-------- "This is the time for action not only words, use your God given gifts to develop this country, dont be afraid to speak up, and feel PROUD THAT U R EGYPTIAN." -------- Mohaly, Feb 2011

Thursday, June 25, 2009

572) Personal ::: Khabteteen fel Ras!

sweet messages
nice emails
care and interest
from 1 side..

too much care..
daily asking..
from 1 side.

no not the same person..

one day both of them confessed that they love me!!
I have never said or made any signs to any, how come? and both on the same day!

What did I do wrong?



E N G Y said...

Guys do a fetal mistake.

May be they do not take an action, make a promise or show a sign , but they receive happily and silently!..They show no rejection.

While girls (the majority as every rule has an exceptions) , if they are not into the guy, they will show the “keep-away” face, they will start being rude, the more the guy take a step forward, the more they take 10 steps back and sometimes become rude and ruder to make him understand that she doesn’t care.

And as this is how girls act and think, they expect the same from the guy.

So being silent may be gave them a misleading message.

Shimaa Gamal said...

Maybe they are young, or didn't hear of the rule never ever offer your feelings to a man :)

I agree with Engy, probably you weren't clear enough. "el sekoot 3alamet el reda". Along many little things men do. A girl will probably interpret a smile that you give to everyone as a sign.

I guess you could have seen this coming. You mentioned they showed care, so probably you should have showed dis-interest. You should have answered the calls, never replied the mails .... etc.

bas mashya ma3ak ya Mohaly ;) el fe2y lama yes3ad :))))

Mohaly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mohaly said...

but girls, I used to always answer late (sometimes after 2 days), very short and non-passionate answers. If I were interested I wouldn't have done that.

I rude can't be rude as Engy's theory, I may show that "ma3andeesh e7sas"" but rude, that is too much for me.

Mohaly said...

shamiaa: wala yes3ad wala 7aga, it burdens me to feel that I am causing pain to someone who did nothing to me but good stuff (although I feel trapped).

Ola said...

I hope that the poor girls know nothing about your blog!! Otherwise it will be another problem added to yours:)
Any way, it happens a lot & you will apologize in a decent way, but please don't feel sorry because no matter how decent you are, you will hurt them:(

mary jacoub said...

Mohaly as i told you before you didn't do anything wrong...
all what is it about is that you can control ur feeling but you can't control others,you really didn't make any signs,but they didn't want any signs they just felt love towards you don't blame urself or them for anything..

Shimaa Gamal said...

I agree with Mary, you don't have to blame yourself. As long as you didn't give them any sign of attraction fa it is the way they will learn that their feelings are too precious to be thrown away.
You are not causing them pain, I know I will sound heart-less now but love is a mutual thing. I don't believe in one sided love, I believe in one sided attraction. They felt attracted to you for a reason. And simply you are not attracted to any of them.
It happens all the time.

E N G Y said...

I know it's hard for a guy to be rude with girls, I understand that guys take care more not to hurt girls' feelings w keda, they behave in a gentle way, and girls interpret this the way the wish!!:)
Don't feel sorry, you did nothing to them, and as Shamaa said this wasn't love, this was attraction, so no harm.
But next time ,if you are not interested and you feel something abnormal from the girl, don't answer the call in 2 days, don't answer it aslan!!:)
Take it easy!

Nerro said...

Well, I totally agree with everyone in terms of the guilt issue, you haven't done anything wrong neither did they.

Now your post triggered a very important point that have always puzzled me. Why women aren't supposed to speak their hearts out when they feel? why aren't they supposed to take a first step towards what they think is good is good for them? Ya3ni, we always talk about freedom of expression, liberty, and kalam kebeer awi. yet when a lady decides she is in love, a communal verdict is instantaneously issued against her...leih? What's wrong with taking chances and refusing to go through the what if scenarios.

Ya3ni we accept the fact that pets or even stray dogs or cats approach us for a moment of connection and intimacy, we embrace them or show content.

While when a human being offers it we think she is throwing away her emotions as Shaimaa put it.

P.S: I am just thinking out loud as this issue really bugs me. and what bugs me more is that a lot of women don't believe in their feelings.

Omar Rostom said...

I dont know why are u troubling yourself.. some girls are so romantic and living an illusion. I know Mohaly, u r nice to everyone, and some girls have bad experiences and when they find someone treating them nicely, they get it wrong or convince themselves that is kind of love.

just be yourself and dont care much.

Anonymous said...

Mohaly Mo7attem Qoloob el 3azara :D

Nerro: As much as it bugs me too el mawdoo3 dah, bass essara7a, I believe that the best thing a girl can do is give subtle or implicit positive signs, bass men are hunters and they don't like the privilege of the first move to be taken away from them! Men like to hunt and win. Very simple.Very Annoying :D

Hicham said...

