-------- "This is the time for action not only words, use your God given gifts to develop this country, dont be afraid to speak up, and feel PROUD THAT U R EGYPTIAN." -------- Mohaly, Feb 2011

Saturday, May 25, 2013

852) I just wanna Leave !

I just wanna leave ...

Leave What? I don't know ..
To where? I don't know ..
By when? I don't know ..
And How? I don't know ..

I just wanna leave ..

Life or Place .. I don't know
Sooner or Later .. I don't know
Near or Far .. I don't know
Easy or Hard .. I don't know

I just wanna leave ...

M.O.H.@.L.Y

58 comments:

NAMES said...

I beg you don't, I know you are in a tough situation and I know exactly how you feel, you just want to run away and leave everything that is wrong with your life but remember that there are people out there that are in worse situations than you, I'm sure you don't need to be told. I'm just trying to get you to calm down and think ...just give yourself enough time to reflect...isn't there anything that you still want to do?? Do you remember your post 251) The Closed Loop! you mentioned that "should we stay in Egypt and develop it or should we leave till it is better, and if we left how will it be better without the good people and good minds who left"

Mohaly, life is ups & downs and is worth living... you are a sort of people who have faith in life and we know you are very strong we always learn from you...again and again and again i have no doubt about your abilities to overcome all obstacles ..... you have alot of things to do and live for.. you have "mission" in your life. you have "friends" who give you care and love you and they are ready to hold your hand and give you the support you need and if you see they are helpless and cannot handle the situation with you so go to a psychological. Seriously go and get help for the sake of yourself not anybody else and put your trust in Allah that everything will be fine.

In this holy hour May Allah gives you the strength you need to overcome this hard time.

Sohad Tawakol said...

Saba7 el 7'air wel Hanna 3al mawgodeen hena :))
Hmmm I can tell where the issue is coming from and el mawdo3 baseet ya asma2 mesh azma 7'ames!
Mohaly needs a huge sadness filter zay filter el maya abo 5 mara7el keda :))
No one as a matter of fact can stay positive all the time, even if it's part of the person life mission, and it's hard to absorb the idea or be told to remain so while feeling sad or when apathy knock the door..I say at times I need to hit the bottom in order to kick the ground and surface again .. The thing is what are the tools and resources we have in hand to navigate the sadness sea.. Explore what's in it! This is not an invitation to remain in such state.. It's an invitation to explore what's in it for you to know .. In each encounter there is something to do or learn there is a wisdom and a lesson! Fee stage ba2a kaman after this one is to enjoy life as is to enjoy even difficult times! .
" we could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world" Helen Keller.

Sohad Tawakol said...

You should leave to city stars intercontinental Spa, by 10 am today ... Bee Taxi ... Baseeta Ahee ;))

Lubna said...

Good morning my dear friends…..

I agree with you Sohad on the part about sadness.

Lately I have come to notice that it is all connected to one thing : Being in Balance with oneself n the surrounding environment….oh yea, what a challenge !

I have reached to a liberating equation that helped me set my mind, heart and soul free from all…. my own version of Eat, Pray, Love:

Spiritual , Nature, Selected human contact

When you are totally sad n life gets complicated, painful or even unbearable, it is time to elevate Spiritually…it means physical actions of others n yourself is consuming part of your soul or imprisoning your emotion and spirit….to set free, you need to dive internally n get in touch with your soul through any form that brings peace to ur inner self….it cud vary between gazing n meditating about khalk Allah (nature: sea, desert, horses, birds) and doing salaht el fagr n praying for serenity from Allah…..
Taking deep breathes in meditation n repeating them make oneself feel connected internally n full from within and the combination of meditation with usinf Names of Allah like al Salam on Crwon Chakra brings a peaceful aura around the person .....and it feels like Allah is wrapping your heart within n healing it from whatever you are going through.....

