740) The Manslator !!

My 100th and Last post this year will be about relationships, I am writing it while I am alone in the middle of the desert. I will share with you a video about a great device that if invented in real will really result in real World Peace, at least Domestic World Peace. I'd pay up to $10000 for such device.



Wishing you all a happy new year and more understanding without the need for aiding devices!

Mohaly

Signing Off 2010.

683) The EyeBrow Divorce!

This is about a woman in Saudi Arabia who got divorced because she insisted to trim her eyebrow!

I just can't believe it!!!!!

سعودية تطلب الطلاق بسبب فتوى تحريم (تهذيب الحواجب)

القاهرة - قرر زوجان في المدينة المنورة الانفصال عن بعضهما عقب 3 أعوام من الارتباط، إثر خلاف فقهي نشب بينهما، تمحور حول نتف الحواجب أو ما يعرف ب"النمص".
وذكرت صحيفة "عكاظ" الأحد أن الزوجة تقدمت بطلب طلاق إلى المحكمة، عندما فشلت محاولاتها في إقناع زوجها برأي بعض العلماء، الذين أباحوا "نمص الحواجب"، فيما كان الزوج متمسكا برأي آخر معارض لها.
من جهتها، حولت المحكمة العامة في المدينة المنورة القضية إلى مجلس صلح لتقريب وجهات نظر الزوجين، بيد أن كل طرف تمسك برأيه، ما أدى إلى إنهاء العلاقة الزوجية وحصول الزوجة على صك الطلاق.

672) No Hard Feelings - Episode 4 - Hunters!

Nerro seems frustrated from the fact that quite a considerable number of men do get bored from "what you see is what you get" women...

Actually it is true, the men who act like that are not few. On the personal level I can't tell why because I don't like surprizes even good ones, so what you see is what you get is great for me. So I went on doing some research about it.

Many men -by nature- tend to hunt and win. This kind of men tend to get bored easily when they don't see any challenge if they are not hunting the woman and winning her. Hence, when what they see is what they lose interest and get bored. They want to dig, know, and even surprize the woman.

Some women on the other hand don't leave any room for imagination or creativty coz they are too practical, and many men don't like that as they feel that it is their role to act practically (walahi mafeesh a7san men el set el practical fe nazari; I see that practical women are the best).

What to do in that case?

When you are considering a man of this kind. Try not to reveal everything, give him the info bit by bit, let him discover some himself; fulfil the inner victory that he feels. However, if you reached a point where you feel that you are not yourself anymore, then this is not the right man for you, and believe me he won't even feel or appreciate that in the future.

Just a final word here for all the hunters out there: "The woman who is known only through a man is known wrong." Henry Adams.

Next Sunday: Lao's HOT question "why do men have such a hot and warm emotions before marriage and after marriage he becomes a robot."?

668) No Hard Feelings -Eps.3- Men Buttons!

Back to Engy's query about men and buttons & how may they say something they don't mean or do...!

In my opinion, the problem ya Engy is that many men want to have everything in one women. They do ignore some stuff at the begining (when passion or lust is in the air), then once they feel they have it all, they start looking back for the missing stuff. At this point they may say stuff that they really don't feel or mean; i.e. push the "acting button".

Men have many buttons, the most common are:

"Career Button": Unless you will give support, care, and respect, don't even think to mess with this button.

"Food Button": I don't know why do married men get so interested in food, but this button can be easily controlled with understanding his taste and matching it with your capabilities.

"Sex Button": Handle with care. Men look at sex differently, it is more of a need than a passion. So if you are not pressing the right buttons at the right time, the animal inside him will come out and be un-controllable.

"Hobbies Button": Football or other. This can be controlled by giving him sometime off to do it, and trying to share it with him from time to time (and keep an eye as well ;).

Other buttons depends on the personality of the man and lifestyle. In all cases, note by hard the real priorities of your man, and you set the right strategy to control all the buttons. BUT TAKE CARE, he has to feel that he is the one controlling, even if he really isn't ;)

M.o.h.a.l.y.

