-------- "This is the time for action not only words, use your God given gifts to develop this country, dont be afraid to speak up, and feel PROUD THAT U R EGYPTIAN." -------- Mohaly, Feb 2011

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

591) Being Yourself !

Why is it always hard to be "yourself"?
Why are people looking for being like someone else while everyone can be unique in his or her own way based on his or her skills?
Why are we always looking for what others have and think that if we just have had that, we would have been happy and satisfied?
Why don't we make use of all what we have got first, and then start looking at what others have? I think if we did so, we won't have time to look to others aslan.
These thoughts were in my mind, but were personalized infront of me in this beautiful movie "Teer Enta" that I watched over the last weekend. I have chosen some important parts of the lyrics that really describe what I totally believe in, the parts in dark red do really touch a nerve.

ماتحاولش تبقى آي حد تاني
غير نفسك

دور بنفسك جوه نفسك
متكسلش قوم قلب ودور حتلاقي ميزتك
صدقني حتلاقي ميزتك

متحاولش تبقى حد تاني غير نفسك
خليك واثق في نفسك
قوم دور بنفسك جوه نفسك
حتلاقي حاجه. محدش فيها ينافسك
متحاولش تبقى حد تاني غير نفسك
دور بنفسك جوه نفسك
متكسلش قوم قلب دور حتلاقي ميزتك

الإنسان مابترضى حالك ودايما عاجبك حال الغير
مهما يكون حالتك دايما باصص للتغيير
صدقني لو بصيت جواك حتلاقي ياما كتير
قدرات مميزات إن كنت غني أو فقير

متقللش من نفسك ده أنت بنفسك طاقة خير
حتحقق كل إللي فنفسك وإللي يمسك خليه يطير

إرضى يا يابن آدم بإللي إتقسم عليك
ولوإني عارفك مش حترضى غير بتراب في عنيك
ربك ميز كل واحد منا بحاجه

فالناس تفضل لبعض دايما محتاجه

دور وإلقى ميزتك حاول حافظ عليها
طورها إتميز بيها حياتك حتلاقيها
رايقه وماشيه صح طول مأنت راضي بيها

إرضى بحياتك إنت وإقبلها باللي فيها
ده الرضا نعمه كبيره إحمد ربك عليها
وخدها مني كلمه مافي حاجه بتساويها

لومالكش عازه مكنتش إتخلقت
ولاإتحسبت مالناس ولا إترزقت


H.A.W. said...

add kaman that the unique personality of each one allows us all to live under the same sky and share this world. no need to kill others for me to live.
bas who understands.

H.A.W. said...

not sure we have this concept here in egypt.most of ppl think that if the other lives, i have to die.

Anonymous said...

You know, I don't watch Egyptian movies, I don't do Arabic songs, I hate all actors and all the superficial directors with their ditsy scenarios.

Until I watched this movie, and it warmed my heart, and I actually walked out from the show room happy and this doesn't happen to me easily.

About your questions, I had a recent theory that states being single is a huge part of the problem (because it's a fulfillment issue), but I'm having other thoughts though .. you know .. sometimes I need (like really terribly crave) to just sit with a wise old man who can just answer me and tell me that there can be a plan for me.

It's one of those months, I'm having catastrophic mood swings, and your post touched on my nerves too really.

I believe we all need help, I just don't know what kind of help, and if you knew about the umpteen of attempts that just didn't work out with me, you'll even get more depressed.

Everything is fake, the world became a challenge so far to reach that it could cause damage in the way, it urges you to wish you were in a deep cave in a very high mountain, or in the bottom of an ocean, existing in total silence, a silence so overwhelming it makes you hear absolutely nothing, not even the sound of your own thoughts.

We need to come to terms with what we want, so sincere with ourselves, so clear about our needs and we have to overcome many obstacles and take down many walls, we should do all that so we can know what the problem is, and then just .. fix it :(

How can we do that? how can we .. fix .. us?

I don't know the answer, I'm not even close, and I really really could use some help.

Yalla rabena ye3enna wallahe ..

