-------- "This is the time for action not only words, use your God given gifts to develop this country, dont be afraid to speak up, and feel PROUD THAT U R EGYPTIAN." -------- Mohaly, Feb 2011

Saturday, March 31, 2012

817) The Revamping Generation !

I have always hated following other steps without re-thinking about why did they do it, how, and what are the other options. Although I tend to be a very organized person but I do question all traditions, systems, and norms. May be that is why till now I still can not feel fitting in our society although I have been living in Egypt for most of my life.

I feel that sometimes we do exaggerate about our traditions and put some taboos and concerns without even questioning it. You may say that is different in the new generation, I'd say yes to an extent. However,   the majority are still adoring the "group-think" style where everyone if following what is there without not even questioning is it the best thing to do or not.

That is clear on the social, cultural, and even on the economic and political levels..

On the socio-cultural level people tend to consider the traditions are sacred even if it become a show-stopper or create a bottle-neck. Check marriage and the copy and paste procedures and problems, education and its copy cats graduates, entertainment, tv programs...etc.

On the Economic level, we have this tendency of copying the success without assessing why did they succeed and is the surrounding environment and our capabilities are suitable to repeat theirs or not (you can find a whole street selling the same commodities just because one or two shops were successful at a certain point in time). Also, the tendency to save in banks and not do any investments or take risks, the tendency to buy very low quality product many times instead of buying a better durable one that have the same life span, the tendency to spend money without any balance or relativeness with income to show off (like Mobiles), or own mood (Cigs or Drugs)..etc.

Even now on the political level, people just go with the flow ... Of course people have the free right to choose and select, but do they really do? Does everyone for example selecting Abou Ismail, is really doing so because he or she are convinced of Abo Ismail and his values, vision, and strategies? I have checked all the referendums in Egypt in the last 100 years, and we never said NO, not even once.. and the highest percentage a No got was like these days last year (22.8%). The rulers of Egypt know this and always play on that line of thought.

What I wanna say is that Jan 25th Revolution has been losing on many fronts, but if we take a deeper look we can see that there is an important factor that everyone has been ignoring ... THE REVAMPING of all our norms and traditions ... The younger generations (below 40) and specially university students are coming up with different values that are much more powerful than their parents and elders... SCAF, Ekhwan, may seem winning now, but who will conquer the future.. who is leading the change .. Who will be there to witness in the first place... It is these young generations. My bet is on them, and I will be putting my effort and time in supporting my, and the younger generation to be able to lead and change this country on the medium and long terms. That is the only hope I have now after all what happened to us over the past 14 months..

Can't say I am still Optimistic as I was a year ago, but I still have a lonely hope, and I cant afford to lose  it as well.



Anonymous said...

the post is very rich and too tempting to just comment in a few sentences.

let me start with the socio-cultural stereo-types. I was one of those ppl used to call outsider, bc i had different standards to approach, plan and judge things. over the past years i recceived so many hits, more than i can cope with, from ppl i never imagined doing so. they appeared to be cultured and well-educated and of course thinking out of the box. what i discovered is that it doesnt go deep. it remains at the sufcae, but doenst penetrate into the soul for a reason i cant see till now.
what i want to say is i am not the nly one. i see some friends around who suffer from this curse of thinking differently and wanting to live their lives the way that makes them happy, but are often judged as loosers, etc. for a certain period of time u can fight, but at some times i lost the fight and hope is gone. both examples you mentioned in this regard apply on me.

on the economic level: well, i HAVE to invest the little money i saved in the bank, bc i am a female in a society that considers a "lonely" female as a very good prey to catch, steal and runoff.

on the political level, i think God damn, there is none i would elect for the President till now. Aboul Fottouh doesnt have any achievements to consider, abou ismail is a mystery till now i simply dont understand him. he soemtimes appears not-informed at all, next interview he has plans, following one he is passionate about islam but nothing in politics, then he is VERY showy with regard to his campaign, shafshak doenst exist, soliman scares the hell out of me with his dead, blank eyes, which i could never trust. moussa? ya3ni, looks like there is none else till now.

just one remark about those who tend to buy cheap things instead of durable goods: ppl simply cant afford high prices, at many times they are fooled by promises and hopes that are reapeated day and night in "kofta" television channels, and ppl just believe it bc of simple/low thinking and analyzing abilities.
often bad choice is not their fault, rather caused by very low income that necessities such behaviour.

yes, we need the revamping of all norms and traditions, lifestyle and thinking way, but this tends to happen in a slower way and over generations, so be patient.

Mohaly said...

I miss the long posts and long replies :)

I believe the socio-cultural is the root of all of the rest as it reinforces the community values that reflect later on on the economic and political scenes.