I've to apologise, Mohaly because my comment probably will not add any something to help you however I am always wondering about the complexity of human nature either being men or women.

Hereby I think the best way to end this comment is quoting Sha'bolla: W Eaaah

D said...

1-u did nothing wrong Mohaly

2- Mashya ma3ak ya 3am 2confession of love/Day WOW thats a record keep it up !

3- whats wrong with u girls to my knowledge men take the 1st step or "el donia etghayaret" !!

Miss Egyptiana "Trapped Soul" said...

you didnt do anything wrong ... but

- u feel guilty
- you keep thinking on what you did that may ever seem a hint of interest
- you feel sad for the broken heart
- and sad for yourself cause you cant respond

yeah you didnt do anything.. you cant blame yourself

but you will
and you will never feel peace with yourself regarding those girls ... unless you know they are happy with someone else

it is terrible to be loved while you cant respond

hope things pass dear ... ok ... i will say it one last time .. dont blame yourself .. still i know that you will

have a good day

merhan said...

Mohaly,unless u have sent them wrong signals to encourge them to further the relation then u shouldnot feel guilty and since i feel i know u really well now i think u didn't.
i only wonder since when girls are hunting men not the reverse ?
Omar i really like your comment it is very obvious that u know mohaly really well.

H.A.W. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
H.A.W. said...

hi all
Mohaly, there is nothing to blame yourself for. the only thing you CAN NOT fake is your feeling towards soemone. it will show, sooner or later that you dont care. fa, sooner is better than later. to cut short a painful memory.
whatever their feelings are for you, if true or just imagined, you cant blame yourself for not returning it. its out of control, so dont try to control it or lead it. be yourself, remain the same kind, respectful person you are, and things will pass.

now, i agree with Nero's point of view. why is it "bad" for a girl to show she cares, if she really does? why cant she be honest to herself and to the "one"? why cant she look for her happiness? should she "wait" for someone to care for her? like "kom el ham"??????

Shimaa Gamal said...

It is not really about a girl or a boy. None should throw away their feelings.
For example, in the case of the two girls Mohaly mentioned. They both did the lethal mistake of expecting that telling someone that they love 'em this will directly make 'em fall for them.

This goes too to a man. People give signs of attraction. People flirt, show care. And when this care and flirting is mutual, the deal will be sealed. It won't need someone going up to someone saying "I love you" while in doubt of the other's feelings.

No one should throw their feelings away.

H.A.W. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nerro said...

If you don't mind ya Mohaly... can I take the discussion from here in my next podcast!!

Mohaly said...

sure Nerro, and you can link to it.

A person said...

Hi Nerro.....Hi Mohaly
I heard Nerro Broadcast and I have a different point of view about "her theory of expression"...it is no way like a pet ya nerro coz we r humans, humans with feelings and layers of emotional associations , so we are far complicated than petting on a cat!
I believe, however, that each relationship has oits own rhythm,circumstances...women could initiate an expression of love, as men could......depending on the right context.....coz we are humans, persons
Remember Julia Robers' in "Notting hell"...she was an actress, famous, she could get anyone....it was her choice to come closer and though he reacted weirdly in the beginning...it was their beignning....
I think what u are referring to is " stereotypes"...who said we can do this or that? in this you are right....my statement is men and women should be cautious when dealing with each other not to send "misleading sms"....yet, I have to admit mohaly, sometimes it happens, that ppl fall for someone with no signs at all....however, you are not trapped.....you could act as u didn't hear, or read anything....its her choice to express, u r free to express or not!
Good Luck :)

Nerro said...

well, I totally agree that humans are definitely more complicated..it was only an example on how inconsistent we (humans) get sometimes :D

Anonymous said...

i know dear.....nice point to raise :)

Mohaly said...

well said "a person", thank u :)

a person said...

most welcome....

MariannE_N said...

Ok I must be late :-) and I don't know if you will have a notification that someone commented on an old post or not :-) Anyways hopefully you will recieve it. I have to mention something, these girls might have seen something in you that they "miss" in their life. For example one of them see you as a "symbol" of being genius, the other really loves the way you interact with the society (I am assuming) you can help them out by facing them with the true idea they have about you like "hey, this is not love, this is just a simple attraction. C'mon girl don't mix them up together"
I don't mean to say it in a "mean" way, just help them and explain it to them :-)

Anonymous said...

Ya Mo7attem Qoloob ya Mohaly...EXCEPT MINE ;)

Anonymous said...

(Age, Ay Kalam) = just numbers
(Being Yourself, Contradictions )= this is you ya Mohaly
(Freedom, Life, )Mohaly can't resist life without freedom
(love , Mohaly, newyear) = Starting new year with new love
الايام بيننا ... ان غدا لناظره قريب قريب قريب