854) We, Mothers, and Others !!

If I asked you : Do you really love your mother? Most probably you gonna say: Of course, are you kidding me, who doesn't?! However, if I asked a lot of Egyptians who are in their 30s or even late 20s, and still living with their mothers about the obstacles they are facing or the people whom they cant really communicate with, you will find them answering: "Of course my mother, are you kidding me, who doesn't?" and here comes the dilemma :)

The problem is that at a certain age or stage of life, we start feeling that we and our mothers are living in the same place but in a different dimension where even words have different meaning and interpretation for each. The challenge or the inner fight comes because we do love our mothers so much for all what they did and still doing for us, but at the same time we feel the extreme need for independence and being in full control of our decision regardless of how other people will see it (and that is something mothers do care a lot about ... الناس هاتقول إيه).

Although I don't have a certain solution for such problem, but let's agree on some of the facts 

about Mothers:

• They love us more than we love ourselves.
• They are trying to do what they think will make us happy.
• They rarely listen to us.
• They do listen to others a lot.
• They wont change no matter what.
• They need our love and care at this stage as much as we need it from them or even more.

Hence, I guess the way out is:

• To give them extreme care and love, all the time.
• Avoid debating about minor stuff that will just waste energy and time.
• Talk with them about one topic at a time without revealing differences as much as pointing out similarities.
• Focusing on end results -that may be common- rather than the process -that may be controversial.
• Make them feel that we still need them a lot and they can count on us at the same time..
• If you can afford, move out till you get married (if you will ever do).

God bless our mothers, and give us the patience to keep them satisfied..

M.O.H.@.L.Y

785) Sexual Compatibility & Marriage !

When people get married in Egypt and the Arab World in general, they usually try to know everything about each other and their families, and in pre-arranged marriages, they may even have lists to ask each other to make sure that they are compatible. 

What I am wondering about is how do they know that they are sexually compatible, and do they discuss that or not since it is one of the critical issues in marriage that can lead to its falling apart.

I am also wondering about men in this part of the world who insist that they are perfect and even give us a headache about how great they are in bed, and how many women are on their agenda, while their wives may be complaining about their performance. Do some men think that they know how to please women while they really just make them feel frustrated and sometimes humiliated?

Before someone thinks that I am calling for pre-marital sex, I am not calling for anything, I am just wondering how can you make sure that you are marrying the right person on different levels.

Mohaly

727) House Wife ... Get a Life !

I wonder why do some women consider their husbands literally everything in their lives. Their whole life starts and ends with and at their men! I am not against house-wives but against the woman who doesn't have anything in her life but her man..

I think the wife should share, help, please... her man, but she should have her own activities (other than house duties) whether as at work or just for fun. I think this is even better for the man who will not be taking her for granted, and it will boost her self-confidence.

One of my female friends was telling me that she has to be involved in everything in her husband's life so that he wont be used to doing anything alone!!! Why, this makes men trapped and gets an opposite effect.

To all house-wives... Would you get a life?

What do you think?

Mohaly

713) Fawazeer Ramadan ::: Bloggers & Marriage!

I have noticed (after some research) that many of the good bloggers in Egypt are not married, and this has nothing to do with age or gender. Many of them are busy and successful al-hamdullah and even well known (like Marwa Rakha, and Ghada Abdelall) ... What is it with Bloggers and Marriage in Egypt?!


El Fazoura: 
Why are the majority of the good Egyptian bloggers (men and women) not married yet?


Mohaly

694) Hanging for Marriage !!

For 2 successive months, 2 Egyptians died the same way (one killed, and other committed suicide) and both because of having their proposals refused.
- The 1st one was Mohamed in Lebanon who killed his lover's family and the people punished him by hanging him in the street.
- The 2nd was Amr, the 30 years old guy who was refused by Mona's family 3 times, and then he decided to kill himself by hanging from Kasr El Aini Bridge.

I am wondering what is the relation between Hanging and Marriage?!
The weird thing is that quite significant number of the people who are married wants BARDO to commit suicide!!

Mohaly

674) No Hard Feelings - Ep.5 - Men Don't Change!

This Episode is tackling LAO's question of Why do men change after marriage..

1) Actually men don't change after marriage. It is your perception that do change.

Before marriage, you don't live together 24 hours a day. You can't see all the sides of the man's personality

During the time you spend together, they present the best side of themselves in front of each other.Before marriage, there is just this physical attraction. You may know your partner significantly well but not good enough to know his dark side, if not his ugliest side.

2) Some men take their wives for granted (he has already won the hunting competition, and you is his khalas). They used their weapons (even sweet ones), then they just let it all out after they have officially become husband and wife.

I have once read an article about what to do right after marriage: "After every wedding comes a marriage. With marriage, couples need to learn another set of soft skills like giving respect and managing expectations to sustain their marriage."

