674) No Hard Feelings - Ep.5 - Men Don't Change!

This Episode is tackling LAO's question of Why do men change after marriage..

1) Actually men don't change after marriage. It is your perception that do change.

Before marriage, you don't live together 24 hours a day. You can't see all the sides of the man's personality

During the time you spend together, they present the best side of themselves in front of each other.Before marriage, there is just this physical attraction. You may know your partner significantly well but not good enough to know his dark side, if not his ugliest side.

2) Some men take their wives for granted (he has already won the hunting competition, and you is his khalas). They used their weapons (even sweet ones), then they just let it all out after they have officially become husband and wife.

I have once read an article about what to do right after marriage: "After every wedding comes a marriage. With marriage, couples need to learn another set of soft skills like giving respect and managing expectations to sustain their marriage."

Life after marriage is going to be very different, whether you like it or not.

"Marriage is hard enough without bringing unrealistic expectations into it. People don't change just because they say I do in their marriage vows and their partners shouldn't expect them to."

What I wanna say here is that you should SET your expectations right. Expect that he will do 50% of what he is doing before marriage, if you are fine with that, then go for it, but don't be fool and expect that he is exactly the same person that you have known before. However, life has a good side too, sometimes you realize some good stuff that you haven't seen in him before too. So, if you live each day of your marriage with realistic expectation, there are actually many good things you can look forward each day.

Mohaly

Next Sunday: Off (not sure I will have access in an abroad trip).

Following Sunday: Men hiding in their Caves!

673) The Vision - Episode 8 - Obstacles!

In Episode 7, you should have drawn your path/strategy to reach your goals. Now you have to think deeply about the barriers and obstacles that may come in your way to implement these strategies. These barriers can be internal (being lazy for example) or external (e.g. against family will).

Then have a table of 4 columns as follows:


Be realistic in your approach and take enough time to think.
If you want, please share with us the obstacles and let's discuss how can you overcome it. It is an opportunity to make use of the blog intellectual minds we have here :)

Mohaly

672) No Hard Feelings - Episode 4 - Hunters!

Nerro seems frustrated from the fact that quite a considerable number of men do get bored from "what you see is what you get" women...

Actually it is true, the men who act like that are not few. On the personal level I can't tell why because I don't like surprizes even good ones, so what you see is what you get is great for me. So I went on doing some research about it.

Many men -by nature- tend to hunt and win. This kind of men tend to get bored easily when they don't see any challenge if they are not hunting the woman and winning her. Hence, when what they see is what they lose interest and get bored. They want to dig, know, and even surprize the woman.

Some women on the other hand don't leave any room for imagination or creativty coz they are too practical, and many men don't like that as they feel that it is their role to act practically (walahi mafeesh a7san men el set el practical fe nazari; I see that practical women are the best).

What to do in that case?

When you are considering a man of this kind. Try not to reveal everything, give him the info bit by bit, let him discover some himself; fulfil the inner victory that he feels. However, if you reached a point where you feel that you are not yourself anymore, then this is not the right man for you, and believe me he won't even feel or appreciate that in the future.

Just a final word here for all the hunters out there: "The woman who is known only through a man is known wrong." Henry Adams.

Next Sunday: Lao's HOT question "why do men have such a hot and warm emotions before marriage and after marriage he becomes a robot."?

671) Mother's Day ... The Pure Love !

To all the mothers, let me tell you that you are the most precious gift God have ever granted us. For all those who lost their mothers (or grandmothers) this year, don't turn it into a sad event, celebrate it and remember all the sweet moments, and how did they bring you up to be the man or the woman you are now.

Mama, may God bless you and grant you all the health and happiness.

Grandma, the first mothers' day without her is different, but I still feel her presence and sweet smile.

Noha (sister), Happy mothers' day has a new meaning now with lovely Nour. She adds up a lot of sugar to the challenges of life. May God give you the power and love to raise her up.

May God Bless all the mothers those who are among us, and those who left..

Mohaly

670) Hope is born from Despair !

At a certain moment...

when you feel that you lost everything that you have done and there is no time to do it again...

at this specific moment, hope and creativity are born, and you amaze yourself by how good you can do it again and again and even on the right time..

Don't lose hope, you may not be able to change fate, but you can control your destiny..

Mohaly

experiencing the loss of all the work I did for the last couple of days, and writing this to encourage myself and others who may experience the same...

669) The "Peace Process" ... Save the Killer!

