This contrbution I got from one of this blog stars; Ibhog. It is discussing the frequency of how often do you manage to express how you feel?
"When you feel sad, disappointed, appalled, happy, vulnerable, scared, hopeful, mortified, offended, wronged, low, angry, inappropriate, expecting, embarrassed, love, hate, compassion, admiration .. etc. Do you manage to communicate your feelings? (notice that I listed variably to widen the perspective).
In your opinion, how much does failing to express feelings the right way affect our quality of lives as individuals?
And last, how should we learn to express them? and .. what obstacles shall we face?
ibhog,"
It is a very hard question coz it is not easy to show all what you feel even with a blunt person like me. I have conveyed and reflected many feelings, but these days I have been carrying many beautiful, sweet on a side, and negative feelings on the other and wanna explode in both directions and simply can't coz the consequences can be painful and regretful. Is it easy to take off the mask, or has it become part of our faces?
Mohaly
14 comments:
@ ibhog:
yes, i manage to communicate at most of times. what only keeps me quiet is that what bothers me is already history that cant be changed anyway.then there is no point in talking or expressing my feelings, when I cant change the past.that's when i think, i'd rather let the past to rest.
BUT when i decide to keep silent, i must be sure that this silence isnt keeping me from going on with my life.
otherwise whatever i feel, i just show.of course not in the same intensity to everyone- but my very close circle would know.
what you keep inside, blocked or suppressed or even just kept, could stand in your way- if not dealt with in the proper way to allow you to move forward.
only when you are not carrying any extra weight on your shoulders, you can go on with your life with the speed in the direction of your choice.
obstacles: you will find family, traditions, society and your sense or responsibility towards others coming as most important ones here.
what i might consider are family and close friends. if my talking would hurt any, then i wont.
otherwise i dont give much attention to traditions or society-as long as i am not doing anything 7aram. at the end, its my life i am trying to live according to my rules.
@ Mohaly
it is never too late to take off the mask.often its a transparent mask aslan, and its not hiding what's supposed to hide.what one tries to hide or control with face expressions or even attitude is so easly read in eyes.keeping the mask on is only wasting of time then.
and why put it on? why not being yourself?
negative feelings; let go because its only a burden.
sweet, beautiful feelings: why hide?
consquences CAN be painful, regretful, or beautiful.
CAN, is not for sure. and you will never know if you dont free them.
i still believe in setting free of my feelings, show and express them. only then i would know where i am standing and where i am heading and then decide what's teh next step.
but if i dotn dare, i will stand and stare at my feet for long, wondering what if....
hey H.A.W,
The last part of your comment brought with it a scene from my childhood.
I was in the beach with my family, and Papa asked me to go and see what the temperature of the water was like. I was 5 years old and tab3an glad to be able to help. I went to the water, I put my feet in and said “ it’s cold”! Papa picked me up and carried me down to the water. I was shocked at first, but then laughed out loud - he asked again “ how’s the water?” I said “ it’s looovely”
Last word he said in this scene “ whenever you want to find out about something, plunge straight in”
Mohaly, nothing in the world is ever completely negative and nothing is 100% beautiful, we have to take risks even in the most important area in our life... we fear pain, loss, regret, separation... So what?! 3adi life is so complicated.
if u take off the mask - consequences = 50% painful / 50% beautiful
if u take on the mask - consequences = 100% regretful
Follow the beautiful feelings and abandon the others.
I am afraid ya R & HAW that sometimes you just cant tell where does the mask end and where does your face starts!
How can you know who are the real you?!
The more u understand yourself, the more you will understand the world; and the closer you will be to the real you.
Zaman, I thought I knew what made me happy and what made me sad, then, suddenly I realised that I need to think again. But it's not easy. you know what made me change my mind, I know someone who makes me feel complete and this is where I took off the mask in order to see the good things in life.
so, Mohaly, When u feel happy this is
-------- The End --------
*Start*
@ R
same happend to me, but it wasnt my father, it was my teacher. he was the one who taught me this lesson.you will never know what chances you have until you dare to explore them.
and its true.provided you have the needed support, when you dare to explore the world, you will live.
some experiences might bring you heartbreak, but you are still a winner. you have the expereince, which ads value to your personality.
@ Mohaly
you are the only one who can tell, because you choose to put the mask on or take it off.
you choose to be yourself and show the real you, or you let otehrs push you to put the mask on.
its your decision who to be, and therefore you are teh only one who knows where ends the real face and starts the mask.
but there is one thought that might help you: whenever you feel bad and "makhnou2" this is the mask. when you are comfortable with what you are, this is the real you.
pretending and being soemone else but yourself over some time would make you feel bad and makhnou2, because you are going against your nature.
its not easy, but being yourself, you knwo where you stand when dealing with others.your path is clear infornt of your eyes, and you follow it to get to your goal destiny.
wearing the mask blurs your vision.
sorry for my late reply. the bloody ISP i am with has cut the service by mistake and it took them the whole day to fix it.
where is ibhog?
Mohaly, I think being honest with the oneself help honest with people around us and this means to express ourselves. It is not a must by talking as sometimes silence in a situation is another way expression too. On the other hand, I agree that the questions is hard but here we should ask another question: "Define the mask". Is it the one we wear to hide our personality to or you mean our feelings? I think this can help us to find better answers.
p.s. @Anonynous: ibhog can be reached at ibhog.wordpress.com
the second one ya Hicham, feelings..
BIG FATAL MISTAKE THAT IS!
الحب كالنبات .. ينمو بالإهتمام .. ويموت بالإهمال .. لا تهمل من تحب .. !ا
Mohaly.....Great post as usual.....
I think as for the mask, it will harm u by all means coz U'll get fed up with at certain point...we are surrounded by so many things that limit, hinder our way aslan , why add more?!
I guess U r just more reluctant to share how u feel....the thing about us mohaly, is that we grow...as individuals...we learn from our sadness, weakness n hurt....U have to start living life more than writing about it...to just let go & enjoy each & every step of the way...and when pain, hurt, lost hits.....find ur peace, in whatever, way u may choose...we r humans, Im sure U know what I mean......if from time to time, U made a mistake, simply acknowledge & grow.....I think , despite, what U say about wearing a mask, that U R a genuine person and u strike many as so, and they respect u.....sometimes being hard on oneself is worse than having the others being hard at u ....take it easy mohaly
Thanks Sherry, u r totally right!
I have noticed how much you're not persistent Mohaly ... and I guess the poor girl has shown you loads of sweet feelings (. . . !) therefore perhaps u r unwilling to act. Unfortunalety, men prefer us - girls - when we're hard to reach [as old-fashioned as this might sound, but believe it or not, howa keda :/] if u were interested Mohaly, u wouldnt have asked: to tell or not to tell...
We change a lot as we grow older and wiser Mohaly ... it's obvious that your beautiful and negative feelings arent even equally. u r very decent and I know, it burdens u to feel that u r causing pain to someone who did nothing to u but good stuff - bas "lel2assaf elmasha3er mesh bel3afia" - so dont blame urself and dont think about the guilt issue ... from my vision, being with a man who loves and cherishes me is so much better than being with a man who thinks he's doing me a favor by being mine.
Block her completely from ur whole life Mohaly, this will send her away forever - it's very unfriendly, I know and will give her only one message (. . .) but one day she will discover that this was the good for both of u coz u dont have enough feelings towards her and this would definitely lead to an unhappy life.
Hope things pass dear and wish u the best of all
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