Which is most needed Love or Respect ... If you have 2 choices only; would you live with someone who loves you but doesn't respect you enough, or someone who loves you but doesn't love you enough?
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs says: "We believe love best motivates a woman and respect most powerfully motivates a man. Research reveals that during marital conflict a husband most often reacts when feeling disrespected and a wife reacts when feeling unloved. We asked 7,000 people this question: when you are in a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected? 83% of the men said "disrespected." 72% of the women said, "unloved." Though we all need love and respect equally, the felt need differs during conflict, and this difference is as different as pink is from blue!"
I personally if I cant have both as much, then I would choose Respect over love, as love can't stand for feeling disrespected (and that is a relative word from one person to another). If I don't feel respected, I can't even express love and care.
What about you?
Mohaly
14 comments:
I too choose respect over love. My point is that love has various temperature, no one can love you in the same way or degree at all times but with respect you can guarantee the minimum of (not being deliberately disrespected or irreversesably hurt). Another point which is my own theory how can a person respect you without loving you ? I feel respect is higher or more not less than that we define as love....love co-exists with respect n feeling valued for even existing. Disrespected is the point in relationships where love dies n other feelings come along. This is how I see it.
Totally agree with you dear Lubna ... I also choose respect over love when i can't have both equally .
Totally agree with you dear Lubna ... I also choose respect over love when i can't have both equally .
for me i can’t love somebody without respect, but i can respect somebody without love. in a healthy relation respect and love should be attached together but in my opinion i do believe that respect comes first coz when respect goes, everything goes and I think without respect in a relation love is valueless and it means it has no future....if you Think about the relation between old couples and why it seems good and healthy and can last forever you will know that respect is the foundation of their relation then love comes.
well i think we should think of the 2 sides (ME and HIM)can't choose love only or respect only but let me tell you something if YOU give love and respect you will gain love and respect back , you can't ask 4 something you already don't present for me i will choose love and will show respect to gain it back but can't live with only respect or only love :)
Dear Dr. Mohammed, I hope this message would reach you. It is very sad to see the blog suspended, a very sad surprise for me.after erading almost every post and a great number of the comments on these posts, I can tell that something is going on with you. Of course i won't interfere with your decision to suspend your writings, but I just wanted to let you know that it touched some lives and sure opened many fruitful discussions.
dont let go of writing, it is more than just words and it has some impact on some people, alone this is an encouraging fact to continue. dont you think so?
whatever is going on, I am sure you are a fighter and am positive that you will win this battle, one way or another.
hope to soon read a new post with the same old spirit i could clearly witness while reading your words.
i hope everything turns to your favour isA.
if you want, you can discuss what's going on with you here, and let your virtual friends here help you with advise or decision making or support. don't bottle it up, that's the worst you could ever do to yourself, when you have some friends around.
remember, every experience we go through gives us a lifetime lesson that we have to learn from, pass and move on.
I sincerely wish you good luck in your battle
Thank You Maryam... It has been always encouraging me to continue ... but this time .......
It is really the hardest .. I cant even express it :(
I am so messed up.
then share the mess with someone you trust, or a complete stranger. either of them would help you clear the mess. they will see things clearer.
you can share it here, or simply adress someone you trust would care enough to clear yur vision.
just one tip to remember: tear blurr your vision, so take the time to cry as long as you need so you have a clearer vision afterwards.
wish you all the best
معلش نسيت أقول لحضرتك على حاجة كمان. عليك بقراءة سورة يوسف، فان الله أنزلها على رسوله في عام الحزن، ساردا عليه ما حدث لسيدنا يوسف ليسري عنه.
وكمان كتاب لا تحزن للدكتور عائض القرني. فيه كلمات طيبات تحس كأنه يواسيك ويتقرب اليك بهدوء ليمسح عنك الحزن.
ربنا يزيح همك ويريح قلبك ويهديك لكل خير ان شاء الله.
Thank you .. and sorry to be like that.
never be sorry. it's ok. who said you should be a superman. none's expecting this from you, so don't try it. at least not infront of those who care. and you will know who care when you see people checking on you, discussing with you and pushing to know more than your "i'm fine".
it's ok to feel bad and messed up and have a blurred vision. we are no angles and need fellow human's support.
don't try to be strong when you are not. i don't want you to end up committing suicide :-)
there will always be someone around who care. never doubt that. if no human, than always always Allah.
And you can always write to me when you need advise. My friend say i am good at it :-)
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Yes love & disrespect can't live together for Women as well, regardless of the research results, yet disrespectful incidents or events will always remain personal according to ones perception, values & belief system.
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