Next Sunday: Nerro's question about "what you see is what you get" and its boredom..

663) No Hard Feelings -Eps.2- Friendship II !

Today we continue talking about Friendship between Men and Women focusing on signs and how to deal with it..

According to the classification made in post 659, you should be dealing with signs as follows:

1) Potential Lover (love, girlfriend, wife...etc): The guy will always give signals of wanting more than friendship (e.g. showing how much stuff you have in common, exaggerated interest in stuff that arent usually of his interest, long pointless looks, extra nice words, giving u priority over important stuff, or even treating u with aggression...etc). In such case (& if u r interested), don't give explicit signs of interest unless he gave you explicit signs, and don't say it bluntly unless he does, keep on the safe side. If you are a risk taker, then you can give the signs, but be aware that some men (actually many of them) like to make the 1st move (p.s. i am not one of them, i personally don't care who starts).

2) Wanna Sleep with (sex friend, slut,...etc). That is the easiest.. gestures, words, signs are too obvious. For those who know it, use it.. for el 2otat el meghamada, I wont be ur eye opener here ;)

3) Secrets Keeper and Eye Opener (real friend, mutual benefit, his guide in other sex's world). Usually the guy here is cautious at the begining and he gives conservative signs of interest of being together but within formal framework. Ya3ni, for example, if he likes cultural stuff, he may ask you to join him in a cultural event, and most prob. he will be inviting others too. In the outing, he will always be talking about the event and not about you. When he start feeling that you are categorizing him in the same category, he will open up and talk freely about himself without any confusing signs. May be this will develop into love signs later, but at that time, you will be knowing toooo much about him that u will know 3alatoool.

4) Red Lighter (don’t even think, trouble becomes her!) .. Hmm, this is an easy one like no.2, he will always try to not be present or around for a long time. He will also have very short and formal way of communications. He will never initiate an outing or something that make you come closer. If you are not interested, then you just let it go. If you want to show him that he is exaggerating, you need to take slow and easy, and prove -practically- that you are not the one he thinks you are. But you need to understand him first to know how can you have the right approach.

5) Good to know, without real knowledge of how to be classified now (postponed). This is as I said the most confusing. He will give all signs of interest and disinterest, intimacy and rejection. One day he asks you out, the other day he doesn't answer your communication. One day he get you gifts, the other day he ignores an appointment... He likes part of you but still cant take you as a package. He wants to change you to have the right complete picture in his head. Unless you are willing to change this is a dead-end relationship, give signs of rejection. If both of you are confused - 7aga te2ref- then take it slowly, and one step at a time. Don't think much till there is consistency in the relationship and try to be as transparent and honest as possible. El 7ekaya mesh na2sa tawahan!

So what I wanna say here is that there is no one size fits all. It all depends on the kind of communication you both have and how do you usually deal with the other gender. The above classification and tips are just a guide, but every relation has its own unique challenges as well.

Let me stop again & discuss, before getting into Engy's query in episode 3: Why men seem to have buttons? How come they have the ability to say and do things that they are not really feeling?

Mohaly

659) No Hard Feelings - Eps. 1 - Friendship Part I !

Here we are ... I am starting and have no idea when this series will end, coz till now I have had the plot of 12 episodes in mind, and still more questions coming !! But as I said, I do take it seriously and I hope I can contribute in clearing part of the misunderstanding, but not all of it, coz I think part of the beauty of our relations is these differences and misunderstandings ;)

Friendship .. Why & When?
I will start with the most nagging question, actually the one I have -and still facing- its hell. Is there real friendship between men and women... can men and women just be friends without any hidden agendas? can this friendship last or is it a stage in life....?!!

Actually although the above questions are simple and straight to the point, the answer is VERY complicated...and subjective as well.