The weird thing in the so called "peace process" is that we sacrificed the mother "Palestine land", the father "Palestine Authority", the baby "Palestine People", and even the doctor "Egypt & Arabs", in order for the killer "Israel" to live!

Mohaly

668) No Hard Feelings -Eps.3- Men Buttons!

Back to Engy's query about men and buttons & how may they say something they don't mean or do...!

In my opinion, the problem ya Engy is that many men want to have everything in one women. They do ignore some stuff at the begining (when passion or lust is in the air), then once they feel they have it all, they start looking back for the missing stuff. At this point they may say stuff that they really don't feel or mean; i.e. push the "acting button".

Men have many buttons, the most common are:

"Career Button": Unless you will give support, care, and respect, don't even think to mess with this button.

"Food Button": I don't know why do married men get so interested in food, but this button can be easily controlled with understanding his taste and matching it with your capabilities.

"Sex Button": Handle with care. Men look at sex differently, it is more of a need than a passion. So if you are not pressing the right buttons at the right time, the animal inside him will come out and be un-controllable.

"Hobbies Button": Football or other. This can be controlled by giving him sometime off to do it, and trying to share it with him from time to time (and keep an eye as well ;).

Other buttons depends on the personality of the man and lifestyle. In all cases, note by hard the real priorities of your man, and you set the right strategy to control all the buttons. BUT TAKE CARE, he has to feel that he is the one controlling, even if he really isn't ;)

M.o.h.a.l.y.

Next Sunday: Nerro's question about "what you see is what you get" and its boredom..

667) The Confusing Man .. RIP !

This man Sheikh Mohamed Tantawy - Allah yer7amo- was really confusing. Sometimes I felt that he represents the moderate view of Islam in a simple way, and some other times I felt that he is just one of the ministers or political figures, and just serving a certain agenda.

Sometimes it is hard to judge people, but time will reveal everything when it is due ...

May Allah Bless his soul, and send us someone who can lead the reputable Azhar to be back as it was .. The Enlightenment of Moderate Muslims.

Mohaly

P.S. A friend of mine asked me a very sneaky question; what if "someone" else died as well suddenly yesterday in his abroad trip? What would have happened?!!

666) El Sheetan Mahzoz!

I don't know why 666 is associated with Satan, but since it is the 666th post, it may be an opportunity to talk about this unique creature.

I personally think that Satan's positioning is extremely exaggerated. We -people- feel better when we have someone to blame and throw all 0ur mistakes and wrong decisions upon him. The beauty is that other people will even listen, agree, and sometimes support and say: "El Sheetan Shater" (Satan is Clever). I actually think that till Judgement Day, "Satan" is lucky (El Sheetan Mahzoz). His job description is soo much matching with his targets, his clients, his working environment, and he can now just score by inertia!

People are weak, and they deny that the real devil is within them, the real devil is their inability to have a serious stop with themselves, admit what they did wrong, ask God & people for forgiveness, and start over. "Satan" is just a CATALYST in a chemical reaction. If you don't put the right ingredients from the beginning, don't blame the catalyst for the results.

I am not defending Satan of course, but I am -again- saying that his role is exaggerated specially with all the knowledge we gain over the millenniums. We should use the power of mind and faith to put him in the real size he deserves.

May God Bless us all from Satan, and from our inner devils.

Mohamed

665) Personal ::: Many Hard Feelings!

I am very sorry for not writing my weekly article in the "No Hard Feelings" series. I am just fed up with the enormous pressure my family (and extended family) is putting on me during the whole of past week on daily and even hourly basis.

I cant feel worse about myself! They are making me feel like being of no benefit or value if I am not maried. "You will regret it", "You will just take what others left", "You will live in Misery"!

Quick Example: I attended my cousin's engagement in the weekend, and every single aunt/woman relative was screwing my head with "see this girl, what about the other girl I told you about, why dont you go out with a third girl since your sister is here,....etc).

They are after me at home, on mobile, events, even on facebook!

I am sorry dear readers, in such mood I will be lying if I said "No Hard Feelings", coz there are many inside me now.

P.S. I promise to continue with episode 3 next week in-shaa-Allah.

Mohaly
S.O.S.

664) The Vision - Episode 7 - How?!

You know now who you are, your uniquenss, what difference you can make, your vision about life and death...

Enough thinking about big stuff, let's move into actions...

What are the strategies that you are setting to achieve your goals and realize your vision?!

in other words, what are the sequenced actions that you are going to take (or is taking) to achieve your goals?

Note that the strategy is your fingerprint, give it some thought..

Think Realistic, Think Big, Think we khalas!!

Mohaly