Then comes the role of Nature, in order to your spiritual journey to complete, you need to think only of the greatness and beauty created by Allah. It varies again between escaping for an hour or two and having a floka in the Nile or going some place green or taking few days off n heading to desert or sea……

Third ,last but not least ….we do need the contact of our selected humans…..the ones who seem to silently understand n relate to us with least efforts. I can't stop thinking about that quote of Gamal el Ghitany : كنت أجد في سكوتنا ما لا أجده في ضجيج حواراتي مع الآخري
It is very rare that people communicate through minds n hearts and transcend any uttered words…..such communication seems to complete the circle n help us balance from within after being connected with inner self spiritually and with the Universe and Allah through nature, connecting to very close ones seems to enlighten n strengthen us from within n bring us back to life. It is another liberating level being free with someone else….

After all such phases comes another phase of enjoying some music and may be dancing as well (shewayet farfasha but it is another topic)

Sohad Tawakol said...

Ana ba7eb el farfasha aweee..el7a2ennee bel version dee 3ala tool..:)

lubna said...

:) howa enti ma bitzoreesh el blog beta3ik habibty.....? i enjoyed readin ur posts.....have u read fr Dr Sahar el Mogy?

Maryam said...

After all what the ladies beautifully said here, there is nothing left for me to say.
All i can tell you is it is ok to feel this way. i can understand it and get such strikes very often. so don't worry. take the time to be weak and lost. just remember that the beautiful ladies here are ready to support, if you decide to call for it.
I am sure you know how to prioritize important issues in your life, that really deserve your sadness, however, it is all in Allah's hand. so trust Him and leave it to Him to solve it for you.what you can do, is to be patient, do what's in your hand, and trust Him. He will get you out.

Maryam said...

Lubna, I had last week a session to clear my auras and chakras. and everyone thought what is taht all about? didn't know someone else believes in it.
Ya doctor, i can give you the contacts of my healer, if you wish to try it. i felt much better afterwards.

Sohad Tawakol said...

Lol la2 Ana 3aysha fel blog dee mesh 3andee :)) glad u liked what I wrote :))) haven't read for Dr. Sahar

Lubna said...

Maryam dear.....yea I do believe in that n u feel much better afterwards.....la2iti 7ad yesada2ik :)

Sohad ....she has a novel called Darya. Ur post amiret kol el 3osor reminded me of the main character. I think you will like reading it and reading what Dr. Sahar writes in general.

Sohad Tawakol said...

Will do ya Lubna .. Zort el blog wee kalamek bey7'alenee adama3 3ala tool.. As long as u loved Gamal el 3'eetanee keda will share another one I love for ma7moud darweesh.. لقد تعود كفي علي جراح الأماني.. هزي يدي بعنف ينساب بحر الأغاني.. El as7ab begad ba2a lazem yegeebo lee ba3d ertgag fel mo7';))

Ya Maryam energy healing works tab3an and can make a huge difference you can learn how to do it with visualization , meditation and yoga can help u maintain the same balance.. Ana ba7eboko awee ..

Lubna said...

Sohad .....w enti kaman...7elwa ertegag di lol
خدي عندك دي كمان
حين تذوق الفراشة طعم التحليق بحرية، حين تعرف نشوة تحريك أجنحتها في الفضاء
لا يعود بوسع أحد إعادتها إلى شرنقتها ولا إقناعها بأن حالها كدودة أفضل- غادة السمان :....

Im tried meditation n visualization....no yoga yet looking fwd to .....

ana kaman ba7ibokom awee

huge hug

Maryam said...

you are lovely ya banat. ana ba7eboko awy, awy, awy.
I am looking for yuga classes in mohandessin nearby. my healer says Hatha Yoga in Heliopolis is good.

the words you put ya Lubna are very true. unfortunately, many people never get the luxury of flying,dear. the crawling position is all they know. ugly, how people suppress others and deprive them of their natural rights.

Sohad Tawakol said...

El post dee a7san categorization leeha " ay kalam fe3lan".
Mohaly I will remind you of your post no. 836- my year of extremes ..read it please.. Go back and connect with your authentic self..!! Enta feen ya salama :P

mahmoud said...