Sorry for the dull tone, I wasn't really having a good day ..

P.S. I'm an official fan of your blog, there's a magical thing that just happens in this comment editor, I always find the words to write here, while back in my blog, I feel completely blank!

I owe you for that, don't I ?! :)

Mohaly said...

Ibhog, I will start from the last part. I am really glad to hear that, coz a blog is not a blog without this feeling of its readers.
Thank you for the re-assurance :)

Mohaly said...

I am interested in knowing more about your thoughts about being single and its relation with being yourself.

Maha Aly said...

Mohaly, it's really inspiring & motivating. It's very true that every one is unique in his/her own way, i don't have to be perfect to be good, i have to be convinced that i am good at what i am doing & what i am capable of doing!
It's also about satisfaction & "fulfillment" as ibhog said.
If anyone keep trying to be someone else he will end up loosing himself & his opportunity to be someone.
Seeking perfection is good, but on your own way.

Maha Aly said...

Why do i smell depression ??

Mohaly is really out of mood & depressed these days, but i guess you are trying to get over it.
Ibhog seems to feel the same.
Shaimaa Gamal also is out of mood.

What's going on ppl? is it the "summer ending depression" or it's just "August" ?
Don't you know that other ppl around you will be affected by this mood? either because they are worried about u or they get affected easily !!

CHEER UP GUYS, life is short & there is no time for that :))

Wish you all the best.

ahmed said...

الإنسان مابترضى حالك ودايما عاجبك حال الغير
مهما يكون حالتك دايما باصص للتغيير

It is very hard not to look at others, what can we do?

Mohaly said...

May be it is August, I have always considered August the worst month in the year. I dunno why, may be coz I dont like summer, and I like production, and in August there is LOTS of summer (heat, humid, showing off), and FEW production.
May be coz I am so lonely..
but I dont know why with others.

Anyway, this post is a DA3WA 3AMMA for S-O Strategy... Building on our own strengths to get more opportunities. May be out of which is being in a better mood!

Maha Aly said...

Mohaly & the Strategic management fever :))

Maha Aly said...

By the way Mohaly, about you question to Ibhog ...... It's good to be single, but not "forever"
I can tell you the difference between being single & being committed/married, but from a female point of view, which will definetly be different than that of a male. so i will wait & tell u later!!

Mohaly said...

ok ya Maha, I will wait for it..

By the way, I am really overwhelmed with this song, it is touching deeeeep inside me, and all what I have believed.. For some people it may be a wakeup for, but for me it is an assurance that is coming at the right time.

Sylvia said...

I guess one of the reasons why we don't act as "ourselves" is that because we always care about how others perceive us... "Do they think I'm funny? Does she think I'm fat? Do they think I'm stupid?" To live ourselves, we've got to let go of these concerns and just let our behaviors flow - still with respect and with consideration to others.

The challenge is, can we be ourselves and take out the masks we put on in different situations with different people?? I guess masks are part of the "big game" either we like it or not..

What if, you want to be what you wish to be in life.. and what if you want to pursue your dreams.. and what if your true self needs to breath but you find it DIFFICULT for so many reasons.. one of the reasons is WHAT LIFE IMPOSES ON YOU...

I'm depressed too.. I guess we need a psychiatrist here:(

Maha Aly said...

Sylvia, most of the ppl are wearing masks, & it's hard to tell whether it's a mask or not!!

Try not to give up & fall in to the depression trap, think positive, have a break, do something different, something new ... it will help :))

Marwa said...

Mohaly, I was just waiting for you to watch it, coz i was very sure that you will definitely like it ;)

As for me...It was just the right movie, in the right time....

Anonymous said...

[Comment part 1]


You know why we all love drama?

We Martians can't survive without being admired, appreciated and accepted, while Venusians can't survive without caring, reassurance and protection.

Drama is always the chance for you(a man) to care, reassure and protect a woman, and for her to admire, appreciate and accept you. Believe it or not, this is the definition of fulfillment for a man, he may be appreciated at work for his achievements and admired for his work ethic, but he'll never be fulfilled the way a woman appreciates and admires him, let alone 'accept' him. This is crucial for men.

