-------- "This is the time for action not only words, use your God given gifts to develop this country, dont be afraid to speak up, and feel PROUD THAT U R EGYPTIAN." -------- Mohaly, Feb 2011

Saturday, July 20, 2013

854) We, Mothers, and Others !!

If I asked you : Do you really love your mother? Most probably you gonna say: Of course, are you kidding me, who doesn't?! However, if I asked a lot of Egyptians who are in their 30s or even late 20s, and still living with their mothers about the obstacles they are facing or the people whom they cant really communicate with, you will find them answering: "Of course my mother, are you kidding me, who doesn't?" and here comes the dilemma :)


The problem is that at a certain age or stage of life, we start feeling that we and our mothers are living in the same place but in a different dimension where even words have different meaning and interpretation for each. The challenge or the inner fight comes because we do love our mothers so much for all what they did and still doing for us, but at the same time we feel the extreme need for independence and being in full control of our decision regardless of how other people will see it (and that is something mothers do care a lot about ... الناس هاتقول إيه).

Although I don't have a certain solution for such problem, but let's agree on some of the facts 
about Mothers:

  • They love us more than we love ourselves.
  • They are trying to do what they think will make us happy.
  • They rarely listen to us.
  • They do listen to others a lot.
  • They wont change no matter what.
  • They need our love and care at this stage as much as we need it from them or even more.
Hence, I guess the way out is:

  • To give them extreme care and love, all the time.
  • Avoid debating about minor stuff that will just waste energy and time.
  • Talk with them about one topic at a time without revealing differences as much as pointing out similarities.
  • Focusing on end results -that may be common- rather than the process -that may be controversial.
  • Make them feel that we still need them a lot and they can count on us at the same time..
  • If you can afford, move out till you get married (if you will ever do).
God bless our mothers, and give us the patience to keep them satisfied..

M.O.H.@.L.Y

15 comments:

NAMES said...

brilliant post

Mohaly said...

Thank You.

Maryam said...

Happy and blessed Ramadan to all of you here :-)

just adding to your tips 2 I follow and they help:

- If you can switch your mind to the "hibernate status" during a "conversation". it helps a lot.
- don't focus much on the literal meaning of words and things will look better afterwards.

Glad the post isn't about politics.

Mohaly said...

Ramadan Kareem ya Maryam..

These two tips are very much targeting sons rather than daughters :)

Maryam said...

La2 we7yatak i apply them for many years now. sometimes they work sometimes i am not lucky enough and hell goes on. Bas 3adi one gets used as time passes.still, they are mothers n want our best from their point of view.
Being the only daughter left at home is horrible but i appreciate her as long as she lives.

Mohaly said...

و الله ليكى وحشة يا مريم :)

Maryam said...

ما هو حضرتك اللي كنت مختفي :-)
يعني كتبت حاجة وانا ما رديتش مثﻻ يعني مثﻻ؟؟؟؟

Mohaly said...

lool ...

Sohad said...

والله زمان :) علي فكرة انتم صحبتي الآمنة في الحياة دي . انا قربت اتجنن من بقية الناس

Mohaly said...

We are glad that we are ya Sohad :)

Sohad said...

I have a suggestion to add on your way out is to have fun with mothers..try to find a common interest or just do it for be sake of spending quality time as friends..go out for coffee, movies, concerts, weekend fee 2ay 7etta. Even if you will go out of your way " out of ber el waledeen ". At the end mothers are ladies and the need/deserve to be treated as such.

Mohaly said...

That is a good one, but does it go with Daughters too?

Sohad said...

Akeed

Sohad said...

Bas ma3 el banat el 2om bet7eb te7es enaha lessa sa7bet bentaha.. Wee 2n she enjoys her company. Mesh betfadal 2as7abha 3aleeha.
E7na daiman bena7'od our parents for granted 3'asb 3anena.

Maryam said...

Fully agree with Sohad's words. We have been doing that with mom for years now and she loves it. Just lunch somewhere makes a big difference. She appreciates the gesture although its always a "no" first. I take her to Ain Sokhna for weekend n she loves it. Being alone has devekoped a bound between us. I leave her to wstch her talk shows n read in my room.otherwise as long as i am home we talk about many things. When the storm breaks we both miss this atmosphere very much.
She doesn't give up