Dr. Mohammad,
I'm sorry you are going through some rough time, try to work it out,
we need you back:) you are smart informative and a thinker who many of us enjoy his writing and his ideas.
stay put and face whatever it is that is bothering you., leaving is not a solution and they say the grass is always greener on the other side!
but it is n't..!
look at the bright side ya doctor you have people who love you and you have a good company right here on the blog.
Cheer up and hopefully tough time will pass.
I believe we are all here waiting for the fogs to clear up.
best wishes to you and to the nice ladies who along with you of course make this blog shine.
peace.

Sohad Tawakol said...

http://kharbashat-masrya.blogspot.com/
بمناسبة وجع القلب و كلام الأي كلام اللي يمفهموش غير العالم بتفسير الأحلام!

Mohaly said...

I dont know which is worse, the feeling of leaving, or the feeling that I burdened you all with it.

Sohad Tawakol said...

don't even try to think to overwhelm yourself with the burden of our feelings..how we feel is our responsibility & not yours..the core value of any friendship is to be there for each others and provide support when needed :)
Just don't disappear keda ..

Maryam said...

Burden eih bas ya Doctor. Don't ever think this way. if itt was a burden, we would leave here and spare ourselves the burden of commenting. we are here because we want to share whatever there is with eachother. so don't think this way, please.

I often think of leaving bardo, but dont know where to go. New Zealand is still open to immigraton, but it is far away from home. and mom, it broke her heart to see me leaving. me too, i wish to leave but don't find somewhere else. I just wish to have a human life. that's all.

think it over, if you really wish to leave, then check places and options and see what's available. it is a long way to go, before taking this decision.

it is good to see you here wallahi. i started doubting that this is your blog, not ours :-)
have a lovely morning, all :-)

Sohad Tawakol said...

Mohaly I won't ask the normal questions of what's happening to you or how did you get there, what you are passing through happens to all of us, we are human beings have our ups & downs. Life is full of mountains and valleys. However, when we are in the valley we need our resources to help us climb to the mountains we need to reconnect and remember how it felt up there. We need to have a compelling vision to our future, and simply start to climb. We can't master life, we can only master the process by which we experience it.
Just want to remind you with the difference you made in our lives, I believe you helped each and everyone of us in one way or another. For me you are my inspiration and the voice which reminds me everyday to go out there in the world and thrive to reach my potential , from you I have learned that life has no limits, I stopped questioning if there are any good people in this world & in Egypt, the last but not least You introduced me to the most valuable friends. Thee Aliens sisters :)).

Sohad Tawakol said...

Ana 2albee waga3nee men el kalam dah ya Maryam! Fekret el safar mor3eba..yes we want a civilized life & we deserve it bas meen ye2dar 3al 3'orba!
Lama bete2fel ma3aya ba7eb asma3 2o3'neyet بكره
نهار جديد نفرح فيه ويفرح فينا نزرع الأرض مواعيد حب وآمل وين ما مشينا بكره تجمعنا الأيام علي الخير وعلي السلام !مين قال ما نقدر نغير وجه الكون

Sohad Tawakol said...

Wee 3ala fekra ba2a el posts el mo3abera dee reflect high level of self awareness & inners strength..usually men don't share how they feel at all ! What you are doing now requires courage, maturity & wisdom.

Maryam said...

Ya Sohad don't think it is an easy decision. i don't want to leave my family. i adore my little nephew and hardly wait for hsi visit on fridays, our daily call after his nursery to tell me all about just warms my heart. ha2olek eih bas. sometimes it is damn hard to love this country, when it keeps slaping me on the face.
ya Sohad, if your country dones't love you back, at times you will feel drained. at a certain point you will just pack and leave. a big tear in the eye, a broken heart- bas khalas, there is no connection anymore.
the feeling damn damn hard.
we are humans and just can't be positive and optimistic all time, dear.