Let's start from the beginning of any 2 people knowing each other, what makes them friends?
hmmm. Usually -in my opinion supported by experts opinions- men have this inner classification system where consciously or unconsciously then classify women into:
1) Potential Lover (love, girlfriend, wife...etc)
2) Wanna Sleep with (sex friend, slut,...etc)
3) Secrets Keeper and Eye Opener (real friend, mutual benefit, his guide in other sex's world)
4) Red Lighter (don’t even think, trouble becomes her!)
5) and good to know, without real knowledge of how to be classified now (postponed)

So it all depends on how she is classified from the beginning.
1) Potential Lover: Friendship is a stage to get closer, it either leads to more intimate relation or getting her out of his life. It is very hard to continue as friends here as he will always give you signs of wanting more than being your friend, and it is hard to take it back.
2) Wanna Sleep with :) when I was studying in Los Angeles in the 90s, they used call it "Friends with Benefits" so it is friends afterall .. heheh. I don't think I need to elaborate here, signs are usually blunt from both sides, wala eih ;)
3) Secrets Keeper and Eye Opener: This is the real friendship.. Usually the girl here doesn’t fit the criteria of 1 & 2, and has good mind too, so there is real interest of pure friendship.. however, if this friendship turned out to be love someday, it becomes a very good one coz -in my opinion- love based on friendship is much more durable than love based on feelings only. So signs here are genunie and cant be confused, even if it turned out to be something more, you will be in a stage that you do understand each other without even talking.
4) Red Lighter: He is afraid of getting near hear for one reason or another, so all the signs here will be signs of rejection or over respect, he will be sure not to give any mixed signs. Howa mesh 2adik ;)
5) The good to know has a big share of the mixed feelings, and actually this is the category where the guy himself is confused and can't afford but to give mixed signs, ... it may drive the girl nuts begad!

So what I wanna say is, in order to understand the bigger picture and be able to deal with the signs, you need to figure out how does he think/categorize.. but since this topic is really wide, I will dedicate the next episode for it as well (how to deal the mixed signals), but let's stop here and have some discussion about these stages before going into the 2nd part of "Friendship".

Mohaly

658) FUN ::: 7abbak Bors !

Before we say goodbye to the Valentine's Week, I want to share this with you:

His Banner: Mai, Forgive me please. I sware to God that I love you.

Her Banner: 7abbak Bors !!

Comments please ..

(ya ret law feh explanation kaman in the comments)

Mohaly

656) No Hard Feelings - Series Intro !

It is the Valentine's Week again ... last year I have dedicated a whole week of posts for it, and some of you have written about this coverage in their blogs and online magazines.

This year, allow me to interrupt "The Vision" series with a new series that will go in parallel: "No Hard Feelings". This series is mainly dedicated for the signs that men give women and how to understand it right, the problems that arise from mis-understanding, and false assumptions made by women in reading men... I think that the best time to launch the series is while people celebrating the Love festival; the Valentine's ;)

Women -in general- have their own dictionary about men; unfortunately, this dictionary is always written and developed by women. In order to understand a man, you need to know it from a man not a woman, no matter how much this woman know men. You can consider this series -along with "What Men Want" that I have written in Summer 2008- a quick key to better understanding of men.

Men and Women do a big mistake by insisting on evaluating and interrupting each others actions and words with their own perceptions. This ends up in positioning the relation between them as a racing competition rather than an integration. Such noise created by the competition blocks their vision, and make them fail to realize that in a competition there should be a winner and a loser. However, men and women relations can't afford a loser; and hence, both of them will lose on the long term. We can't just keep competing, WE WILL BOTH LOSE.

So before going into this series' episodes, I want you to list what are the stuff that you need me to cover in this series; hence, I can take it into consideration in the rest of episodes. This is not for female audience only, I need men to tell me as well what they want to make it more clear to women to have better understanding and relations..

P.S. This may open the floor for quarrles, so please accept each other's opinions.

... For all the single ladies reading or following my blog ... Happy Valentine's!

xoxoxo ;)

Mohaly

609) Being Yourself ::: Episode 2 - Part 2 !

