Sa7 keda! Simply concentrate on your own happiness without any feelings of guilt, regret, pain :S and the world will begin to take on a different meaning for you :)
i'll be so lazy in this comment, because almost all what i want to say is written in a post on my blog, so here is the link: http://ze2red.blogspot.com/2009/09/happiness-to-me-means.html
ma3lesh hat3ebak, meksela akteb :D, plus it will make me happy if you read the post over there... knocking down 2 birds with one stone.
there is nothing easier than being happy.... although being surrounded with loads of things that are more than enough to turn the best mood off, yet there are so many things that are strong enough to shift your mood and make you happy,,,,, your task is just to figure out what makes you happy and keep looking for them all the time Happiness is in the air :)
ok, i don't believe in envy and jealousy, alhamdulilah they do not get to me... however, being happy is not solely one's decision...
for example, i can go out with a good friend to spend some good quality time, i'd be all cheerful and happy because of the company and everything... it only takes a phone call or a comment or the mere ending of that outing for my happiness to fade as if it never existed... and i know that in my core, the one non-changeable choice i would make over and over again is to be happy despite everything... but it doesn't always work, and every one of us is a living proof of that, no?
@ mohaly yes, happiness is a decision we often dont know how to make. your words are well said. i would only add "be happy with what you have, but still allow your dreams to reach to the moon. work to make them come true, but let go if its not meant to be".
@desperate there are things you cant control, including feelings, of course. i am not sure which one you meant, but there is a basic concept, which helps me coping with any negative feelings/experiences life soemtimes throws at me. after going through a 'grieving" period over whatever i think i lost - as any normal human being- i keep telling myself, khalas its not meant to be. whatever you think was good in it, Allah doesnt see the same".you know everything we "get"is rezq and nassib, provided you do your best to live an accpetable life. do your best, go after your dreams, try to make them come true, and leave the end in Allah's hand. he knows better than you.trust him and accpet his judge. wallahi its a great relief from any pain and disappointment. rabena ma3ak :))) and there is always a sis here to share.
Thanks for the kind words , really what I needed to hear :)
We all know that everything is in Allah's hands and He knows what's best for us , but in the end we're humans and we fail to practice what we believe in sometimes...weak creatures.
الرجال الذين لا يعبرون صراحة عن غضبهم أو شعورهم بالاحباط عقب تلقيهم معاملة غير عادلة لهم في مجال العمل معرضون للاصابة بالازمات القلبية أو الوفاة بأمراض القلب ضعف الاشخاص الاخرين الذين ينفسون عن شعورهم إزاء تلك المعاملة الظالمة لهم. واكتشف باحثون في دراسة أجرتها وحدة الابحاث (سترس) أو التوتر في جامعة استكهولم بالسويد أن الشخص الذي يجعل إحساسه بالظلم يفور ويخرج من مكنون ذاته ليظهر على السطح أفضل من كتمه وجعله يغلي في دواخل نفسه مما يؤثر بالسلب على صحته. وشملت الدراسة أكثر من 2700 رجل. وتقول مؤسسة القلب البريطانية حسبما ذكرت صحيفة "تايمز" البريطانية إن الشعور بالتوتر في حد ذاته ليس هو عامل المخاطرة بل هو كيفية رد فعل بعض الناس على الاحساس بالتوتر مثل إقبالهم على التدخين أو الشراهة في تناول الطعام مما يزيد من خطر إصابتهم بالمرض.
@desperate dont think these are just words, wallahi i didnt mean to be lecturing u.i meant it. i've been loosing for the past 6 months, and just few weeks ago i lost the most important project i was working on.100% loss in the most important project i ever wanted to succeed in my whole life. i put there all i could afford,but its all gone. khalas, i am crying over it, know it will take couple of months but then i hv to move with my life. alli can say is elhamdollah, i ve done my best, but its not meant to be. at least i am reliefed bc i tried. i know that it will not last forever, things change.call it hope, call it faith, i dont know. but i know that at a certain point there will be only the way up the curve. change that name and with it the feeling. make ur start like mine keda: elhamdollah 3ala elsatr we else7ah :))))))))))))))))
and dont think i am strong. wala strong wala nilah, we all have our weakness points. but at least you are not alone :))) choclate gives a temp feeling of relief. try a cube every 2 hours :))) ay khedma
glad you changed your name, and i'm so sorry for your loss. But let me tell you something, time heals wounds, i've been in your shoes before, and learned how to cherish the memories and make prayers replace my grief. It feels so good because you always know that you are doing good for you far gone loved ones.
Take all the time you need, but take care not to lose your life and self in the process.