Sohad Tawakol said...

I agree ya Maryam no one can stay positive a the time, that's why I was trying to help you guys to see a different perspective. This doesn't mean that I am positive I am navigating through my own sadness as well.
God bless you all and ISA bokra haykon a7san.

Much love

NAMES said...

Saba7 zay el fol to all of you :)

Please Mohaly don't think of it as a burden. we don't want to add more weights on your shoulders, we are all here for each other , your problem may come from your pain that exceeds resources for coping with it. so don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. release yourself from this awful pressure and put yourself in a state of mind where you say to yourself here is another opportunity for me to realize my own power, my own ability.

these beautiful ladies are saying kalam zay el fol, why didn't you try some of their prescriptions and advices? walahy one of the things that encourage me to overcome the hard times in my life is your blog and the comments of your followers...specially these days!

ya banat i like awy your way in dealing with life...you are always like to look on the bright side of it, sometimes when I look at the world I'm pessimistic, but when I look at people like you really I am optimistic :)

these days i am spending alot of time with my lovely nieces...they have magic tools to let you get out from any bad feelings. bynaso el wa7ed el donia we arafha.

Maryam said...

ah ya Asmaa, kids have a very special magical tools, you should see how my nephew is enthusiastic to build a big giraffe with his cubes. begad, i love to see that shining thing in his eyes.
spending time with him does magic to my soul, that is true.
I am grateful for his being.

Sohad, ya 7abibty, i know wallahi what you were trying to do. I just wrote the words without much thinking, to relase or exhale the thought. that's it.

big tight hug ya banat :-)

Lubna said...

Gotta run ya banat... no time to comment but im here n big hug

Sohad Tawakol said...

No worries ya Maryam you are not suppose to filter your comments.. What we are having is a healthy discussion.
To be honest I know I am a dreamer and lack the realistic view of life.. I get slapped in the face daily, but live in denial.. I meet nas welad 60*70 wee batwege3 kteer bas I smile wee ba2ol ma3lesh akeed Ana 3'elet fee 7aga and I know enne mesh 3'altana..maybe I know if I thought of leaving I won't be able to come back again.. I have the option as well and perhaps will e my choice one day.. It's hard to chose between living a decent life and being with out families & in our country. The coming period will be harder than this, aw7ash men Elle fat.. We have to support each others 3alahan mano2a3sh! In Egypt or somewhere else we will always be connected , shining like the stars in the sky.

Sohad Tawakol said...

Howa Ana 3andee 7alet panic faze3a , I found out that I can't deal with the idea of losing a dear friend or a loved one el fekra nafsaha triggered lots of unhealed issues r..I guess still have a lot to work on. I am sorry I am not standing on a solid ground myself and will take a while to resolve what I am passing through now!

Maryam said...

Ya sohad none stands on solid ground ya 7abibty.dont worry you are not alone. What balances shewaya is our iman.it soothes the fear and makes pain bearable.we r human n Allah created us with this 'default'.so be it.
Me too have/ had your panic.most ppl actually have it, bas Allah grants us elsabr m3a elmosibah. I know that now, after going through many losses. And i fear the day mom or sibbling would be gone. When this crosses my mind, ba2ol ya rab.even now while writing, a tear rolled down my cheeks just from the idea.
2oly ya Rab, we howa hayostorha :-)

Mohaly said...

Maryam: It is an open space for you all. Aliens HeadQuarters.

Sohad: Sometimes there are stuff that cant be said, and disappointments that cant be measured.

Asmaa: I do respect you a lot.

Lubna: Your sincerity is amazing.

All: Thank You for the spirit, but I gotta play the role of hadem el lazat and say that.. sometimes good words cant just erase bad actions or even bad words.

Maryam said...

you are right ya doctor. absolutely right.
but kind words do miracles, if you empower them :-)
take your time in the cave of mars and come back when you are ready.
just keep in mind that nothing has power over you without your approval :-)

Mohaly said...