And for women, it's the same, she can always receive caring, reassuring and protection from her female friends, but having a man is very different, so she'll always feel unsafe and worried until he gives her the protection and reassurance she needs.

My theory states that being single is not having the sufficient drama in your life to receive/give all of the above, and in a grand scheme of life, sometimes you feel it's ALL ABOUT being a single! Can you imagine never being fulfilled ?!

My theory continues to explain a phenomenon I observed, I always find people complaining about life in very vague ways, talking about how 'unhappy' they are, how they need 'change' and 'something new', but they don't have a clue that all this translate directly into a 'terrible need for the significant other'.

We're half humans, what do you say about a person with one hand and one leg telling you that they need change!

They don't need change! they need a hand and a leg!

So, we don't need change! we need our other halves .. soulmates .. or whatever the name maybe.

I have two other points I want to talk about:

>> After we knew that the problem is in being single, what's next?

Actually, for me, 'knowing' the problem is a breakthrough on its own, it made me think way more clearly than I used to be, I approach my life differently, I mean I know now what 'change' I always blather about to people, and I'm very honest about it. I need drama! deal with it!

El Waksa ba2a is in people hena in Egypt .. boys and girls around here right after hearing the word 'drama' they suddenly think of movies and reality shows! Making it very hard for them to 'live it' because for them, they only know it in imagination, and
though the chances are rare to find the fulfillment we watch on the screen in real life, but sometimes there are chances in real life, but because we are never really ready/honest enough about our needs, we so pathetically miss those chances, in a painful continuum of our own complaints.

No one steps up for what they want, we have gray areas in that domain, and we deny it. That's something we need terrible help in.

Sylvia said...

thanks ya Maha.. sometimes a little change would help - like when you buy something new to cheer yourself up or when you split from work for a couple of days...etc. but some other times nothing works except a "real change" either in you or in the circumstances...

Anonymous said...

[Comment part 2]

>>After getting married, or after scoring a nice fulfilling relationship, is that the end of our misery.

This is a huge misconception, the only thing we (zayy ma7na) will achieve by finding our soulmates is fulfillment yes, but we're
not aware of yet another full-fledged spectrum of issues and problems aslan .. because guess what .. we're 'we' zayy ma7na! We chase trouble.

And this my friend, my very last point de .. is a deal breaker, it entirely revoked the correctness of my theory and that's why I told you I was having other thoughts, the problem isn't really in being a single person, it's in being the 'person you are now', and that 'you need to change right away', and if you think about it you'll find that deciding to not be single and trying to hunt your significant other right away, and being frank about your needs IS A CHANGE IN YOU, and that's step one.

Step two happens to be around the single issue, that clouded my judgment but the real reason for happiness is in finding love in
your life, and the real reason for finding love in your life is *you* deciding to find love in your life the frank and honest way.

Step one is always about you 'YOU' and not anyone else.

Marriage in Egypt is anything but FRANK, divorce rates are eruptive and people here don't know squat about relationships and love aslan. They didn't change for sharing a life, they need it, but they are never ready for it.

That's why when I see a truly happily married couple with a baby Mohaly, when I see that and witness that pristine vibe, it's
rare but I really see it sometimes, the beautiful mommy holding her baby, and the responsible dad buying his son Ice Cream at the mall, when I see this 'happy family', I can't describe to you the feeling .. I really can't.

Happily married people should share their experiences and tell us about relationships .. you know John Gray, the one who wrote 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' told us that his marriage inspired his book, the book that changed the lives of millions of people.

So we don't really need a shrink, we just need professional help in that area ..

I hope I was clear. I'm still working on my theory myself, so it's sort of premature. Input is mostly welcomed.

And my mood is still the same 3ala fekra :(

[if my long comments annoy you please say so, because I'm kind of enjoying it so I won't be able to tell if it's silly :D]

Sylvia said...

or Both

Mohaly said...

you are right Marwa :)

Maha, it seems that it is a contagious depression. We need help!

Sylvia, so what do u suggest as "real change"?

