I do always like to help my friends, students, readers, colleagues, to get through their problems, and do my best to give them the right piece of advice. Thank God it always works even though sometimes I am sure 100% it will. However, year after year, I started feeling that I am finding trouble in thinking, analysing and taking all my decisions myself till I have reached a point during the past couple of weeks that I can't take it anymore.. I need a mentor, reference, someone I can trust his/her opinion and knows me well to give me a sincere advice.Bab El Naggar Mekhala3 .... is the phrase that pops into my mind many times during the past weeks. I can help the people and succeed, and can't do it for myself anymore!
Mohaly
14 comments:
Saba7 el kheir Mohaly. It is the first time I comment a post!
It happens to all of us, because we are all human. You help and need help! The problem is not the feeling you need support, the problem is who will support. By the way it can be someone not close to you or you deal with for the first time. Believe it, it happened to me. I was in problem, very sad, confused, not able to understand what is going on. The one who helped was the last one I thought I can talk with! And I am feeling better now.
However you need help or not, you will still Mohaly el gamed awy :)
That always happens everywhere, I see that you need to talk a rest and think deeply what do you really want.
Thank You Sally, and it shouldnt be the last time :))
Anonymous, kindly right ur name. I did take a rest and I know what I really want, but this doesnt deny the fact that I need a mentor, may be I miss my father as he has passed away since I was in college and no one could fill his place or even half of it.
Who is the person you get used to ask for advice after your father's death? There must be someone in your life. No one can fill the place of our parents, and no advice is precious as their one but at least to have someone who can listen and understand you
Mother in the beginning then no one.
Don't we Aquarius hate it when we are in capable of making our own decisions while giving advice to people all around. we tend to help and forget ourselves in the process.
My question to you is, with all this big social human and virtual network, you don't have the so called trusted friends you can ask for their advice? Sometimes you have to ask for it, because people can't sense the need unless you show it. I'm sure plenty will be happy to help out and return the favor.
there is but one for each point, and i hate to ask... i was talking about one mentor reference.
Sometimes we need someone to give us a hand..
Mohaly, why not to try to ask for help?
It worth, to get out of this bad mode..
I am not in a bad mood khales..bel3aks I am much much better now :)
Not only you ya mohaly, all of us have the same feeling because if we have some personal problems we are seeking motivation from others to take the decision and we need someone who can give us this support.
from my point of view there are many reasons for that.
- we don’t like to be the only one who is responsible to take the decision.
- we act as a human being emotionally towards everything in our life especially with our problems. and once the problem reaches us it will be automaticly linked with our emotions,3lashan keda mosh ben2dar ne7l mashakelna.
- facing some challenges that drive us to change our decision to satisfy others. el shakosh we el bab wel mosmar.
- we are in a zone that the full picture is not clear for us and the others can see something which we can't. 3lashan keda lazem to ask for help.
But When we are giving others advices it will be from our logical and practical view. As you mentioned you have succeeded to solve the problems of others, this is because your advices and decisions was based on logic which are often right.
it is not necessary for the one who give you motivation and help you to take the decision and solve your problem to be very near and know you well, that one has to be honest, good listener , discuss and advise using the logical and practical thinking. sada2ny sometime works.
by the way, i can be the one who you can trust. i am a good listener, can discuss but i don't know you very well, could you give me this chance. momken te3tamed 3alya ya3ny.
what makes it even worse is when all the people around u, includin those u gave advice to, are way behind ur thinking/feelings.. even when u talk to any, they'll always have this in mind "akeed you know more, danta ely bet7elelna mashakelna"..
find a person who didnt ask for ur advice, cuz mayb u'll be to him like ur "advice-seekers" are to u.. I tried this, n IT WORKED ;)
He is gone.. but your special relation remains alive.. whenever you need his advice, you'll hear his voice.. and whenever you feel 2eno you are in a real need to his presence, you'll find the same energy he used to give you and which, in difficult times helped you to confront any trouble, situation, or decision... Since love remains alive, fa the positive energy remains, even though he is in a different place - baba Aly 7ases bik.. I'm sure :)
Dear Mohamed :)
When you keep on helping people, giving them advices, support, care, etc... and you don't ask for the same, people around you perceive you as a giver ONLY, they didn't get a chance to share with you what you need .. and I'm sure they will be VERY happy if you asked them for help or even for listening ... time for a change? ;)
This is normal, we are all creative , whole and resourceful. However, when we are in a stuck state we get blinded by our own emotions and personal evolvement in the issue or challenge. This requires support from others to gain new perspective, or time to settle down and have this Meta view of events on your own ( which is time consuming). Steven covey elaborated more on the subject while discussing the concept of independence versus. nterdependence,
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