I lost the address to the cave.

Sohad Tawakol said...

Imohaly i will quote you " the issue is in having high expectations then":)

Maryam I am sorry dear if I triggered any fears by my comment I was trying to delete it but couldn't do that from the IPhone.
I was totally concerned about the emotional domino effect.
Guys inside each one of us a leader who is resourceful and wise, and a sabatour who simply can sabotage almost everything.
Tough time can knock any leader off the saddle, courage is all about riding again.
aliens don't fall they FLY. Our spirit is invincible. Don't be positive but don't victimize yourself as well, take responsibility of your own emotions knowing that other people's action is all about them not about you, how you will deal with it is yours. Between the stimulus and response lies a choice to perceive and act.

Love and light to all , 3awzeen kahareb fel blog dee :P

Lubna said...

Good evening all

I have a news for you my dear aliens....Today, suddenly at a certain moment keda...it just hit me....Im gonna write a Book....

For years, many of my friends asked me to collect my writings n publish them in a book. I had always this feeling that there was something missing or what for......

Today I just Knew .....was swept by confidence n faith n got the idea, message behind the book and ideas just kept presenting themselves to me one after another.....I will set a date for myself to get done with first draft so it won't elude me....

Im sharing this with you partially to thank you all for encouragement....and to tell you that you have helped me reach where I am right now....

3arfa ba3eedan 3an moodkom bas ana habeet asharekom my excitment as we share all...

Love & light to you all

Maryam said...

Allah ya Lubna, that sounds too good to be true, dear. Rabena ma3aky we yewafa2ek. I pray for your successand luck isA.
Keep us posted with the goings. Muuuuuah.

Maryam said...

Dont worry ya sohad.it is not you, dear. The idea was triggered by the sudden death of my friend's mother couple of days ago and mom's comments on the way back home from el3aza." Shoufi ba2a hate3meli eih when i die and you live alone." I dont fear the lonliness, i fear loosing her.
You are right.it is our choice of actions. I choose long time ago to go through this path, now i am trapped between two choices, both lead to hell.
Anyway.tomorrow is another day.
Tesba7o 3ala kheir ya banat

Maryam said...

Ya doctor i was referring to the cave men go to on planet mars, when they need to be on their own.you dont need to go there. You can stay on venus, with us. I thought you go there by choice.

Sohad Tawakol said...

Bonjour ya 7elween :) Lubna I am so proud if you and have nothing more to say than what I said to you earlier, you have full support whenever needed and yes it's about time ba2a;)) big hug.
Ya Maryam I lost my mother 13 years ago and many other loved ones either by death or separation.. I thought I overcame that fear with certain thoughts just to wake up yesterday & discover that I actually didn't..heartbreaks are part of life and I can't live it twice, by worrying about it and when it actually happens! Let'. Not focus on the subject and enjoy every minute we spend around them.
Have a great day ya shabab, full of love & joy.

Mohaly said...

It seems that we should all leave together ...

Lubna said...

Good morning all...

Sometimes we just need to detach with some mystical music......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO98e6ZBMok

Love & light

Anonymous said...

Good Morning all :
You are a lucky person ya Dr. Mohamed so many people around you really love and care about you . Give time sometime every thing will be ok inshaa Allah
Yasmin

Maryam said...

Ah ya Sohad. you are very right my dear. I lost dad and many beloved ones too the same way yo did. it is a fact and we should cope with it. and I do, elhamdollah :-)

Agree ya Doctor. we just need to find a place on this planet to host us :-)

Lubna, helwa awy the music, thank you. Ahmad - my colleague sharing the office- beysalem 3aleky :-)

Saba7 elward to all of you :-)

Lubna said...

Sohad habibty....will call you by evening....listen to Zade's to recharge until we talk :)

Lubna said...

Glad u liked the music Maryam :)

gotta ruuunnnnn....talk to u later guuuuys saba7kom fol :)

Sohad Tawakol said...