Mohaly said...

Your comment is giving me a physco-mental orgasm! .. That is so true and scary at the same time.

For the happy family part, I can imagine your feeling coz I do really enjoy the scene, I can spend like 10 mins just watching the parents and kids, and I do pray for them to continue to be that happy and make others happy as well.

Again it is all about BEING YOURSELF. Successful relationships is about being and accepting ourselves and our partners the way we are, and the way they are. Or else we will waste our best timings of our lives in doing the wrong thing at the wrong time with the wrong person.

Sylvia said...

ibhog, I admire the way you speculate and meditate about things. However, I really feel lost.. I lost the connection between your theory about being single and between the original posting "Being Yourself" what's the connection please?

Mary jacoub said...

على باب سفارة كندا.. لمحت ابليس و ف ايده استماره..

بقول له على فين.. قاللي بص .. يا هجره يا اعاره..

يا عم زهقت.. كفرت .. الاقيش معاك سيجاره..

انا انتهيت خلاص .. لا نافع وسواس ولا خناس

ولا ليا عيش وسط الناس..

دي عالم مجرمين.. عندكوا فائض ف الفساد..

في كل البلاد..

ومش محتاجين شياطين .. مليش عيش ف دي البلاد..


بقالي سنين عاطل .

و انتوا بتعرفوا تقلبوا الحق باطل..

و تسلكوا القاتل .. و تمشوا ف جنازة المقتول..

ومفيش مشاكل..

يا عم ده انا بقيت أوسوس بالمقلوب..

و أقول للحرامي .. كفايه بقى .. توووووب..

انت ايه . لوحدك هاتعمل كل الذنوب..

و أنا ابليس أشتغل واعظ .. ولا كمساري ف اتوبيس..

يا عم ده انا زمان

كنت استنى حد ينسى يسمي وهو بياكل لقمته..

دلوقتي كل اكلكم ملوث .. و بصراحه الواحد خايف على صحته..

ده مفيش ضمير اساساً عشان اموته..

و كل واحد بمزاجه .. خربانه ذمته..

يا عم ده كل حاجه اتسرقت..

وكده الاجيال الجديده م الحراميه اتظلمت..

يا راجل ده من كتر ما لطشت معايا..

خرجت ف مظاهره مع الناس اللي بتقول كفايه..

و برضه ......... مفيش فايده

Sylvia said...

Mohaly, a "real change" differs from one person to another. A "real change" for me might not be of any significance to someone else... because we do have different dreams, we see things from different prespectives and we face different challenges and set backs...

For some people a "real change" could be finding their other half or to get married.. for other people it might be immigration or more money and more financial resources...etc.

To me, one of the "real changes" that could make me happy is a jump in my career path!

Omar Rostom said...

de 3al nerve we kaman nerve 3eryan,
7elwa 2awy 7etet en kol wa7ed feh 7aga fal nas 3alatoul leba3d me7taga
BEYOOOTEEFUL 3ala ra2y mekky

in Dubai everyone is trying to be the other, in the same time everyone is showing off!!!

Omar Rostom said...

Mesh 3aref leih mesh 2ader 2asada2ek ya Maha, asl enti shaklek men el nas betou3 kol 7aga 3azeema we perfect fa 7ekayet mesh lazem neb2a perfect di hmmmmmm ;)

Anonymous said...


Thank you for your compliment :)

The relationship I meant is simple, people tend to mistake 'being one's self' for 'ignore other people'. So we try and live without giving regard to what other people think about us.

This is generally true and healthy, nothing is nicer than independence, but when it comes to your soulmate, denying your 'need' to know about what the other thinks, is not healthy at all.

This need is simply (for men) the fulfillment issue, we tend to distract ourselves (according to my premature theory) from this fact by seeking fulfillment else where, we (men) admire success, because it's a way women admire us (btw, that's not necessarily the goal we have in mind all the time, it's kind of instinctual), so we hunt it all the time, and because we admire success, we admire successful (fulfilled) people, so we kind of lose track sometimes and suddenly discover that ourselves are lost in the way, so we pull back to being our own selves again, convinced that that's the best option.