Life after marriage is going to be very different, whether you like it or not.

"Marriage is hard enough without bringing unrealistic expectations into it. People don't change just because they say I do in their marriage vows and their partners shouldn't expect them to."

What I wanna say here is that you should SET your expectations right. Expect that he will do 50% of what he is doing before marriage, if you are fine with that, then go for it, but don't be fool and expect that he is exactly the same person that you have known before. However, life has a good side too, sometimes you realize some good stuff that you haven't seen in him before too. So, if you live each day of your marriage with realistic expectation, there are actually many good things you can look forward each day.

Mohaly

Next Sunday: Off (not sure I will have access in an abroad trip).

Following Sunday: Men hiding in their Caves!

665) Personal ::: Many Hard Feelings!

I am very sorry for not writing my weekly article in the "No Hard Feelings" series. I am just fed up with the enormous pressure my family (and extended family) is putting on me during the whole of past week on daily and even hourly basis.

I cant feel worse about myself! They are making me feel like being of no benefit or value if I am not maried. "You will regret it", "You will just take what others left", "You will live in Misery"!

Quick Example: I attended my cousin's engagement in the weekend, and every single aunt/woman relative was screwing my head with "see this girl, what about the other girl I told you about, why dont you go out with a third girl since your sister is here,....etc).

They are after me at home, on mobile, events, even on facebook!

I am sorry dear readers, in such mood I will be lying if I said "No Hard Feelings", coz there are many inside me now.

P.S. I promise to continue with episode 3 next week in-shaa-Allah.

Mohaly
S.O.S.

656) No Hard Feelings - Series Intro !

It is the Valentine's Week again ... last year I have dedicated a whole week of posts for it, and some of you have written about this coverage in their blogs and online magazines.

This year, allow me to interrupt "The Vision" series with a new series that will go in parallel: "No Hard Feelings". This series is mainly dedicated for the signs that men give women and how to understand it right, the problems that arise from mis-understanding, and false assumptions made by women in reading men... I think that the best time to launch the series is while people celebrating the Love festival; the Valentine's ;)

Women -in general- have their own dictionary about men; unfortunately, this dictionary is always written and developed by women. In order to understand a man, you need to know it from a man not a woman, no matter how much this woman know men. You can consider this series -along with "What Men Want" that I have written in Summer 2008- a quick key to better understanding of men.

Men and Women do a big mistake by insisting on evaluating and interrupting each others actions and words with their own perceptions. This ends up in positioning the relation between them as a racing competition rather than an integration. Such noise created by the competition blocks their vision, and make them fail to realize that in a competition there should be a winner and a loser. However, men and women relations can't afford a loser; and hence, both of them will lose on the long term. We can't just keep competing, WE WILL BOTH LOSE.

So before going into this series' episodes, I want you to list what are the stuff that you need me to cover in this series; hence, I can take it into consideration in the rest of episodes. This is not for female audience only, I need men to tell me as well what they want to make it more clear to women to have better understanding and relations..

P.S. This may open the floor for quarrles, so please accept each other's opinions.

... For all the single ladies reading or following my blog ... Happy Valentine's!

xoxoxo ;)

Mohaly

651) Personal ::: Would You Marry Me?!

Would you Marry Me?
A hard question and harder answer. Someone who decided to share the rest of his life with someone is asking this "someone" to do the same and reach the same decision.
Would you Marry Me?
You may live and die without saying it, or making it come true.
Would you Marry Me?
"2en 2olt matkhafsh, we 2en khoft mat2olsh". If you are afraid, don't say it, and if you said it, don't be afraid.
Would you Marry Me?
Usually the guy say it, but sometimes the woman has enough guts to do it.

Would you Marry Me?

Age: A guy in his mid 30s.

Education: Good education, post graduate degrees.

Job/Reputation: Has a reputable job and positioning in the society, perceived as an intellectual between his peers and friends. Has no enemies (but himself sometimes).

Personality: Very practical yet dreamer, decisive (stubborn?) yet a listener. Into home, family, and kids (adores kids), and doesn't socialize a lot (not outgoing). Not Typical in his thoughts or actions, a mix between western thinking and eastern feelings.

Location: Travels a lot in and outside Egypt. Doesn't believe in leaving Egypt, yet planning not to live in Cairo on the long term (by the Sea).

Class: Socioculturally Upper Class, Financially Upper Middle (Mastoura wal Hamdullah), Reputable Family.

Religion: Muslim, loves his religion but respects all other relegions as well ... moderate approach of islam focusing on morals, helping others, and doing essential duties.

Political View: Moderate, more into liberal. Not member of any party, yet taking part in public work on the social front.

Official Relations: Read Fatha once (semi-Engaged), wasn't married before.

Positives: Very sincere when he loves, punctual, respects himself and others, assertive, and kind.