This is the 2nd part of last post. Ref: 608

Mohaly

Dear Mohaly,

how far would you -males- go against your society and family and be yourself, when it comes to loving a girl who has "unusual" conditions?
with unusual conditions i mean mainly 2 areas:

2. a girl who has been raped?
would you go against your society and family and marry a girl who has been raped?
out of love and respect and trust - not out of pitty or a heroic temp feeling?
only at a certain phase you would know this truth about her. would you believe her word, or she has to provide some proof?
would you be able to completely forget this fact and start a normal life with such a girl, keeping in mind that she is human, or unconscios influence of society would interfere here?
do you think she has the right to marry somone of her choice, up to her standards and maybe love- or te7med rabena that she finds soemone to marry aslan?
would you be yourself and prefer that she tells before marriage or keeps it hidden through any channel? correct the "mistake" and just keep her mouth shut?
would you be yourself and really work on making it up to her becuase she is just the same girl you know well enough to ask her to share your life? or would tradition interfere and you prefer to stay away and enough that you would keep her secret?

608) Being Yourself ::: Episode 2 - Part 1 !

As I mentioned before Ramadan that I will have "Being Yourself" as a new series in this blog but this time with your contribution as well. The first contribution I got from one of the blog readers who asked me not to reveal the name. It is a direct question addressing blog readers specially men. This message is divided into 2 parts where I am showing 1st part now and 2nd part in another post.

Mohaly

Dear Mohaly,

How far would you -males- go against your society and family and be yourself, when it comes to loving a girl who has "unusual" conditions?
with unusual conditions i mean mainly 2 areas:

1. older than you:
would you accpet it? i am addressing a generation living in 21st century, educated, open minded and already changed many old norms. but this concept is still not accpeted from many and not tolerated from many families.
what is the point?
- its not 7aram (our prophet & Khadija),
- its legal -no law agaisnt it,
- no statistics show that older age of a woman could be one of divorce's reasons.
- no moral objections to the concept.
- no medical objections to the concept. never heard that an older wife could be the reason of an unhealthy child.
why do we still look at it as a strange marriage? why do mothers go agaisnt it and see their sons as "etda7ak 3aleih"?
is it bad? is it wrong?
why do we still look at the girl in such a case as "shatra" because she convinced him of accepting her?
howa is she THAT bad, just because she is older?

would you guys stand for your right of choosing your wife according to your norms and not to your society and family? go agaisnt your mothers and stand to your wife-to-be?
is it hard? unacceptable? bad? wrong?

607) The Certainty about Virginity!

I find the way we handle the issue of virginity in our society a pure sort of hypocrisy and double standards. How come we are entering the 2nd decade of the 21st century, and a vast majority of us are still valuing and classifying women according to z-sometimes only according to- physical virginity?

I am not calling for having an open pre-marital sexual relations (although I still believe that it is totally a personal choice, and something that is hard to judge as it is All mighty God's not us who can judge, and punish- unless publically witnessed by 4 which is practically almost impossible ...etc.).

For the Hypocrisy part, we all know that now it is very easy for any girl to do what she wants and keep her virginity:

1. Either by going through all the steps the last step (you know what I mean).

2. Having an operation.

3. And now the latest Chinese -why am I not surprized- invention below!

So are we fooling ourselves or what?

For the Double Standards, I can't understand how come it is relatively acceptable -sometimes "desirable"- for men to have pre-marital sexual relations while women are always to be blamed and judged! I personally see virginity as an attitude and respect before being a physical test to prove it, whether you are a man or a woman!

Last and not least, why I do I feel that China understands us more than ourselves? They know that the Arab Culture is generally pro being satisfied if everything in public or on paper is fine, even if it is actually not!

Mohaly

القاهرة - قالت تقارير صحفية ان الاسوق السورية استقبلت في الايام الاخيرة "أغشية بكارة صناعية" مستوردة من الصين.

واشار تقرير لوكالة انباء دي برس السورية ان غشاء بكارة الصينى يباع في العاصمة السورية دمشق مقابل 15 دولار.