If we're fulfilled (by not being single), then we may be more focused in terms of our needs and responsibilities.

Sometimes, Sylvia, *all* a man needs to find his true self, and be his true self, is a woman.

The question is, will he seek her? and will she accept him? for who he is like Mohaly said?

I hope I was clear, I actually am thinking loudly, and I appreciate the discussion.

ahmed said...

مقعد في الصالة
أحمد مكي‏..‏طير انت فرحا‏!‏

كتبت ـ ماجدة حليم‏:‏

الافلام التي تحقق الامنيات خاصة عندما يخرج العفريت من القمقم‏..‏ وهو عادة يسمي ـ عفركوش الذي يحقق الامنيات قدمتها السينما المصرية في عدة أفلام لفريد الاطرش وسامية جمال وإسماعيل ياسين‏.‏

أما فيلم‏(‏ طيرانت‏)‏ للمخرج أحمد الجندي فهو يقدم عفريتا جديدا‏..‏ عفريت متعلم يسعي للحصول علي شهادة من انسان لكي ينتقل إلي صف اعلي‏..‏ وعفريتنا هو ماجد الكدواني‏,‏ اما الانسي فهو الدكتور بهيج‏(‏ أحمد مكي‏)‏ الذي يحظي بشكل غير مقبول خاصة عند النساء وهو يتمني أن يصل لقلب الفتاة التي قابلها صدفة ووقع في هواها‏,‏ تقوم بالدور دنيا سمير غانم‏..‏ أما القصة مقتبسة من الفيلم الامريكي‏Bedazzled..‏ وايضا فهي منسوبة للزميل الصحفي عمر طاهر‏..‏ ويقال إن الجميع اشترك في كتابة السيناريو‏..‏ والموسيقي لعمرو إسماعيل وتصوير أحمد جبر ومونتاج سلامة نور الدين وديكور حمدي عبدالرحمن واستايلست مروة عبدالسميع‏.‏

أما العفريت اللطيف فهو يحقق لدكتور بهيج‏7‏ امنيات يصل بما إلي قلب حبيبته ليلي‏..‏ وتختلف الامنيات بين القوة البدنية والمشاعر العاطفية وسطوة المال والشهرة وغيرهما‏..‏ ويقدمهما المخرج باداء أحمد مكي في أسلوب ساخر لاجيال الشباب الذين يتكلمون لغة ليست لغة‏..‏ وحتي السينما الهندية لم تفلت من امنيات د‏.‏ بهيج لينال رضا ليلي حبيبته‏.‏

لكنه يكتشف أن كل هذا وهم لا يصل بالانسان إلي أي نتيجة‏..‏إنما يحقق الانسان امنيته اذا وثق في نفسه واكتشف ذاته وتأكد أن الطرف الآخر لابد أن يقبله كماهو بكل مساوئه ومزاياه‏.‏

وهكذا تتحقق الامنية اخيرا ليفوز بليلاه‏..‏ لكن عفريته يؤكد له انه وراء كل الاحداث‏.‏

الفيلم لطيف‏..‏ والجمهور يضحك‏..‏ رغم انني توجست في البداية انني وقعت في مقلب جديد‏..‏ وشعرت ببعض الملل‏.‏

لكن اهم ما يميز الفيلم انه يدفعك كمشاهد أن تنظر لنفسك كما خلقك الله‏..‏ لاتغير كلامك ولامظهرك‏..‏ ولاتدعي الثراء‏..‏ إنما السر يكمن في أن تكتشف ذاتك‏.‏ وحين تجد نفسك تجد الحب يحوطك من الآخرين وخاصة التي تحبها أو تحبه‏.‏

هذا هو ما اعجبني في فكرة الفيلم حتي لو كانت مقتبسة‏..‏ واظن أن كثيرا من الشباب الذين شاهدوا الفيلم ستتغير نظرتهم لانفسهم وأمور كثيرة في الحياة‏.‏