Let's review our blessings and gratitude list:) I received 2 phone calls this morning from 2 lovely ladies whom I consider as my mothers. I am blessed with loving people in my life . Love and appreciation warms my heart.
I encourage you to extend your love an appreciation today to those you care about.. We always undermine the impact of a smile or a nice word on others.

Love you all

NAMES said...

Way to go ya Lubna...I was waiting to hear something like that from you last year :) Rabena yewafa2ek.

It is a mutual feeling ya Mohaly. we talama there is no result with the words yeba2 lets work on actions ba2a. what do you think to arrange a small trip to any place for relaxation and we can go all together ya 7elween?...Sohad i think you are expert in this area.

Sohad said...

Great idea Asmaa:)) will be a pleasure tab3an to organize many trips for the lovely group anytime ..:))

lubna said...

Maryam dear....I was talkin to Sohad n we wish to meet u in person. My email is : lobnalsharif@gmail.com


Send me an email to exchange mobile numbers
Hope u feel z same ;)

Maryam said...

of course, girls. Lubna, just droped you an email.

Mohamed Mostafa said...

محمد مصطفي : مستر محمد ازيك .. انا علي فكرة حضرت لك محاضرتين قبل كدة وشايف انك من اجمل الناس اللي تقدر توصل معلومة بسهولة وبسلاسة .. وشايف ان حد زيك ما ينفعش يمشي ويسيب البلد دي عشان البلد دي مش هتتغير غير بحد زيك.. حد عنده علم وبينقله بأمانة .. حد عنده حب انه يفيد اللي حواليه .. حد الناس اتعلمت علي ايده واتغيرت كتير .. كل اللي اقدر اقوله لحضرتك ويمكن يكون دافع يخليك تغير رأيك .. خليك هنا عشان في عقول كتير محتاجاك

Mohaly said...

Thank you Mohamed Mostafa for your sincere and encouraging words.

I didnt say I decided to leave Egypt, it is the feeling and urge to leave that is not even defined in leaving what, when, and how!

Sohad said...

I love my friends neither with my heart nor with my mind. Just in case heart might stop, mind can forget. I love them with my soul. Soul never stops or forgets.
Rumi

Anonymous said...

تمشى تروح فين بس احنا هانعمل حمله تمرد على الاختفاء ده و سهل اننا نجمع توقيعات وى اول لاف موحلى
دعاء امين

Mohaly said...

Will leave to be able to continue ya Doaa.. the count down has begun..

Anonymous said...

ممممممممممممممم حيث كده بقى خد بالك من نفسك و دور على نفسك جوه نفسك فى رحلتك للبحث عن ذاتك ماحدش هايمد ايده ليك و يخرجك من الى انت فيه الا نفسك هو صعب و قاسى بس صدقنى عن تجربه احسن بكتير .
انا بحس ان الالتزام بالكتابه بشكل اسبوعى بيقتل الابداع مش لازم يكون فى ميعاد ثابت يعنى عشان تكتب . انت بتكتب الى بتحس بيه ممكن يعدى اسبوع او اثنين او ثلاثه من غير كتابه بس انا عن نفسى بصراحه بستنى كل سبت ;)
دعاء امين

Sohad said...

A have the same feeling now ..I wanna leave and have a fresh new life somewhere else!! I want to leave and have a new life.. New job.. New friends.. New me !! Is it apathy or running away from my own life, self or decisions I also dunno how did I get here!! Hitting the bottom of the hill & looking to the mountain top. I wish I can be invisible

Sohad said...

Maybe I had to experience that feeling to know how to get out of it.. A new approach by accepting the feeling rather than rejecting it. Try to locate where it's coming from from the body or visualize it. Talk to it as it's sending a certain message of a pressing neglected need. Could be need to talk, need to have attention, need for love, to excercise, have more fun, unleash the inner child, etc. once this is discovered a sense of relief and inner joy will follow that nothing is wrong in life itself it's just an unfulfilled suppressed need trying pass through..