I am not
gonna talk today about politics, love, relationships, life, or anything. This
is one of the personal posts that I bother you with every now and then J
I finally
took the decision that I have long waited for ; I am moving out of Cairo by the
end of 2015 in-shaa-Allah. Before you say, that is still far away, I would like
to tell you that it cant be sudden, and it has to be gradual in order to pull
out slowly of the corporate business and establish another in the new
destination, and handle how I will continue teaching at AUC as well, and do the
Social work at Nahdet El Mahrousa. My Mission is the same, but I may need to change some strategies.
This will take at least 2 years to handle,
but just taking the decision itself is a big relief.
Although I
loved Cairo a lot -when I was younger- that I have established a club in its name
at AUC and other Egyptian and Foreign universities, but I really cant bare
living there or being a full-timer in Cairo anymore. Cairo became a blood,
mind, and soul sucking city with all its traffic, air, pollution, aggressiveness and lost feeling of security. This is not only because of the aftermath of the
revolution, I was actually thinking about it since 2006, but the revolution
aftermath just came to push me to take the decision without regrets.
So what
about Marriage? Ah, I won’t wait to get married and take the decision, that
stage is over. I am where I am, and will be where I will be, and the woman who
is gonna think about marrying me will know that from the beginning and it is
her full choice to join me in such life or “enjoy” Cairo. In addition, I am
more closer than ever now regarding not looking for an Egyptian wife with all
my respect to Egyptian women.
The
challenge is that I still have lots of ideas in development and corporate, that
I cant still figure out how to handle while not always being in Cairo. I am sure
that I will be able to handle it, specially that I wont completely move out, I
will be a part timer being in Cairo 2 or 3 days every week or something of the
sort.. The things I know for sure is that I don’t want Cairo to be my home
anymore as I already don’t feel belonging there anymore.
Will I
succeed in such new life challenge … I don’t know, but I know that I will do my
best to take the challenge till the end J
M.O.H.@.L.Y
63 comments:
Good luck I’m sure that you will succeed in this new life as long as you don't have such feelings of belonging any more to Cairo to be ur home you are a red sea man . You said before that you were planning for such decision but I do remember that you said by 2017 i guess but it seems that what is going on push you to take that decision earlly .As for marriage Mr. beautiful man who knows may be you will find her there ( dual nationality or living abroad as you don’t like the mindset of the Egyptian women although they are very kind mothers like ur MOM ).I know very well that you won’t be a traditional husband .May be ur are right in your choice but what is very important my dear friend is that she must LOVE you awiiiiiiiiii otherwise she will suffer a lot ;P . she has to know how to deal with ur buttons ;). Finally ba2a, Do whatever you want that makes you happy because this is your life and I really want you to enjoy life to the maximum . You always lead your life your way and do what brings happiness into your life. Don’t give yourself a chance to regret. Do what makes you happy today. From today onwards be open to accept anything new that comes your way and make room for changes. You started from scratches 3 times I guess and ma sahaa alah you succeeded. You always in dire need for change this is you ya Mohaly typical Aquarian. Maybe you will experience something amaziiiiiing that you would have never experienced if you wouldn’t be open to changes. But, always make sure whatever you do is guided with love and pure intention and positive feelings that enhance you to take proper decision my dear friend :)
YA
That was deep.
You have all the rights to take such decisions in your life becoz you are free....break the chains of the social and traditional constrains and go confidently into the direction of your dreams, Live the life you have always imagined :) YOU WILL DO IT, I AM SURE.
Please don't think too much about the marriage issue either “Western woman, Eastern woman, Arabian woman or even Egyptian woman”....most of men said that all women are alike :)) ... bas elly leek naseeb fih hatla2ih. or you can get one from each so you will have 4 7asab el share3a :)
Good Luck and May Allah help and guide you to do what is good for you.
THANK you for the support Asmaa :)
Good morning to you all :-)
First, you are entitled to write what you wish. it is your personal blag anyway. :-)
good for you taking the decision and setting a deadline to start. go ahead with the steps and things will goalong. do what is best for you regardless of who will join the journey or not. if Allah wishes you will succeed, or at least you tried.
