If I asked you : Do you really love your mother? Most probably you gonna say: Of course, are you kidding me, who doesn't?! However, if I asked a lot of Egyptians who are in their 30s or even late 20s, and still living with their mothers about the obstacles they are facing or the people whom they cant really communicate with, you will find them answering: "Of course my mother, are you kidding me, who doesn't?" and here comes the dilemma :)
The problem is that at a certain age or stage of life, we start feeling that we and our mothers are living in the same place but in a different dimension where even words have different meaning and interpretation for each. The challenge or the inner fight comes because we do love our mothers so much for all what they did and still doing for us, but at the same time we feel the extreme need for independence and being in full control of our decision regardless of how other people will see it (and that is something mothers do care a lot about ... الناس هاتقول إيه).
Although I don't have a certain solution for such problem, but let's agree on some of the facts
- They love us more than we love ourselves.
- They are trying to do what they think will make us happy.
- They rarely listen to us.
- They do listen to others a lot.
- They wont change no matter what.
- They need our love and care at this stage as much as we need it from them or even more.
Hence, I guess the way out is:
- To give them extreme care and love, all the time.
- Avoid debating about minor stuff that will just waste energy and time.
- Talk with them about one topic at a time without revealing differences as much as pointing out similarities.
- Focusing on end results -that may be common- rather than the process -that may be controversial.
- Make them feel that we still need them a lot and they can count on us at the same time..
- If you can afford, move out till you get married (if you will ever do).
God bless our mothers, and give us the patience to keep them satisfied..