Negatives: Sometimes stubborn (extremely stubborn when it has to do with time), not easy on himself and sometimes others (perfectionist), all ambitions have to do with his mission and family and not money, get bored easily (high maintenance), and burdened by bigger issues. Not a simple or easy character by all means, and Freedom of thought and action is his main value that he can't afford to lose even if married to ten!

so...

Would you Marry me?

(no specific person in mind)

Mohaly

P.S> This is the first post I am writing after the mild concussion I had from last week's car accident. Do you think that it has any effect on me?!!

614) FUN ::: 2ew3a Teza3al Meratak !!

Lost his wife, reputation, & money...!

Think again before betraying your wife...!

Mohaly

603) Fawazeer Ramadan ::: Wife's Birthday!

What is the most effective way to remember "your wife's" birthday?

Mohaly

565) El 7okoma wel Gama3a !

For the first impression you may think that this is a political post about the government and el ekhwan, but actually it is about wives!

In short: 

1. Why do a significant number of Egyptian men when they talk about their wives, they say: El 7okoma or El Gama3a? 

2. Why don't they just say Meraty?!!!

Mohaly

back in cairo..

514) Marriage, Top Reasons - Part II !

Now, can you list at least 5 top reasons for guys, and 5 top reasons for girls to stay single?

MohalyPublish Post

513) Marriage, Top Reasons - Part I !

So can you list at least 5 top reasons for guys, and 5 top reasons for girls to get married?

P.S. there can be common stuff between the two lists.

Mohaly

496) Three in One!!

7ad fahem 7aga!!

Mohaly

486) Work or Wife?!

Do men love their Jobs more or their Wives?!

Why?

Mohaly

421) What Men Want - Episode 10 - Finale!

After exactly One month of starting this series on May 11th, we finally come to the final episode of What Men Want.

If we were talking in Eps. 9 about Men wanting a female who will get them & take care of their off-spring, then obviously Men want a woman who will commit to them.

Though increasingly this is hard to find, it doesn't take away the wish. Men want to make a home eventually and are looking for a woman who will be a willing sharer in home life. Men want a woman who they can share with and trust and be open with. Commitment is not a one way street and therefore men are struggling to find the levels of commitment they always dream of.

A final word:

As I said in Eps. 1, Men want it all!! Men will do anything for the woman who can fulfil these wants, but usually they can't get it all. However, they can tell when the time has come and when they meet the right person.

Men can be easily kept committed to home if they felt that this is the place they can re-charge, and the source of happiness & love in their life challenge.

Ya banat, I hope that I helped in displaying what men want, but my advice to you is to choose the guy who cherishes the woman, and know that she is a blessing from God. Don't care much about the looks (tall, short, fat, thin...etc) and and the brand of his car and watch. Care about his mind-set, how does he think about the future, a man with a vision, a man you can trust and rely on, a man who can be a role model for your kids, a man who takes you as his partner but know that he is the leader, and with power comes responsibility.

With all the advantages of being single, men don't ever feel complete without a woman no matter how successful they are. 3ala ra2y 2adi el belaj song: "Regala bedon gawaz, shababeek men ghier ezaz!".

Ya3nee men el akher ... Men don't want to be alone.

Mohaly

P.S. a successful yet lonely man!

397) Welcome to The Singles Blog!!

Although I didn't plan for it or expect it, but obviously this blog attracts singles only!!
Ya rabi everyone of the frequent raders is single (tamer, yasmine, shaimaa, embee, only love, hagar, omar, LG, just a reader, YI,....etc) is there something anti-marriage here!!

Can anyone explain this?!

Mohaly (& Single)

P.S.May be we should organize a singles party 3ashan yeb2a wafa2na roos ketera fel 7alal :)

394) 3ayza Atgawez Book!

I have been reading the first edition of Modewanet El Sherouk, specifically "3ayza Atgawez" for Ghada Abdel Al. The idea of publishing very popular blogs in a book is great

Ghada has been tackling the issue of females not getting married in Egypt and passing on her experience through a character (herself) called "Bride". The book is hilarious, and she really is very honest and reflects the reality of what happens in the Egyptian families, and the potential husbands in gawz el saloonat.

But as a guy, there is the other side of the story that I think should be covered in a counter-book may be called "mesh 3ayez atgawez" because lots of us as guys lost faith in marriage and became afraid (for many reasons) to hook our lives up with an Egyptian "family" till the rest of our lives!

Mohaly

379) Marriage in the 21st Centry - Part II

People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship.

This issue "marriage" became one of the most annoying issues for a lot of guys and girls over 30.

Why was it easier zaman to get married than now? What happened to marriage in the 21st century? I am wondering why when you have the money to get married you dont have the will, and when you have the will you dont have the money, and when you have the money and the will you dont have a choice, and when you have a choice you dont have the health.....!!! Am I too pessimestic about marriage?!

Mohaly