Mariage issue shouldn't be part of your plan unless you meet the right one for you. otherwise, do what makes you happy, without waiting for someone to live your dream.
fully agree to your non-egypcian choice. i reached this point some time ago. with all respect to egyptian men too. my friends who married europeans say it is a wonderful expereince, reliable and worth the effort. so go ahead :-). personally i would love to marry a Swiss. their nature reflects positively on their personality.
Cairo stopped being anyone's home for long now. it turned into an ugly city, crowded, noisy and as you described blood-sucking. however it will remain the home we trun to, to meet family members, etc.
good jump from politics and everything going around. do this more please. politic is destroying nerves.
Ah ya Maryam... sometimes I feel that I subconsciously write your comments ... It comes from even deeper area in my mind than that I use to write here revealing me from inside and setting what is locked in my mind free!
Swiss of course :) English and German too suits my personality (I guess so).
Swiss is because I love all dairy products and adore the horrible cheese they make. not to mention buiscuits, chocolate and cakes. i am a looser here.
Swiss really, bc i would love to live either on mountain or on lake side. dreaming :-), 3adi gedannnnn
I dealt with Germans and Austrians. they are good, if they choose to be friendly. otherwise you will think they are iced persons.but this is absolutely not true. they are very warm, only you must know how to slowly approach and break the shell. they think we arabs are tooo hot-natured. but they enjoy this warmth once they overcome the shock.
British, he would be too foggy for me. I wouldnt like to live there, and their nature isnt as beautiful as "south europe". that would be a bad match for me. :-)
yeah I noticed that in Germans, and they are straight forward, up to the point, persistent, and punctual.
Oh u should try Scotland Highlands in the Summer ... uffff
Thank you for the nice words. i am glad we think the same way. or alomst, considering the gender difference :-)
setting what is locked in your mind free should come naturally when you write here. this is your personal blog, and you have every right. i understand it is not easy at all. i have been trying to do so for almost 3 years now. often it helps, though. soemtimes it makes me uncomfortable. but sometimes i have to tell whats inside to cure. am telling you, its a challange.
Salamtak men el "Ah" :-)
just teasing.
loool
yes, this blog has helped me a lot in getting it our and even balancing myself .. thanks to people like you, Lubna, Asmaa, and other precious readers.
I -and I guess all of us here- would love to read your own posts even if once every couple of months.
Speaking of decisions and leading life the way I want .. My beloved mother is back in Egypt after spending 2 months with my sister in Saudi..
I almost forgotten how different we look at life, but the great thing now is that I get into the arguments much more confident, calmer, and knowing what I want and ready to defend it quietly and happily :)
حمد لله على سلامه ماما يا د. محمد ربنا يجمعكم دايما على الخير يارب
Yasmin
Thank you Yasmin
I have read it shortly after you posted it yet I was in no condition of writing a comment, so sorry for the delay
Wow……u are gonna do it yay ! U have always amazed me with how your mind, heart, soul and character are in consistence n harmony .Not so many ppl will take such a brave decision. It is one thing to change a career or leave a position but this time u are taking change to another level n u r literally raising the bar for yourself n leaving your comfort zone of established success….True u will still maintain your loved job as educator at AUC, and your role at Nahdet el Mahrosa but at the same time, u r seeking new shores of new life style with all the details that may come along. Knowing u, I know how well u thought of all details n how well u have evaluated the obstacles so your last sentence of how you are not sure whether u will succeed or not is not just a cliché, it ahs solid grounds and concerns. So I wish you all the best. May u obtain far more than you dream of.
Combining the two life styles is a hell of a challenge but as 3amo Walt Disney says:
“It's kind of fun to do the impossible. ”
Finally, comes the part about marriage….Mohaly actually with all going on these days, may be the fact that you are moving to Red Sea would attract some girls n work for your favor :P
La begad dearest the one that would consider where you live, what you do for living won't be your true match…you may marry her but she won't be the right one…..