Socio-cultural traditions is a killer for me, specially that many of them are fake and just performed on the surface. I am afraid that I am getting more isolated everyday to the extent that I feel that one day I will be like a Jew in Nazy Germany.

As for the low prices, I am aware of that, but at the end of the day people pay the same amount in many low and sometimes dangerous quality stuff and never learn the lesson..

As for the political, I am afraid that I a agree with you :(

Waiting is not enough ... we have to do something and I am trying to start it .. unfortunately it only works long term coz I really dont see a short term solution.

Anonymous said...

good, at this doesnt make me feel like a talking, talking, talking person and none replies, discusses or even comments :-))))

i know the feeling, and i am actually in this phase to the extent that often i just keep silent when others talk for not to disagree all the time.

talking about quality when u just cant afford it, is a hopeless case, especially when it comes to illiterate simple ppl. tell u a story mom was telling me yesterday; our bawab asked her to keep the containers of "clorex" c she wants them, fa mom gave them to her asking her what she wants to do with them, she simple replied she wants to use them for water in fridge. mom swears she ried to convince her that this is killing for more than 20 m and she just looked at her as saying"ha, what shall i do then" mom gave her money to buy a good plastic container, so she went and got a recycled one bc it is cheaper and saved rest of the money!!!!!!!.
do you have any comments here?
same goes for almost everyone who cant afford to buy quality bc of its price as this is what they "have right now".
thanks to the gang who robbed the country over 30 years, this is what we reached.

i dont know if the socio-cultural thing is changeable any time in near future. i tried as much as i could and just gave up when i felt it is lost effort.
tayeb, let me tell u something: 3 weeks ago i went to see a "3arees" with all hostiles i have against this subject, just to get mom to give me some peace. she was very enthusiastic about him, well-educated, cultured, of same socila level, etc. brought by a friend of mine, ya3ni she would be a good judge of character. it wwas ok, we spent good time talking about politics, music, literature, etc. he promised to call me next day to see if mom agrees that we meet over weekend for lunch, and he wanted to meet her too.
10 days silence.
call to meet, his excuse was that he had to focus on his exams preparing PhD, then had to meet some deadlines at work, then wanted to check a new car, then when he finally had some time "here i am".
i replied in a calm way that thank you for the call, however i am not interested bc i dont like someone not being able to call for 2 min. to apologize for not keeping his promise, and wished him good luck wiht soemone else.
tab3an hell brokeout at home.i am too domenading, eih ya3ni, it happens, he was busy, kabbary mokhek, be patient, etc.
i am not against him being busy. i am against being ignored and taken for granted until he has time to call for 6 min.
and this happened from a mature businessman, who is almost done with PhD at the AUC, masters from mesh 3arfah eih, etc.
i am not talking about a teenager who lacks time management or not mature enough to respect his word.
what would you say here :-))))))
all i can say is i simply felt better without. there is nothing explains ignorance or lack of respect of the person who gave him part of her time, which is life that wont be back again. and i went right after work and stayed without food bc it best fit with his schedule.
i felt pissed off.
how far does this sound from the development u wish to see in socio-cultural aspect? :-)))))))))))

all i could do is not to play "ma2mousah" and told him exactely what was his mistake maybe it would emlighten him next time he is dealing with another girl. it was my way to not-curse the darkness but to light a candle.

bas keda. this is the e we are living in egy now.

Mohaly said...

I may not be as expressive as you as I tend for very short sentences so dont take my shorter answers as less important replies :)

For the bawab woman, that is exactly what I am talking about, it is not being poor, it is estekhsar even if u have money and even if u will pay for its consequences the future... To hell with any long term or consequences.... ME NOW.. ME NOW .. ME NOW..

As for the 3arees.. I cant totally not only understand, but even feel what you are talking about .. being a guy and single, and close to the description you said, I can even put myself in his shoes and know that he was not 100% telling the truth as I can bet you he was not being able to take it further and hence tried to genuiley get busy in important stuff so that he can give himself the space to think without feeling the pressure .. It is ok on one hand to have his time, but what I take against him is not being transparent enough expecially if he has already taken an inivitaive of asking you out for lunch.. he would either appologized by phone, or even come for a short lunch and be clear about what he feels or even confused about coz at this stage no one has a real solid decision.

Anyway, I cant stand arranged stuff, and I am paying for it by being so lonely but still better for me than doing it.. It is like voting for Abo-Ismail to feel like I have done eli 3alaya we khalas :)

P.S. we dont have any PhD graduate from AUC yet as we have just started the program last academic year in only some narrow fields: NanoTechnology, biotechnology, and engineering (mechanical, construction, enviromental, and electronics).

