 2008, 2009, let's see my wishes and how realistic they were.

Birthday Wishes 2008

On my birthday, I am asking God to keep my friends & family safe, happy, and successful, and close to each other.
Mohaly

That is an ongoing wish... I guess that is going in the right direction so far.

Birthday Wishes 2009

I wish that this year I can make the right balance between spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional targets, it is about time, and to be able to make more positive difference with more number of people.

Big Fat Zero in 2009, I just made it worse (mental 90%, and the rest 10%), but thank God by the end of 09 and start of 2010, I woke up and working hard to make this happen, and I am feeling much better...so this has to be accomplished in 2010 by hook or crook.

I wish that Egypt will at least stop and realize that we were going backwards, and start PLANNING for the future even if it is late.

No comment (seems that I was stoned when I wrote that)!

I wish that my friends and this blog readers still like and support me as they have always done, and I wish someday I make them proud of this friendship..

I can't answer that, but I always felt your love and support although the majority of this blog readers and followers have never met or talked to me in person....and I do honestly love u all, u r my virtual family who help me in overcoming my chronic loneliness :)

Mohaly

So my wish in the year 35 is to succeed in "Being Myself".... It is a milestone year, and I gotta make the best out of it In-Shaa-Allah.

Mohaly

born on 27 Jan @12pm

P.S. A Tribute to the soul of Mama Didi, my first birthday without her.. and to the love of my life Tooty, my first birthday in her life.

649) The Vision - Episode 2 - Who am I ?!

In post 647 I asked some questions about vision, and I am happy with the answers I got. It means that there are still people who stop, think, and sometimes act as well. I liked what many of you have said specially Noblese: "Answering these questions can lead to defining your further paths. It's good to take a moment every now and then and re-arrange one's priorities in life."

Although you had different views about when do we stop and think; in good or bad times, I think it doesn't matter when as long as you stop and think.

I started this Series with the start of a new year. I think it is the right time for it specially after finishing "Being Yourself Series". I think you need to know who is "yourself" before start "Being" it.

Let's start with the first question: WHO AM I?

May be it is one of the harderst questions because it is YOUR identity. I want each of you while reading this question to stop now, stand up, and ask yourself "Who am I"?

Don't be lazy, stand up and ask.... take your time....

.....

...

now, open the comments part and write the answer provided that it doesn't exceed 20 words. Too short?! Then think again, and modify..

ok, let's stop here and see what will you write first...

Mohaly

648) Personal ::: My Very Lucky Day !

Sorry for being late, but it was a hell of a week. I will wait and answer the questions of Vision part 1 in Vision part 2 later next week, but today I want to share with you some stuff that are very much related to this topic.

I just want to share with you some incidents of a weird day...

1. In the morning I was in the Airport cafe waiting for my plane heading back to cairo, the waiter spilled water on my laptop and the mother board was bye bye... almost total loss and I had to get a new one.

2. My Omega watch (expensive begad) suddenly was cut into 2 dropping to the floor and hitting a metal protrousion on its way to the floor ending up in pieces!

3. I was supposed to stary 45 mins at the airport, I stayed 5 and half hours coz of the plane delay.

4. I returned back to Cairo to find my Car motor dead; i.e. i just gotta renew it and buy a new one.

5. During the 5 hours, I had some quality time to think. As you know my main job is teaching at AUC + corporate trainings. This is in addition to being the consultant and board member of a development company. After deep thinking about some accumulative incidents that I didn't like or accept, so I decided not to renew the consulting contract with this company, and hence losing a significant percentage of my income.

The weird thing is that in spite of such huge losses in one day, I am satisfied and grateful. I dunno why, but I feel that is the right thing, I feel even better, I feel free!!

Can you link this with my questions in the last post?

Mohaly

647) The Vision - Episode 1 !

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself these questions:

- Who Am I?

- Why was I created?

- What Am I unique at?

- What difference can I make in this world?

- What is living? Is it the breathing, eating, drinking, sleeping..etc, or is it something else?

- What is death? Is it ceasing to function, getting burried, decaying, or it is another chain in a biiger life.

- Should I be happy when I die because I am moving forward? or I should be sad coz I left it all behind?

Tell me first what do you think, and we can move for part 2.

Mohaly

646) The Egyptian Map .. !

Guys, some or many of you may consider this a trivial issue, but believe me it is an important one. Almost all of the international maps have Egypt boarders with Sudan drawn wrong according to the British Administrative division between Egypt and Sundan when they succeeded in splitting them apart in the 1950s. Halayeb Triangle was recognized as Egyptian land but administrated by Sudan. Egypt boarders officially goes along with latitude line 21, but most of the maps got it wrong.