فهو الحب الذي يدفع كل الاحداث وكل الامنيات لكي تتحقق‏..‏ وبدونه يظل الانسان يبحث عن عفريت يحقق له ما لايمكن حدوثه‏!‏

وقد لفت انتباهي الاستايلست وهي مصممة الازياء‏..‏ كما جاء المونتاج سريعا في النصف الثاني مما دفع المشاهد للانتباه أكثر من النصف الاول‏..‏ وطبعا مدير التصوير يحسب له دوره المميز في الاحداث مع تميز الديكور مع الصورة

وهذا الفيلم لم يكن أحد ينتظر له النجاح‏..‏ لكنه حاليا يطير فرحا بنجاحه‏.‏

sherry said...

helllo there...I loved the lyrics tooo......I like hearing the song whenever my schedule allows me...so simple yet so true.....
and mohaly I was thinking of the same thing tooo....why ppl are always seeking to be like someone else? why they can pick the faults in others easily too yet they can't dig deep within and Embrace the soul within as it....we need to do that in order to work on ourselves and improve, else how could we?
man/ woman should be aware of the fact that the whole universe is constantly changing so do we....shall the change remain in only the appearance "age" or be reflected in more "rich" ways.....one needs first to love and embrace himself/herself.....
Thanks for sharing.....

Engy Samir said...

Mohaly and others,
Have been reading the blog for quite sometime, enjoying what is being discussed over here, yet never participated ... but this time ba2a, mesh 2adra :)

To answer ur question, I want to share a simple personal belief, and that is, no matter what each of us is doing is his life, we all seek one single goal, To Be Loved !! ... And that not necessarily be by the significant other, although it is the most fulfilling...
So for example, u work hard, teaching ur students, try to make a change in this world, and in return u r after the love of those u affected their lives .. It is the energy that charges your soul, that keeps you going on ... Same applies to all of us, we want to be successful, rich, powerful, ... u name it ... just to be loved ...
So if this is the ultimate goal of each and everyone, then ppl tend to look around them,
see what attracts them in others, what is impressive about them, what makes them special and hence loved ... And since we are craving for this feeling, we are ready to sacrifice anything for it, even OURSELVES !!! We do this by running after false hopes that if we got this thing (whatever heya eh ba2a, materialistic or not), we will be loved (like them).. But what really happens if even we get what we wanted is that we find ourselves in our same position, still craving !! .. And I really don't know why is everybody having this emotional dissatisfaction !! And it has nothing to do with being single or not, or having kids or not ... But seems that we are all running out of our emotional gas !!

As for the depression state, it's definitely 7ala 3ama :)) ... But I guess it is normal to have a lot of trouble b4 Ramadan to get distracted ..

Thank you Mohaly for this very interesting blog ... And i hope it wasn't too long for the first contribution :)

Maha Aly said...

Omar, seeking perfection doesn't mean that i try to be someone else just because he/she is perfect, nobody hates to be perfect but it depends on how r u going to do that !
I honestly thank god for what i have, whether it makes me a perfect person or not, i know i am perfect in some areas & i am a total mess in lots of stuff, but working on self improvement 'my own way'
with every new step i take it as a challenge, i know i can do it, i am totally convinced with myself ... my personality & my capabilities, so why not when i do something i don't do it in a perfect way ? It gives self satisfaction :))
plus, i am convinced that life is too short, when r u going to live it as 'YOU' if u kept trying to be someone else? you will end up beig just a copy !!

Mohaly said...

I do the same, heared it like 10 times in 2 days! really good one.

Thank You Engy, and welcome to the blog, hope to see you more :)

Mota2aleka el ayam di

Mohaly said...

so, I recommend that each and every one of you meet with him/herself and start listing what is his/her unique point(s).
Then he/she starts putting an action plan based on these points.
Anyone wants to share?

Maha Aly said...

Mohaly, as if u were reading my mind, i already did that list & to my own surprise the 'to be improved' issues are more than i expected, one of them tab3an as u know is ... 'time' ... e7em "hope loli is not reading this ;)"
As for the action plan, i am still trying to put a reasonable one that i can implement :)

Mary jacoub said...

