246) Marriage in the 21st century!!

My friend Aly has written the following note, and I have commented below...I wanted to share it with you coz i see it worth discussing...

Since i get so many personal questions asking "why i didn't get married yet ?" , I decided to write this note. I am going to post my personal opinion about relations; anti opinions are most welcomed. A reminder that is just a general opinion nothing personal for me or any of my friends !!! To start with, nowadays, many relations end up to be unsuccessful either before marriage or after. No offense, in most of the cases i feel the blame comes from the girl's side. I would classify girls into four different categories:1) Girls that are after money rather than real love although they are already living in a good standard (for me those r z cheapest kind) ....the main concern of that kind of girls is to marry a rich guy that could provide a nice comfortable life. That kind of girl tries to trap a rich guy to marry her , and on the other hand , the rich guy tries to trap her for SEX .......the relation is clear : he puts money to get what he wants and she tries hard not to give him what he wants until after marriage .......but where is z love .....not found of course !!! If he succeed in getting what he wants z relations ends up in a short period; however, if she succeeds the relation ends up after marriage which is more disaster. The end result is well expected because the relation was built on wrong basis from z beginning ( such relations are good example of prostitution on a higher level ) the guy thinks about it with a total sexual perspective……..I want her for sex if I can’t have her before than I will after ……..the girl thinks about it in a financial perspective……..I want a nice comfortable secure life with a rich guy …….no darling that is a false secure life !!!! P.S. Girls of that kind have a very demanding personality 2) Girls that have a main aim to just get married to a nice guy to have family. In that case, girls look for marriage regardless of love ……that kind of girls are mainly the non outgoing ones ……mostly they get married through arranged family or friends gathering …… I believe that is a 50 : 50 kind of marriage because normally it takes almost a year or year and half in an engagement process and stuff like that ……they don’t get to know each other well enough !!! As early mentioned, girls that are non outgoing or girls that are in the late 20s and early thirties tend to use this way. Again, here love is not a main factor; so successful marriage is not fully guaranteed as well!!! 3) Here comes the third kind …..this kind holds the majority of the high level society …..girls who r really well educated, smart, represent able and good looking ; they are really good fish to catch but their main problem is they think they r too good!!! This kind of girls look for fun and if love comes through the way it is ok if not then life is all about fun fun fun !!! That kind of girls are the outgoing ones with loads of life experience since they get too many guys around who try to approach …….the problem is they start to like it that way …….no commitment, guys are trying to approach, having fun life ..so why bother to be committed to just one guy unless he is too good ………and since the girl thinks she is already too good then it is too hard for her to see that too good guy as well although many of them are around !!! Girls in that case wait wait wait until they reach the thirties and then shift to case 2 (arranged marriage) ……Later on , they discover that they already lost good opportunities of good guys when the girl was in the mid twenties !!!4) The final category is the moderate girls which are very rare to find these days ……that kind of girls are similar to the ones in Case 3 except for the fact that if a guy takes a step or a couple of steps forward and they find out that he is a nice guy ….they also tend to give a chance to know z guy ……in other words, they move a step forward as well…….this kind of girls when they love someone they truly love …….That kind of girls are mostly found in south Europe …..also u can find them here in Egypt but they are not that much !!! For that kind of girls, as long as love exists and the guy is good in bed ……..and life is going smooth then they r really satisfied and thankful !!! they truly know the meaning of a man cuz z relation was based on love to start with !!! ……..My advise to Case 3 try to think positive before it is too late …..Hope it was not a boring note and as I mentioned earlier it is just about opinions …..ofcourse there is problems in guys as well !!! I would try to post it in another note later on ………to all my friends feel free to post yr opinions :)

My comment:
oh...i guess marriage in the 21st century is one of the major problems...it is unfair to categorize girls without counter categorization of guys who are moderate, greedy, just fooling around....etc as well.
I see marriage is a partnership that should be based on a common vision even if the partners follow different approaches. I mean if we both see the same mission, goals, and values in our marriage and the result of our union is bigger than the sum of each of us alone, then we are a perfect match even if we have different ways of reaching the goals, it is actually even better to have these differences to enrich the relation.
Whether you are a guy or a girl, the biggest mistake is to get married for the sake of getting married...u wont be able to sustain the marriage at one point or another coz u dont have the driving vision.
I am really longing to start a family, but if i dont find the right girl who share with me my vision and values, then i will not get married!
Mohaly