Please make sure everytime you see the wrong map (above) to send the publishers the right one (below). We should be proactive, it is our land, and our duty to keep it right on the maps.

Mohaly

645) Helal & Badr ... Menwareen !

After last week's minor change in the Egyptian Cabinet, I noticed that the ministers of Education, and Higher Education's last names are Badr (Full moon) and Helal (Crescent) respectively. I think they should change the minsiter (or head of council) of youth & sports and get someone called Amar (Moon), so that our children and youth can enjoy the "enlightment" of mind, and body!

By the way, our "beloved" minister of "bankruptcy" Youssef Ghali wasn't touched although he said 2 weeks ago -about some Egyptian contractors- that he will "Yeltala3 deen 2omohom" (nearest meaning in English "Get the hell out of the Mother Fuckers"). It seems that the "Moon" position is reserved to him!

we 3agabi,

Mohaly

644) The Christmas Fatwa!

I don't really understand the recent fatwa from some of the Muslim Shiekh's about avoiding not only celebrating Christmas, but also not even congratulating our Christian friends!

As a Muslim, I know since I was a little kid the prestigious positioning the Christ (Al Masee7 Ebn Mariam) has in Quran and Islam, and how he is among the most prominent messengers of Allah (2olo el 3azm). I also know that Virgin Mary (Mariam Al 3azraa) is one of the most sacred ladies in Islam. Moreover, the birth of the Chirst was positioned as a divine miracle more than once in Quran. So Islam does acknlowge the birth of the Christ and the miracle behind it, so what is wrong when people congratulate their Christian friends about it?!

Even if we have different points of views about the nature of Christ, this doesn't deny the fact that it is his birthday afterall, and on his birthday -peace be upon him- I am telling all my Christian Orthodox Readers today... MERRY CHRISTMAS :)

Mohaly

643) Burj "El Rayyes" !

Yesterday was the grand opening of the tallest man made building in the history of mankind "Burj Khalifa" formerly known as Burj Dubai.

Although I was amazed to see such great structure and ability to deliver, but I was shocked for having this negative fingerprint at the very end of the project. I mean changing the name of a well-known and waited for project at the last minute to hold the name of the country president & AbuDhabi ruler instead of the name of the city it was built on its land.

I know that you may say this is because Khalifa has just bailed Dubai out and saved it from bankruptcy, but they should have paid him back in another way instead of this sudden and confusing change (so far $2M is lost coz of changing the whole branding and gifts).

Even if they were so desperate and there was nothing else to do, they would have played it smarter by calling it Burj Emirates (the name of the country), or Burj Zayed who is the God father of the country and the father current president as well ;)

It is an irony that the icon Dubai built to be its sign of distinction, is named after the ruler of the sister competing city!

Anyway, it was quite an achievement, and I hope it turns out to be successful. For Dubai, I hope to see it back on track again so that it doesn't have to be in such situation again.

Mohaly

642) Being Yourself 10 - Final Episode!

Don't ever let anyone make you feel that he has control over your life. You are the one who decides how much power you give to other people, and to what extent they can interfere in your life.

Even God -All Mighty- just tells you the right way and strategy, gives you the freedom and choice, accepts your mistakes if you regret it, and only judges you at the end where He balances the good / bad deeds and actions.

So how come you pend your security in life on someone.Your security comes from within.

..... Your boss may secure you in business today, but business changes, and he may be the one who fires you tomorrow.
..... Your lover may give you emotional security today, and may be the one who dumps you tomorrow.
..... Your friends and connections may give you social security today, but may turn against you tomorrow.

So focus, and know that you are the one who chooses either being a slave for other people's choices, or freeing yourself and knowing that the only source of security is YOU.

You try your best at work, with the people you love, with friends, and enjoy the happy moments... If things aren't as before, don't feel weak or rejected, it may be a sign for "a need to change" ... not only the people, but the way you link your life with them as well.

For those believing in God: Take a "Neyyah", do your best, and thank God on whatever outcome, you are the winner in both cases. Know that only continuous relation that gives you complete security is your relation with God. It rewards you in both good and in bad, and sometimes even the bad turns out to be .. for better.

For those who don't believe in God: Don't sink in materialistic life, have a way out, do what you gotta do, but don't link your happiness or security on others coz it will be a fragile security. Focus on yourself and don't let others control you.

I love you Guys,
Mohaly

641) Between Two Decades!

Happy New Year everyone. 2010 will be a year where all of you will enjoy good times, success, happiness, but at the same time you will suffer from problems, and challenges. So be realistic in your plans and resolutions, but optimistic in your attidue and spirit.

