-------- "This is the time for action not only words, use your God given gifts to develop this country, dont be afraid to speak up, and feel PROUD THAT U R EGYPTIAN." -------- Mohaly, Feb 2011

Sunday, December 2, 2007

333) The Dark Side of Egypt III - Divorce

One of the major drawbacks of our generation is the exponential increase in the divorce rate among couples in 20s and 30s. I really dont understand what is going on and why, specially there arent actually other options than marriage in our culture.

In one week:

- one my best friends who has been married after a long love story and beautiful kids, for many years now is getting divorced, for really no reasons.

- one of the family friends is getting divorced from her husband in Dubai because she "found out" her husband is not responsible.

- third couple are getting divorced after shar el 3asal, and they were almost living together before.

As you know I wanna get married but these stuff scare me, coz these are people I know and have a lot in common. The crisis is that it is increasing day after day till it reached a scary % ( 1 out of every 5 married couples gets divorced every year, and increasing!). This is in addition to "separated" couples who will double this percentage if added to the study; i.e. it is almost a 50-50 change to have a successful marriage.

What is wrong, and how can we avoid such waste of time, emotions, money, children,...Life!
and how can you make sure that its the right person since love, family ..etc are not a gurantee for happiness.



nouwara said...

i can't concentrate to think abt it
...but is not surprizing most of long love stories are not successful marriage...
or even don't end up with marriage
i know more than an examples.

Shimaa Gamal said...

It is so simple ya Mohaly. You gave the reason while stating the problem.
you said "there arent actually other options than marriage in our culture."
And because of that lots of people have been taking the marriage decision lightly. There are many people who get married for the wrong reasons, not mention people who marry the wrong persons.
Lots of couples mistake lust with love. Lots of couples fall for illusions. It is then expected for these marraiges to fail.
The sucess isn't related to how the couple got married. It is not something related to love or arranged marriages. It is related to the preception of marriage.

Marriage is a huge step, even those who almost lived together will be shocked when they do get into the golden cage.
Living together around the clock is something different. Living together in the golden cage,where you know that there is no place to hide is something different.
It needs work for anything to succeed. Relationships needs work & marriage isn't something to be taken lightly.

embee said...

I totally agree with Shimaa. Besides, people seem to think that finding someone eligible and working out the finances are the sole two steps before marriage. Which is a load of crap. Before even finding someone to marry, one has to have a plan for themselves. What I intend to do. Where do I intend to go. How will I raise my kids. etc etc. Lots of things to think over & know inside out. Then when someone comes along. We map our plan with theirs. But el gawaz for the sake of gawaz w yalla 3ashan nefra7 w negeeb 3eyal yefarra7oona is a load of crap. Like before taking a trip, one has to plan it and know every single detail. And it's a trip for a weekend, a week or month. This is a lifetime thing and people don't think through at all.

amina said...

and the highe expenses, expectations, raises lots of minor and major problems between the families so that when the couple are about to get married they already have lost a lot of love in these problems along the way

and didnt enjoy their engagement period as well!

omar said...

what about sex?! cant ot be a real reason for divorce but a hidden one that people donnot talk about.

Shimaa Gamal said...

Yes Omar, sex is one of the important reasons. Most of the problems arise in the bedroom. Actually, the most unsolvable problems originate in the bedroom.
Actually one important reason for nakad el setat is an unsatisfying sexual life.

Tamer Mokhtar said...

I believe that the main point is accepting the other and how far they are compromising.

and i agree bedroom the right place! to compromise for a reason :D

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

divorce is the current disease ... el nas maba2ash 3andaha 7'ol2 to compromise things... to reach a base of understanding ... to support each other in hard times

sex is a major reason... it completes the relationship, and crown it with integrity with the partner... not just emotionally but physically... and i beleive that men of egypt doesnt know how to treat women in bed! wrong practices... moreover the bunch of psychological problems related to sex ...

money is another reason... the couple may prefer to separate cause they cant do well financially ... marriage is not about grocery, it is about a million other thing that requires money

and the worst of all... is communication !!! can couples really communicate?! open to each other... share every dream and worries together ???!!!

few can, the majority cant

Also, Dealing with marriage as a chain... both couples are trying to chain eachother with all sorts of limitations... althought it is a mean to make the couple free!!

anyway, each is a case mohaly... go for marriage it is a bless, and if you cherish it.. it will ensha alah last

Sohad said...

Any luck in cracking the code of marriage, divorce, and what happens after divorce? Lol Ana ba3d 18 sana 7'edma fee thanawee ma3reftesh :))