I believe ppl marry for so many reasons…. At this confident, more balanced and sexier stage……as u realized who u really are n embraced yourself as is….hope u meet someone who is a believer….someone who wishes to live with you regardless of materialistic considerations like place, position…..etc. After all, the journey of life is not measured by such. You are the Odd one out regarding nationality, so I hope u meet ur match regardless of her nationality too …..it is like an odd piece of puzzle that finally reveal its image when put right next to its match
It is another level of knowing n enjoying one's essence when u meet your match. The only thing that would matter that you are together, having each other's back through tough days before good ones so no worries:)
Maryam : I truly enjoyed your comments dear n you made me smile more than once :)
Lubna: Is this a competition of who gets deeper in thoughts, and in really revealing what is in mind or what?
@ Dr. Mohamed. I am not sure about writing. maybe i have nothing to tell the world. i used to write some "mental notes" and put down my feelings on paper when i was young. but writing in public is a lot different. i dont really know.
but thank you for encouraging.
So, as long as your mother spends long times with your sis, you are used of being on your own. that is a good training for you when you move out. you will know the basics to keep you alive then. learn to cook and you will do good. i can help with receipts :-)
that would be a funny challange too watch :-)
what i wanted to point out to you was something i watch going on in my family, you might benefit of it. my cousins moved to Port Tawfik, Suez long time ago when they married. throughout the years it was ok, the part of the city was beautiful and luxourious. the only challange was getting the kids in good schools, which wasn't available back then.80's. so my cousin took the jjob herself and decided to educate the kids on her own, in parallel to the school. it was ok at some times but too hard on the child in others. she reached a good level anyway, until collage. the kids moved out here to join the AUC and stayed with their grandma till graduation and got hired in Cairo as well. as their Godmother, i can see that they arent happy to stay away from their parents. tough challange, but no other way.
I am not sure how the education level of schools would be where you would move, just be prepared to act as private teacher to your child to fill in the gap. i dont think it would be a horrible mission, consdering that life style there is more relaxed than here. there is a price to pay for every thing, i guess.
Sabah elward ya Lobna :-)
“It's kind of fun to do the impossible. ” I loved this quote. thank you for sharing.
your analysis was really deep, looks like you know Dr. Mohamed well dear :-) I enjoyed reading it.
and in many parts i agree. not only for Dr. Mohamed's case, but in general. a true soulmate doesnt even "see" the defaults of circumstances in the one they love. somehow it melts in the overall personality and are not seen. it simply goes without saying.
but moving out of cairo in the current situation is a really big challange, simply bc other parts of Egypt dont offer good basic surviving options, like for instance education. so it IS a hard challange for the one.
I am happy my comments make you smile. don't we all need the change?
bas dont you agree welnaby? dont swiss make the best chocolate and cheese? I adore yoghurt with anything in or just plain and they make it LOVELY.
my ideal match would be swiss living on lakeside or on mountain :-)
wanna join? ;-)
Habibty Maryam I'll start wz thE last part , I adore yoghurt, lakeside n mountains but not enough to live there :) however, I'll be glad to visit you lol.
يا ألف أهلا وسهلا. تنوري يا فندم. أوعدك أول دعوة للزيارة تكون لك :-)
Ya Lobna, it is all a dream or something more like a never-happening-wish. we are stuck here for quiet sometime, dear. :-)
unless we, moderate moslems, will be forced to leave the country and submit a Request for political asylum to European countries. the question however would be if they would be willing to accept us.
Dear Maryam,
I can totally relate to the part of writing and feeling reluctant to share. I do the same :)
Somehow what I write feels private n very specfic n it is just a relief to write it down n get it out of my mind lol. Im too content with (Commenting ) and thanks for Mohaly for creating this mental space for us to debate, discuss, write, and chat :).Still, I know I would be interested to read any notes written by you.