Anonymous said...

ya Doctor, being a single by choice came because I dont agree with the arranged stuff, but just go with it when mom really pushes hard.

i know he was lieing, bc he kept calling my friend afterwards to interfere and convince me.
i didnt have a final decision myself, nor expected him to have one. all i am asking for is to respect his word. bas.
which is hard enough for some ppl to understand. and this is what drives me crazy aslan. why on earth give a word that you dotn intend to keep???????????????
got my point?

i dont care about the PhD i care more about the attitude. this is what i remember he said. i could be mistaken or he could be lieing, who cares anyway :-)

its ok about the short sentences, i almost got used to your syle of writings, although it makes me feel talking toooo mmuch :-))))
sometimes i miss talking to ppl. tend to feel very lonely lately. books lelasaf dont replace ppl. but they are better companion than most around me for the time being

Mohaly said...

I got what u mean from the beginning, I was just trying to make u see the other side as well. But from our long discussions over months and years.. I can tell that u'd be more interested in more direct to the point person who knows what he wants even if it is not going with the typical norms and knows what it takes to be a man. Besides, understanding why he is getting married and the concept of partnership.

I am afraid that we are going in the wrong direction by getting more and more lonely ... I have read more than 20 books in the last 3 months and still feel lonely !

Anonymous said...

ya Docotr did you ever meet someone direct, transparent, open and to the point in Egypt?
has anyone ever approached you with a direct open statement that you can either accept or reject without dwelling iwth the words for days to understand what she wants?
wallahi you made me smile :-)
direct to the point and knowning what he wants in Egy is like wishing to marry someone looking like Tom Cruise in a country like Nigeria.

when i was young and "did not approve of someone" dad always screamed at my face: eih, do you want to marry hussein fahmy?
and my reply was always no, Abdel Halim. and none ever cared to talk to me or analyze my answer.
either mockery, pushing, rejecting or condemning.
anyway, things are just like that and there is no way out. i try to adopt myself to how ppl are for not to be disappointed everytime i deal with someone. maybe that's why i avoid getting close to anyone. ppl look at me as alien, which deepens my feeling of lonliness.
the options are: either getting hurt, pissed off, disappointed
books and internet, magazines, online articles and newspapers are my world now.
but elhamdollah that we have books, imagination and a hope for anything to change, as long as Allah's hand directs our lives. :-)

shoft elmahzala beta3et el shater?
they drive me nuts!!!
do politicians have to be liars?

Mohaly said...

yes I did see them, and I am proud to be that person among some of my very close circle friends are (Sherif Saleh, Mohamed El Ammawy, and others)
but I admit that is minor minority in Egypt.

Better to live single and lonely than married to the wrong person.

as for el mahzala yes, and rumors that Omar Soliman will be the counter mahzala in response !!!

politicians dont have to be liars but they cant be direct or blunt.

Anonymous said...

yes,better alf marrah to remain single.that's why i am a devoted single, as my friends call me :-)

x said...

i have a question outside the post, mohaly. maybe it can be a post itself

Why do men have a heart of stone? why when they break up with their fiances or whatever, they act normally and they easily resume their life?

Mohaly said...

Dear X (name?)

It is not mainly about men or women, it is more about the personality itself .. May be men are more practical that is why work and life challenges absorbs the negative energy ..
but that doesnt apply on all men, some men really get hurt.

In all cases X, why the hell do u care about how does he lead his life if u decided to have different paths..

Anonymous said...

soliman is officially out. Abou ismail a very big mystery more and more.
What i fear is someone crueler than him????? Or is it a trap to beg them to save us from isamist, then its only elmoshir?????

Mohaly said...

Speechless ... & Waiting

Anonymous said...

me too. but add to speechlessness a cautious fear and a feeling of deception that i can not ignore.

x said...

Well, it wasnot me, it was him. two days b4 our wedding

x said...

sorry for bothering u, but i came across ur blog and was v much interested in ur posts, esp in those on marriage and relationships and thought u might have an answer.

Mohaly said...

sorry to hear that X ..

my friend Marwa Rakha is specialized in that check her at http://marwarakha.com/

Anonymous said...

dear x,
Even if the decision was 'only' from his side, while appearantly u wanted it to last, this decision actually applies on both of u. Anyway, case is closed now,especially bc of the time he took it.
Dear, move on and live ur life. I sure understand how hurting this must be.but it is over anyway, there is no back, only the road ahead is open, so grab the new chance u r given and open up ur window for the sunshine to fill ur soul again.
Ma3lesh, if it didnt work out,afterall it is in god's hand.be patient and posiive that allah has something suitable for u. He went on with his life, bc appearently he didnt love u as much as u do.
Go ahead, try to find ur real path and enjoy the journey till u find ur happiness, soon isA.

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