ونقلت الوكالة نص الإعلان الشائع في شوارع المدن الصينية الذي يقول "استعيدي عذريتك في خمس دقائق ، المنتج التكنولوجي الراقي.. سرك المفزع يختفي للأبد ، استعيدي عذريتك بخمسة عشر دولارا ، بلا جراحة، ولا حقن، ولا أدوية ولا آثار جانبية بخمسة عشر دولارا فقط".

579) 3asr El Hareem !!!

Do you know that we are the 3rd generation since pre-history that doesn't have "gawary" or "melk el yamin". For thousands of years men could legitimately have the right to have relations with women other than his wife. Now all that is over .. Is this good or bad news?!

P.S. lately I have met many people and read more than an article longing to the Hareem Age and feeling bad that they weren't living at that time!

Mohaly

565) El 7okoma wel Gama3a !

For the first impression you may think that this is a political post about the government and el ekhwan, but actually it is about wives!

In short: 

1. Why do a significant number of Egyptian men when they talk about their wives, they say: El 7okoma or El Gama3a? 

2. Why don't they just say Meraty?!!!

Mohaly

back in cairo..

558) The Female Rules When She Rules !!

Although it is fun to read but I stopped at it for a long time, and I told myself that if most of my audience are females, they can help me to know if that is true or not!!

Mohaly

I have got the following on email; FEMALE RULES:

1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 
2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 
3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES. 
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some or all of THE RULES. 
5. The Female is never wrong. 
6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong. 
7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding. 
8. The Female can change her mind at any given time. 
9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female. 
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time. 
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset. 
12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset. 
13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times. 
14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said. 
15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks ackbone, and is a wimp. 
16. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm. 
17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5

545) Watch out for what you give women!!

Since March is recognized as the Women's month (I don't know why by the way), and since 70% of this blog audience are women (I don't know why bardo but glad it is not the opposite), I want to share with you this quote about the importance of what we (men) give women, and what we get in return...

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."  

I think that this is very ture, isn't it?

Mohaly

540) Human Males & Sex !

According to the Kinsey Report (Sexual Behavior in the Human Male), 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43 percent a few times a week or a few times a month, and 4 percent less than once a month.

I was wondering why most of men are always thinking and seeking sex, while most of women don't do that frequently or sometimes even at all !

Mohaly

486) Work or Wife?!

Do men love their Jobs more or their Wives?!

Why?

Mohaly

447) The Seven Areas of Masculinity !

Janet Saltzman Chafetz describes seven areas of masculinity in general culture:

1. Physical : virile, athletic, strong, brave. Unconcerned about appearance and aging.
2. Functional : provider for family, defender of family from physical threat.
3. Sexual : sexually aggressive, experienced. Single status acceptable.
4. Emotional : unemotional, stoic, never crying.
5. Intellectual : logical, intellectual, rational, objective, practical.
6. Interpersonal : leader, dominating; disciplinarian; independent, free, individualistic; demanding.
7. Other Personal Characteristics: success-oriented, ambitious, aggressive, proud, egotistical, moral, trustworthy; decisive, competitive, uninhibited, adventurous.

Hmmm, What do you think?

Mohaly

432) What Women Want; A Male Prespective -Intro!

After the Success of What Men want, and bena2an 3ala talab el gamaheer, I will start the "What Men think Women Want" series this summer.

In this new series I will be talking about what men think women want, and what women actually want. It is a tough series since I am a guy, and since the majority of the blog audience is girls. But anyway, the floor is open for suggestions, comments, and even corrections.

Men -in general- find themselves hardly able to understand what women think and what women want from them. Men think that women a complex subject, and they will take everything from them especially their freedon. It is a tough experience that men have to aquire.
On the contrary, women just hope to receive more attention, love and care from the men regardless their financial and social status. They just want men to praise them, to support their mentality, spiritual and basic needs.

Mohaly

426) Simple Questions for Girls & Guys!

1. For Girls: When would you say yes if someone proposed?
2. For Guys: If a girl loves you, should she propose?

Mohaly