-------- "This is the time for action not only words, use your God given gifts to develop this country, dont be afraid to speak up, and feel PROUD THAT U R EGYPTIAN." -------- Mohaly, Feb 2011

Sunday, October 31, 2010

727) House Wife ... Get a Life !

I wonder why do some women consider their husbands literally everything in their lives. Their whole life starts and ends with and at their men! I am not against house-wives but against the woman who doesn't have anything in her life but her man..

I think the wife should share, help, please... her man, but she should have her own activities (other than house duties) whether as at work or just for fun. I think this is even better for the man who will not be taking her for granted, and it will boost her self-confidence.

One of my female friends was telling me that she has to be involved in everything in her husband's life so that he wont be used to doing anything alone!!! Why, this makes men trapped and gets an opposite effect.

To all house-wives... Would you get a life?

What do you think?

Mohaly

11 comments:

Brownie said...

I was just talking to a friend about the same matter, he is thinking that wife should obey her husband in everything and he should has the final decision as he is the leader..I disagree with him coz my husband should my partner not my boss kaman it is not a matter of equality btw woman and man, as much it is a human with dreams and ambitions.

BaTaBeeT said...

I totally agree with you...

yet I can bet you that when you are a husband, you would prefer having a house-wife more than having a woman with career and friends...

Gosh ! I never wana get married :D

Sue said...

TOTALLY AGREE!! A man and his wife are two separate entities...They are life partners, they help each other in the journey of life and they make it better and more enjoyable together. However, they do not complete each other in the sense that each of them is a whole entity with dreams and ambitions that they want to fulfill..And being together does not mean and should not mean that either of them should give up on their dreams, but rather hold on to them, and know that this life-long partner is there to support and help them, but not take their ambitions away...Mohaly, I wish all men think the way you do!!!!! Life then would have been so much better....

Mohaly said...

do u think so.. I think men who think differently are more happy.. but I just cant be except myself and think this way.

Sue said...

I definitely think so, and I don't think that you'll be happy if you think in any other way, cause simply as you just said, it's not yourself...And there are women who think like typical housewives who want nothing but to stay at home and that's all to life, and yeah, it's easier when I come to think of it, but I will never be happy cause we are supposed to have a mission in life than just staying at home...And saying that doesn't mean that staying at home to raise the kids is not something of great responsibility and importance, it's just can't be the only thing a woman does in life...She has to contribute something to the society, and she has to set a role model for her kids when they see that she's doing something beneficial beside her work at home...

Nouna said...

"وكذلك جعلناكم أمة وسطا"

ّI believe 2eno everything/quality taken to extremes, becomes a weakness..

Can't deny 2eno it's very healthy for a woman (& for the relationship as well) to have her own personality, activities, achievements, dreams, career... but what if she is only concerned about her needs -she is me & only me- will definitely be selfish wife who will never put you or your kids first; you will be always the last in her list of priorities.

It's also good if she is an outgoing person, has her friends O keda ... but what if she never stays at home O her going out and social life are always her main concern!

Well, what I want to say 2eno 2 partners are not 2 enemies, it's not a competition. and it is not about what she wants and what he wants. It's about what he wants for both of them coz he is the leader indeed.

I just imagine, if I met someone, and married him, and he lived in a place I don't mind living in such as London, Singapore or Alexandria... and then, suddenly, something happened and he had to move to not such a nice place... Am I saying that I wouldn't go with him?
... That is what marriage is, sacrifice and compromise. and a woman belongs to her husband.

My experience tells me that no matter how free-minded the man is about women, he really likes to be Si-Elsayed fe beto, but this doesn't mean 2eno he likes his wife to be like Amina.

Something very important to be always remembered: Everyone needs his/her space.

I wish peace and happiness on everyone :)

Mohaly said...

Yes se el sayed is needed in context of leadership where responsibility and caring is involved, but se el sayed just because he is a man is not right too.

ibhog said...

I agree with Rawanie. I would even go farther and profess how strongly I believe in that 'belonging' concept. A happy marriage is one where the wife simply belongs with her husband; and being in love isn't different from considering the man her whole life.

She's his home. He's her wall. She might paint him with a shade or two; but at the end of the day, he's the captain.

Women nowadays need a wall without wanting to be anyone's home.

Hence, the problem of our entire generation.

And that's not something new to say; historical wisdom, religion and the majority of successful marriages, not to mention; our nature and instincts, preach the same.

Shabib said...

Comment from a wife has her own life:)

a very high percentage of men are so selfish ...they believe in privacy but it is only applicable on them not their partners his "girl friend, fiancee or wife ...

if a woman tried to have her own life away from being wife most of men will not consider this and will consider it a wasted time .."beetek awla bel wa2t da" te3mely akla teshta3'aly mafrash ...!!

and believe or not i've heard this from different men from different social backgrounds...

kam wa7ed ba2a fe Masr mo5talef?

the answer is : The Egyptian who brought up out of Egypt ;)

Sue said...

Ibhog, why can't we say that a husband and a wife belong together, and not a wife belongs inside the walls of her husband's home?? Why is it so difficult for some men to acknowledge that a wife is also a human being who has dreams and ambitions of her own and she wants to fulfill them? Why should she always, just because she is a female, be forced into the role of staying at home and not be a part of an active society once she's married? What is the logic in that? Why should this role, set a long time ago by ancient society that had its own conformities be applied today in a modern society where this would be against the nature of our everyday modern life? Why do some men want women in general and not necessarily their wives be controlled, mentally belittled and marginalized?

Even if you are looking at it from a religious point of view, cause it seems to be some men's last resort, Islam never disencouraged women from working. Women used to work and go out to help during wars, etc.... Yes, Women have to take their husbands permission and they have to agree, but that does not mean that they should not work or live their lives individualistically. And that I think is where all the problems arise, men not acknowleding this creates this controversy between men and women, and the never ending argument about the difference between the roles of men and the roles of women. This is because men are raised to believe in certain tasks that women should do and they expect a specific pattern of behaviour from their wives. And when a woman doesn't fulfill those tasks or put on this behaviour to the book, she is a liberated person and a feminist!

I like to believe modesty is the key to solving this man-woman/husband-wife problem. Modesty in everything they do, both of them, cause some women because of the restrictions of society and because of wanting to break free, have taken things to extremes, which again is not an answer to any of our problems.

Asmaa_a said...

I couldn't agree more with what you have said, unfortunately many Egyptian men think the opposite way, I don't know if it;s out of jealousy or is something else, but is unacceptable for them that theirs wives would decide to not involve them is some activities of theirs life's. It's true that after marriages the two different persons are suppose to become one, but not in all possible ways, I don't agree with the idea of shaping my life over my husband's, interacting only with the same person nearly everyday brings monotony and monotony is the sure death of every marriage, is the death of passion, the death of conversation. It's awful hearing from my married friends the words" wait I need to call and check on my husband" what's the deal woman he's at work and he will be there for the next 5 hours let him miss you, he will call you if he needs anything, just the idea of becoming one of those women freak me out, i would rather stay single for ever then do nothing but cooking, cleaning, and check on my husband.
Mohaly you could make a special class for married women to teach them how the mind of a man usually works, the rate of divorce will get lower, hopefully