By the way, Is 2010 the last year of the 1st decade of the 21st century or is it the 1st year of the 2nd decade?!!

Mohaly

640) .. and the Misery goes on!

I simply can't understand how can a man in the 21st century deal with his wife through beating her up!

78% of husbands -in Egypt- have beaten their wives either physically or emotionally. The irony is that 65% only of these wives have admitted it !!.....13% were even afraid to admit it!

It is even a chronic crime ... when the children watch this as a normal scene, it becomes part of the their conception about marriage, ... and the misery goes on!

I can't blame the man only, I have to blame the families that apply double standards in raising their boys and girls..... to the extent that some men think of women as a piece of furniture at home, and women accept it coz of "del ragel wala del 7eta".

But it is not about blaming only. The question is: how to prevent this from being passed on to the next generation?

Mohaly

كشف الجهازالمركزى للتعبئة والاحصاء أن حوالى 78% من الأزواج اعترفوا بأنهم مارسوا أحد أشكال العنف سواء البدنى أو النفسى أو اللفظى ضد زوجاتهم، وفى المقابل أقرت 65% من الزوجات أنهن تعرضن لأحد اشكال العف على أيدى أزواجهن.

639) Connect the News !

Each of these four pieces of news -that I read on the same day- provoked me to write about, but somehow they are linked together in my brain. It just tell us something about us and the community/ies we are living within, can you figure out the link between these headlines?!

نجيب جبرائيل يؤكد ظهور السيدة العذراء في إحدى كنائس شبر

هيئة الأمر بالمعروف السعودية تطارد فتاة فى دورة مياه للنساء

بالالوان الطبيعية فيلم مثير للجدل ينتقد عقلية التحريم

تأييد حبس مدون 4 سنوات لإدانته بازدراء الإسلام واهانته رئيس الدولة

Translation:

- A known lawyer assures the "appearance" of Virgin Mary in one of Shoubra Churches!

- "Amr Bel Ma3rouf" Authority in Saudi chases a girl inside a ladies bathroom!

- "Bel Alwan El Tabee3ya" movie is controversial as it is criticizing the mentality of banning and Taboos.

- Higher court reinforces jailing a blogger -for 4 years- for mocking Islam and the President.

Mohaly

638) "Lakad Zaka7t lak tazkaratyn" to Lebanon!

Before watching the video, please note that I do adore Lebanon and Lebanese people. Actually Lebanon is one of my top favourite 10 countries in the world. But What happened in this parliament session can't be missed.

No Comment!

Mohaly

637) Ana El Baradie ya Hosny !

Isn't it ironic that someone with the profile of Dr.Mohamed El Badarie can't serve his country and run for the president?!

The fierce attack on Baradie is not understood! Running for president should be a right for all eligible Egyptians. This attack reminded me of a TV series where a Grand Theif called el Baradie used to give hell to a police officer called Rushi, and used to call him in a certain tone every episode in order to scare him saying: "Ana El Baradie ya Roushdi". Somehow it crossed my mind that Dr.Baradie is calling President Hosny, and telling him in the same deep scary tone: "Ana El Baradie ya Honsy;)"

I am not supporting any yet, but I know that we are on the right path again when I see real elections with real different candidates like Dr.Baradie, Amr Moussa, Hosam Badrawy, Omar Soliman, Gamal Mubarak, and others debating about their real programs, and the choice is for the people at the end.

Am I dreaming ... mesh 2awy, before amending article 76 it was possible, but this article (longest artictle in any constitution in the world) has almost named the presidential candidates of 2011.

In all cases I am happy that there is such talks and debates, bit by bit change can happen ... and one day soon the major change will happen no matter how long they planned.

P.S> One of my friends has written on the facebook: "ma2edroush 3al 7omar, etshataro 3al Barad3i ;)

Mohaly

636) Knowing What Women Want ... Hmm !

Do you remember the romantic comedy "What Women Want" production of 2000, starring Mel Gibson, and Helen Hunt?

I was just wondering:

1. Will it be a blessing or a curse for a guy to hear what is inside women's mind?

2. Will women be happy about finding a guy who finally understands them, or they rather enjoy the mutual mystery with all its painful mis-communication and mis-understanding problems?

Mohaly

635) Tohamy & Wadee3 !

Yesterday I had my status on facebook as follows: "homa gabo Wadee3 we Tohami dol meneen?!". Surprisingly one of my friends has commneted: "they show u the demise of the Egyptian culture in a hillarious way"!

Really!

Do Tohami & Wadee3 represent the Egyptian culture now?!!!

Tab3an 2anesa- ops sorry- Madam Rasha, is another story ;)

Mohaly