Back to basic note: I know what a tough challenge it would be for the one, but knowing Mohamed Im confident how reasonable n loving he is,and how he is a problem solver....so , it is many challenges yet she has the best team partner to support n find "an exist" :)
and she won't bother much coz she is the odd one out too so she will understand most of it without even the need to talk much about.
We complicate life with materialistic approach while the things that make us truly happy are price less literally :)
No one knows what will happen in future, but if you pick the right partner....u get a better chance of surviving "come what may". At least, u will have love, support n someone who believes in you even when is angry with you !
Mohaly , khalas askot a7san :)
No dont stop, you are now shareholders in this blog :)
Loooool
Dear Lobna, good to know that you share the same "hobby". for quiet some time i was the only one doing so among my friends. me too, am content with commenting here and enjoy the discussions i find here. a communication way that i am getting addicted to :-)
again, seems you know Dr. Mohamed well. me too, i got the impression that he is a good problem solver. his field of expertise - organizational development- requires a very broad problem solving scale and talent.
people are different when prioritizing, dear. however, everyone has the rght to demand what would make them happy. be it money, house, love, pets, chidlren, career. whatever. human nature is soo wide. i dont mind someone who sets "things" as their demans. it is their life afterall.
as for my future, I don't think much of it now. dropped the subject some time ago and dealing with life now in a slow way, coping with everyday's challanges and enjoy the moments i expereince nice things. like commenting here, for instance.
tayeb tell you somehting funny. after i wrote my comment earlier, i thought living at a lakeside would be more perfect, if the lake contains a doplhine. its one of my favourites. the dream is getting tooo big :-))))))
Dear Maryam,
As long as U r not shocked by reality, darling keep dreaming or fantasizing :)
As for ppl's priorities, believe me honey.....it is a phase thing for most ppl. They would spend their life seeking to achieve one thing, and when they finally get it , they will realize that is not as happy place as they thought it would be.
What makes life worth it, is the ride itself.....the details....and making others happy. It seems the more you give, the more is given to you. The more you seek Allah, the more Allah is closer to you n enlightens your way.
If you seek light within, the more you will glow.....It is a journey within rather than an external journey.
My wise friend once told me that the most precious thing u may give to someone is Time and I agree.
Since we have limited time to live so it is what we do with it, be it seeking some mortal goals or extent the benefit and have an impact after we are gone....be it someone who benefited from 3elm, or deed,or just support.
Sorry if I sound a bit gloomy.It is not my intention. I believe that all we have is the present n we should make best of. this moment that im writing to you in is a unique one. Time does not stop, so it is the priceless thing we have so how we spend it and with whom should reflect what matters to us.
I could give you so many examples of rich ppl who failed to express their love to their loved ones or so many apprantly successful men n women who feel numb within.....
It is a balance between mind, heart, and soul....between joys of achieving n having someone to enjoy this moment with....between working hard and stopping to watch the sun rise.....between dreaming and living......taking and giving....I think i should stop now :)
I love dolphines too, who doesn't :)
The part about Egypt, I will comment later on cause my heart is aching right now. (masr waga3a albi bishakl la tatkhayalih- Im trying to comment here to cheer myself up away from aches)
First time to know that Dolphins live in lakes !!
It is a fantasy darlin so everything is possible walla eh ya Maryam ;)
They dont ya doctor.till now.
But it might approve to live in a lake when i tell it that it would be nice to hsve it around.
Webs3dein ya3ni its a dream, where everything is possible :-D
Tab3an ya lobna, everything is possible
I am going now to a wedding ... 4 or 5 hours of torturing ... The first time to feel tense since I was back..
I have to go and stay as it is my cousin's wedding specially coming after his hard divorce and definitively he needs support.
God, why the hell did they invent weddings especially in Egypt?!
May be this deserves a separate post just dedicated to it.
Try to do somethin new .....dance as much as u can ....smile n avoid talks lol
I'd rather die burnt alive while I am drowning in the middle of the ocean after being electrically shocked THAN dancing in an Egyptian Wedding.