Hi all:it's important please all try to give it some of ur attention:
few days ago i watched a movie called"pay it forward" i don't know if anyone of you'd seen it before or not,anyway there was an idea in this film which was:A teacher gave an assignment to his students it was that each one of them choose 3 people need help and do everything they can to help them or to solve their problems,and when they succeed those three people help another 3 people&so on,of course they face a lot of problems doing this mission coz it's not easy doing this but at least somebody can..... And now what do you think don't we all need help?don't we all need support?don't we all need somebody to help him/her?at least i do badly...what do you think guys can we do it?Can we all who share this blog do it?what do you think about it?
I'm sorry if i said a lot but may be u won't hear from me for a long time...coz i'm in a very bad mood and i lost the ability in doing anything but i really wanted so much to share with you this idea as long as some of us would like to make a difference.

Mohaly said...

Maha: great :) I hope that it works ;) You gotta push yourself hard - but not too hard- if you wanna see a difference, and remember that gradual change is much better and long-lasting than sudden one (wala enti mazakerteeshj el 7eta di ;)

Mary: Don't surrender please, at least you share with us.

By the way regarding pay it forward, you will find an icon on the right side of the blog (scroll down just above the topics tags) supporting the concept, and check post 382.

Maha Aly said...

La2 zakert w fehemt ya Mohaly, kaman my instructor was great :)) w ba3deen u said i'm an "A" Student wala kan kalam ?!
Anyway, I am working on my personal development as i discovered >> here is a confession >> that sometimes i criticize ppl & when i think about it .., well .., i am not much better than who/what i am criticizing, so i should start with myself 1st ... then criticize bemazagy ba2a ;)
to be honest, i love me as i am, but why not to be better :)

Maha Aly said...

Please don't give up, u r a strong woman & whatever happened u know there is a person who needs you, whenever you feel u'll give up, fight back, for urself 1st & for ur daughetr !!
It's not the end of the world my dear.
Also remember ... it's never too late to start over again ;) .... u know what i mean, don't u?

Sylvia said...

ya Maha.. I very much like your spirit...khaliki hena please..matemshish argouki.. you give me hope and you ease and lighten things... by the way did you do the Compensation assignment?:))

Sylvia said...

ibhog: thanks for the thorough clarification. However, I disagree with you on the 1st paragraph " So we try and live without giving regard to what other people think about us". My opinion was completely the opposite: that we don't live the truly us because we so much care about how people perceive us.

Mesh mohem who thinks about who how el mohem that 1)we love & accept ourselves as Sherry said 2) we acknowledge our strengths and be proud of it 3) we acknowledge our weaknesses and work on improving ourselves 4) live our true self as much as we can 5)know what we want to achieve 6)and try to take actions. Right ya Mohaly? I believe I deserve a full mark for this piece of strategic thinking:))

Maha Aly said...

Sylvia, Thanx for your sweet words .. by the way, i did not recognize that u r Sylvia Fahmy, mesh te2oly men badry :)
The assignment ... tab3an tab3an ... mesh fakra kanet about what? but i am considerning myself in a break till we resume classes ;)
One of my other "bad issues" that i tend to delay everything till last minute :))

Mohaly said...

Sa7 ya Sylvia :)

Maha, u need an advanced time management course, I will try to resume posting time management tips on the blog mean while you can check the previous time management posts http://mohaly.blogspot.com/search/label/Time%20Management

Mohaly said...

I am thinking of having BEING YOURSELF as a series, it worth further discussion. please send me (if you wanna share) your thoughts, worries, or experiences, and I will try to tackle a different issue each episode.
Blog Mail: mohaly.mail@gmail.com

Mary jacoub said...

Mohaly&Maha:Thanks really for ur great support god knows what do these words mean to me....i promise you that i'm not gonna surrender in my family they call me the fighter, but i'm just going away for a while to be me again..
By the way about"ma t7awelsh teb2a 7ad tany 3'eir nafsak" i totally agree with these words and like maha i also like myself the way it is and if i'm gonna change so i'll think how to change to the best...Thanks again guys you know what through love you can get over everything...........

