-------- "This is the time for action not only words, use your God given gifts to develop this country, dont be afraid to speak up, and feel PROUD THAT U R EGYPTIAN." -------- Mohaly, Feb 2011

Monday, October 19, 2009

617) Being Yourself :: Episode 7 - Eating !

I remember an Egyptian proverb saying: Kol eli ye3gebak we elbesh eli ye3geb el nas (although i see that elbes kaman eli ye3gebak), i.e eat what you want and wear what others will like.. so I wonder why people push others to eat stuff or quanitities that they don't want. What is wrong in saying sorry I am full or sorry I like to eat vegetables...etc. Why do some people (especially older ones) take it as an insult if we didnt taste every single plate on the table! Be Yourself, and only eat what you want with the quantity you feel adequate.
Mohaly

لماذا نأكل في كثير من الأحيان ليس بسبب الجوع أو الإحتياج إلي الطعام ولكن مجاملة للأخرين دون النظر إلي مدي الضرر الذي نسببه بأنفسنا لأنفسنا وأجسامنا وبالتالي يقع أثر الضرر علي حالتنا النفسية - واذكر هنا كلمة للإمام الشافعي رحمه الله " ما شبعت منذ ستة عشر سنة لأن الشبع يثقل البدن ويقسي القلب ويزيل الفطنة ويجلب النوم ويضعف صاحبه عن العبادة" فماذا جنينا أذن...!
(R.M.)

12 comments:

jessyz said...

Heheheh, my in-laws are the very insisting type when it comes to food, they will even try to spoon feed you if they think you should eat something.
I, on the other hand, am very picky. I won't eat something if it doesn't look right, smell right or taste right. I won't eat something if someone else has handled it either. And I can't eat stuff I don't like. :-) My husband "mogamel" and when we are out will eat stuff he doesn't like so he won't hurt the host's/hostess's feelings. I think you can always be polite and say you are full or take a bite and say it is nice and just stop there.
I do over stuff myself with all the food I do love though :-)

Sylvia said...

When you visit friends or relatives - although "eating for mogamla" is more true when it comes to family/relative visits - you also need to take into consideration that this "meal" has been made "for you" i.e. the host and the hostess have invested effort, time and money on your behalf to say to you "welcome". Though the hostess may say "I was cooking anyway," the guest knows that this is not all true.

If you're on a diet or you don't like the items you're served, you can simply take a portion but in my opinion, you "can't" simply reject everything because when you do you'll make your host/hostess feel that he/she has failed to receive you properly and in a way you indirectly force them to try to find other alternatives to serve you other food or drinks that you might like more ... which will be as if you're adding more burden to your host/hostess or make him/her feel that her cooking is not that good ...etc.

So, the way I see it, don't be hard on yourself but also visits etiquette is important and host/hostess certainly need to feel appreciated as well.

N.B. Mohaly: sorry if I kept saying "you" I actually don't mean "you" specifically - I know you're very considerate & decent - I'm just using the pronoun "you"

Maha Aly said...

If you are on diet & you are invited to lunch/dineer, It's more polite if you say "I'm on diet" that doesn't mean "I won't eat" it simply means that "I can't eat everything"
Also, on the other hand, if you are inviting ppl, it's better to ask if there is something they don't like or prefer.
When i invite family & friends i like to cook myself & i really do it with love & i like to make everything to meet everyone's taste, but at the same time i don't take it as an insult if someone refuse to try an item or two >> I am a picky person when it comes to food :)
For old ppl, by the time some of them will get used to your way.

Where is my HI GROUP?? i wanna go out with you ppl !!

ibhog said...

mmm .. I don't indulge too much when in a family visit, I never get full like I do back at home, so the extra bite thing doesn't tease me that way.

But it vexes me if I'm invited to whole other dishes or extra rounds of dessert.

In fact, if I'm too hungry before the visit, I grab a snack to help me say I'm full when invited to have more side dishes - it just annoys me to say otherwise.

Am I weird?

Maha Aly said...

Ibhog,
You are not weird in doing so.

For me you are weird & don't ask why .. howa keda !!

ibhog said...

Maha Aly,
okay :)

Ze2red Hanem El-Darmaly said...

@ Ibhog: i do the same :), and my folks fight with me about that, because they think it's rude to go with a fulled stomach.

@ Mohaly: older people insist on that, because they think it's rude if they didn't show you "wageb el deyafa", and even worse if you ignored them, because you are indirectly insulting the hostess who did the effort arranging the table and cooking the food.

PS: i don't care to say i had enough, akheran people are used to who I am.

Pen Pen said...

WORD! I'm staying with the parentals at the moment to save cash for grad school-I really appreciate them letting me stay here, but I've gained FIFTEEN POUNDS!!! OMG!!!
My mom makes food every day...and desserts! I feel so bad not eating them! She even looked at me all sad when I was too full to eat a fruit bowl this morning! I covered it with plastic wrap and promised to eat it later-but I think she was hurt...lame!

mohammad said...

thanks alot for el emam el shaf3i's words, i'll use them to back up my situation mn hena w raye7 when my parents say "waga3ek ya batni wala rami el tabikh" (msh masal fashel bardo?!!).

Hicham said...

The reason is simply because people used to take a lot care of "Social Obligations" regardless anything else. And I agree with your ending.

insomniac said...

it is also painful when you offer people something when you're the host and they say "no" yet they expect you to push... then, when you don't push (because you don't know how or because you wouldn't like it being done to you), they make all sorts of false assumptions...

we just love making life a little bit more complicated, don't we :)

R.'Eltayeb said...

Yes isomniac, we do complicate life - I dont love doing that though - ;what hurt more is that it is already complicated! so we should not add one more burden on ourselves.
I once read something that said, that the human beings have 3 dimensions:
• How you see yourself.
• How others see you.
• How you want others to see you.
and the closer the distance between the 3 dimensions, the more you are a normal, simple and happy person.
**********
Be yourself, when u eat, u talk, u laugh, u love, ... when u meet people ( stranger or closer) when u are alone ... “be yourself”