Dear all,
I really enjoyed reading your lovely comments...it made my day walahy :)
Thank you Mohaly for your trust....your blog is another virtual home for me specially when i wanna be a lone with myself and i consider myself lucky knowing you and some of your friends as well becoz i learned a lot from the discussions either here or on FB.
Maryam...dream as much as you can...dreams are free of charge with no cost ya3ny...really i believe on it becoz sometimes it becomes true...this is from my own experience.
Lubna...enty 7abibty :) big hug.
Yes Mohaly we need a separate post about this issue begad... i was discussing something like that with one of my friends yesterday...she was telling me that she regret what she did regarding her wedding party becoz she payed a lot and after that she realized it was just wasting for her money and the money of her husband too for nothing!!
Just one thing ya banat...don't forget to invite me to visit you in Swiss :)
lih bas keda ya mohaly. my heart ache...it is very simple...don't dance..just smile and avoid talks as lubna said.
Leih bas ya doctor. Enjoy the dance, croud, smoke, noise and everybody pushing their nose in your life.
And watch people pile tons of food on their plttes and not eating them.and evetyone talks behind eveyones back.
Allah 3ala egyptian weddings :-D
Personally, a reception after katb elketab is more than enough. A trio playing some music and thts it.
Names:welcome to join in Switzerland and play with my dolphin, dog, elephant, horse and birds. Sure they will enjoy your visit.
I am dreaming as big as i can.and love my dreams.up to a certain level, it is all i have. Simply close my eyes and dream.
I am glad you enjoyed our talks here. We all escape the ugly truth by coming here. Thanks to dr. Mohamed :-D
loool ya Mohaly. This sentence cracks me up everytime. I wanted the girls to enjoy ur unique reply :) ( it is one & only type)
ya Banat, Doesn't this sentence remind you of the accidents' script wriiten for a cartoon like Tom & Jerry .....they are not physically harmed n it ends well (Hopefully). It is just hilarious.
Mohaly , accept my sincere sympathy. Had u bn among strangers, at least u would act invisible n leave as U wish.
fi mizan hasantak n who knows may be u will return home feeling good.
Maryam, are u mentioning the top worst things about weddings ? ;)
Asmaa.....I love u too, big hug
ya Lobna, I just mentioned part of the dilema, dear ;-)
egyptian weddings are a chance for happy family gatherings, etc but a nightmare to aliens like us.
i guess we are here the outsiders of the egyptian society :-)))))
La2 keda lazem a3mel post 3an el Egyptian Wedding ... SPECIALLY AFTER WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH YESTERDAY..
Maryam, this is exactly my perception about weddings, and what I am looking for as ideal. mesh ba2olek, u read though me!
Lobna, mashy :)
Asmaa, happy to have u in the discussions, and u r welcome to join all posts, there are still shares available in the blog :)
nice to know what you think about weddings.:-). I should have expected it bardo, that you would approve of my choice. seems i am getting to know you better with time :-) but wallahi i just spoke out my mind and my wish.
for me a wedding is celebration of future happiness of 2 people. this celebration should in noway be a burden to them or their families. it is rather a big family gathering where the couple enjoy sharing their happiness with their families and friends. how on earth would this happen if ppl have to shout at eachother to just hear what they say. the ongoing celebrations are for me a total loss for all involved parties. begad. but anyway, everyone is free to choose what makes them happy.
and I love the big book ppl nowadays write their wishes for the couple. i find it a lovely gesture, especially that only those who really care are the ones who write something. those who dont care or those who just attend for the sake of "being there" dont really bother. this way, the book only contains the wishes of those who really care.
Good morning Guys,
I'm against weddings big celebrations and i consider it a total wasteful traditions "waste of resources and time and efforts in addition it doesn’t guarantee a happy home" and all that money could be put in something better like travelling and enjoying with my partner or doing anything useful... and i believe that whatever you do or spend for your wedding you will never satisfy people and you will get criticized by all means. so why i do something i am not comfortable or even convinced with!
ma3lesh ba2a ya mohaly...it seems that the discussion turned to be about this issue...this doesn't mean we are not waiting for your post :)
la2 wait till the post ba2a ... khallena in moving out of Cairo.