Anonymous said...


Being your self is not easy you will end up anti social person, cause people will question, judge, and even if you try to answer, explain, it will be perceived that you need acceptance and approval which is not the case. so you will end up keeping your thoughts to your self or be like every one else.

MariannE_N said...

Well let me tell you this, the more you get closer to a person the more you will be yourself with them. The more I deal with higher level people (like managers or elder people) or scary, toxic people the more I am like (oh it's not me. Also sometimes when I am scared I try to show I am a beast wana aslan rokabi betere3esh zai el jelly.
Also we can't act like ourselves when we feel "uncomfortable" fi makan ...
Mesh 3arfa bas delwa2ti eftakart Ali El Hagar song "mesh 3aref leh batwanes beki we ka2enek men dami, 3ala ra7ti ma3aki we ka2enek omi" :-D

MariannE_N said...

Ok shakly mesh hazaker el lela di. Eftakart 7aga kaman: I remember I passed through a depression period of time when I used to hear people telling me "Oh Marianne you changed a lot"
And I was like "Oh God, do they mean I changed for better or worse"
Also my school days were like hell to me, I really cared a lot of how do people see me personal wise and physical wise.
As some mentioned, we will never satisfy people and I remembered the story of Goha and his son, when Goha was riding the donkey people said "what a cruel man, he is riding the donkey and his poor son is walking" so he got off and made his son ride the donkey so people said "He is a bad father he did not teach his son manners" so the two of them ride the donkey and people said "What a cruel people, they are all riding the poor donkey". You know what Goha did after that? He and his son carried the donkey.
Funny but true, you will never satisfy people.
This doesn't mean we never listen to people ... Like Jad Shwaery's song "ana ha3mel yalla be rasi" Lol
No we listen to HONEST people who really CARE.

Hicham said...

Yes Mohaly, I believe that eveybody has a 'unique' personality because everyone has his/her own mind that interpret things accoding to the backgound, way of thinking, dealing with thing.

Also I recall + believe in Oscar Wild's "Be yourself, everyone else is taken" :D

Anonymous said...

That's one meaningful song Mohaly
I haven't watched the movie, but the song is amazing..I hope there are more songs of the kind to motivate people and instill in them some values and address challenges that being faced in our society today....

It reminds me of one of my favourite songs by Tiesto "Just be", and my facebook motto :D "Just be you cause life is too short to be anybody else"

The song says:
You can travel the world
But you can't run away
From the person you are in your heart
You can be who you want to be
Make us believe in you
Keep all your light in the dark
If you're searching for truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense of what you can see
Just be
They say learning to love yourself
Is the first step
That you take when you want to be real
Flying on planes to exotic locations
Won't teach you
How you really feel
Face up to the fact
That you are who you are
Nothing can change that belief
Just be
cause now I know
It's not so far
To where I go
The hardest part
Is inside me
I need
To just be
Just be

It's wonderful song and the music is great too!

Enjoying your blog, will start one soon inshaAllah :)
Happy Ramadan Dr. Mohamed...

Mohaly said...

Very nice lyrics Soha
Thanks for Sharing.

I have got some emails about Being Yourself Episodes. Please send me if you have stories or ideas regarding that.

Mariam said...

begad ur topics r so much significant, and yes.. kl wa7ed lazem yeb2a nafso... weydawar 3ala nafso.. yeb2a unique.. whatever others views ba2a!!!!!
bas brdo it happens en el wa7ed yemor be la7zat thekato be nafso tet-haz mahma kan we mahma kan 3ando...

amma 3an el film fa howa begad ra23... and the song ana ta2riban basma3ha daily wana on my way back home.. bet-thabetny 3ala mawkefi :D

Willy said...

This post reminded me with a quote from "My so called life"
"People are always saying you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster. Like you know what it is even"
sometimes it is so hard to discover and know who you are and some people spend thier lives without knowing themselves.

Willy Faheem

Dina "Zeiada " said...

Finding and understanding ourselves are the introductions for being ourselves ...