7ader..
concerning moving out of Cairo...i'm already out but what i'm thinking now is to fly out side Egypt...Really i am thinking deeply about this but still have no specific plan becoz i have some struggles with my family :(
ok, back to the original post, as Dr. Mohamed requested:
how would you handle the challange of moving to a rural area? Sinai, El Wahat, other Governrates that do not offer good basic services like good schools, good work options for you (if you moved with your spouse)?
Personally, I would take over the education part, as Ellhamdollah I am good at many language and would simply offer the knowledge-transfer. privately and on volunteering basis.
as for work, I still believe that one can always find work, if we just think out of the box. living in such areas wouldnt offer a daily dinner at 5* restaurants, but rather more living with nature. and this, i find a good compensation.
Red Sea is a good potential offering both the ability to be with nature (desert, sea, new areas, ma7meyat) and cities like Gouna, Hurghada, and Marsa Allam ... it is fast growing and every year there are new services (Schools, hospitals, cinemas, ...etc) it is 250,000 people now.
The best thing here is that we think out loud with each other...which i like it.
yes it is very big challenge ya Mariam..living in a rural is difficult due to the lack of some of the essential facilities as you mentioned which are vital and important for anybody. I have been living half of my entire life in a rural but at a certain time we decided to migrate to a new city near to our works...and I have experienced that living in a city is more comfortable.
p. s. i am not comparing the new city where i live with Cairo....big difference tab3an..
Personally...I have no problem traveling and living anywhere as I can adapt quickly. the issue is everything has pros and cons and if i decided to do something that is because the pros outweigh the cons. and as soon as something becomes more of a hassles than the benefits and joys it brings to me, i should consider stopping it whether it be lifestyle, work, relationships...
I think Mohay figured it out this way when he decided to plan for his movement from Cairo..
Khalas deal ya Mariam..if i found the desirable place ... i will tell you :)
I don't care anymore about the the social and traditional constrains in our society.
"I'd rather die burnt alive while I am drowning in the middle of the ocean after being electrically shocked THAN dancing in an Egyptian Wedding."
I can't stop laughing u are different ya Dr.Mohamed even in ur description :D
r u ok ??? it seems that u r not .
5elset el 7ekaya ba2a
I am ok of course, but Lubna was just teasing me :)
Names, this is how we all here feel, dear.
Dr. Mohamed, ya Red Sea area sounds good. I would love to live in Marsa Allam. Maybe i should move out there and see where to get a job or start my own business.
ya ret ya Maryam, it is amazing nature there :)
Wallahi i am flexible to move. only the usual NO from Mom. i understand her fear of moving out and living alone. but Cairo is killing me brutally, not even softly :-)
I applied in many positions at hotels in Hurghada and Sharm, but never worked out.
Wish me luck then. very much needed. this is one of the classical moments where i wish i was a man to move out. of course i am going to miss my family, especially with a little moneky (nephew) around. but i really wish i could move out to Marsa Allam. :-)
be grateful you are a man.
ba2or 3alek aho ;-)
I have an idea...we can all migrate to marsa 3alam and establish a project there....something like a7lam 3omrna..I like the actors' ambition awy in this film...what do you think?
Names: I am fully supporting. count me in. i am not good at such project described in the movie, but we can figure something out.
well..let's see others' opinion.
I am already doing that and doing the feasibility study of a Cultural project in Hurghada.
I know that you are always one step ahead us :)
don't forget us ba2a.
I am doing it anyway, ento ely lesa in the dream phase :)
Lol :) maho el dream da howa el first step...it may be become true who knows.
so far the dream is all i have. as said earlier mom doesnt approve of my moving out at all. now with all troubles going on in Sinai and hotels unoccupied, i dont have the slightest hope she would in near future.
but still dreaming :-)
Sinai may not be safe but Red Sea Hurghada Side is.
Get married and go there :)
Married eih bas. Ma7lahs 3eishet elhorreiah :-D
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