@Trust in Allah i like this one more. thx for changing it.
death is a way of loosing soemone bardo.cant say which one is less painfull, but its a loss anyway.
human life and feelings are complicated, bc they have different aspects. we all have our mistakes and weaknesses. you are not alone.
never ever ever think that you or any one else doesnt deserve Allah's mercy. none is entitled to judge this but Allah himself. and He never told us how He judges people, BUT he said that as long as one is alive, he has the chance for tawbah.and the ONLY condition for him to accept the tawbah is the true and sincere "niyah" if you think about it, its all between allah and the person, NONE can "measure" this neyah or tawbah. again to prove its all in Allah's hand.so please let go of this bitter guilt.
now the second part of what ur saying: for whatever reason you think u dont deserve Allah's mercy. you think you did a fatal mistake or somehow hurt that person you lost. i dont know which religion you have, but i will tell you the muslim side, and most probably it will be applicable for christians as well. its one god afterall. again allah has given us an endless chance to be of real benefit for our dead beloved ones. duaa and sadaqah garyah. think about it this way: now this person is desperate for 7asanat - as all of us will be one day- and doesnt have the chnace to do any. you are alive, you can give this. ya3ni you will be doing him/her a great thing. got the point?
i join ze2red in her advise, grief over that loss and cry for as long as u need, but dont loose yourself in the procedure.
Mohamed (PBUH) has taught us how to grieve over loss of wife, children, parents. he is our leader and quoda. i have learned to repeat his words: اللهم اجرني في مصيبتي و اخلفني خيرا منها
ان القلب ليحزن، و العين لتدمع و لا نقول الا ما يرضي ربنا. انا لله و انا اليه راجعون. you are not alone in this, everyone of us has lost soemone close and dear to him/her to death. the good news is its not a loss. its just a temp "leaving" untill we meet them in jannah ISA.
now you know this person needs ur duaa and support, dont let him/her down. sa7? :)))
Please dont isolate yourself from ppl. stay here. follow the blog and interact with us. we might be able to support. just keep that beautiful name :))
@ HAW: you have said it all in a very good way, i wouldn't have said it better myself.
btw , i replied to your comment over my blog, and i didn't hear from you, I'm SAD :(... w qalby yatkata3 :D
@ Trust in Allah: this might sound bad, and i'm sorry in advance if i'll offend you in any way, but i really really envy your baby. You are absolutely right, angels on earth go to heaven, and lucky this baby won't have to pass what we adults will have to go through on judgment day. Get over your grief as soon as u can, your baby is in heaven and you will join him/her in shaa' Allah, and be blesses with all the happiness you wished to have here in this mortal life, and MORE.
@ trust in allah i know that your loss is uncompareable to anyother. sorry wouldnt mean anything here. but all i can do, and hope it helps is praying for you. اسأل لله سبحانه و تعالى أن يربط على قلبك و يلهمك الصبر و القوة و أن يشفع فيك أبنك و ان تقر عينك بنعمة ربك عليك في الدنيا الى أن تلتقيا في الجنة ان شاء الله. i am glad we could do soemthing and you feel better. please let us know ur news whenever possible.
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Happiness is your decision ... 
Sa7 keda! Simply concentrate on your own happiness without any feelings of guilt, regret, pain :S and the world will begin to take on a different meaning for you :)
ReplyDeletei'll be so lazy in this comment, because almost all what i want to say is written in a post on my blog, so here is the link: http://ze2red.blogspot.com/2009/09/happiness-to-me-means.html
ReplyDeletema3lesh hat3ebak, meksela akteb :D, plus it will make me happy if you read the post over there... knocking down 2 birds with one stone.
there is nothing easier than being happy.... although being surrounded with loads of things that are more than enough to turn the best mood off, yet there are so many things that are strong enough to shift your mood and make you happy,,,,, your task is just to figure out what makes you happy and keep looking for them all the time
ReplyDeleteHappiness is in the air :)
PS: I just love the smile faces picture
i can't agree to the entire phrase...
ReplyDeletei am trying to find the energy to argue...
*deep breath*
ok, i don't believe in envy and jealousy, alhamdulilah they do not get to me... however, being happy is not solely one's decision...
for example, i can go out with a good friend to spend some good quality time, i'd be all cheerful and happy because of the company and everything... it only takes a phone call or a comment or the mere ending of that outing for my happiness to fade as if it never existed... and i know that in my core, the one non-changeable choice i would make over and over again is to be happy despite everything... but it doesn't always work, and every one of us is a living proof of that, no?
insomniac,then you decided to make this comment or thing make u unhappy
ReplyDeleteu decided to be unhappy,
Well said ya Mohaly . . . :)
ReplyDeleteThanks :)
ReplyDeleteALLAN K. CHALMERS said:
ReplyDeleteThe Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
Complete:
ReplyDeleteHappiness is a . . . !
( state - decision - target )
R.'Eltayeb: didn't you miss a choice... all of the above maslan :)?
ReplyDeleteBravo Ze2red Hanem :) C'est la bonne réponse - 3 in 1!
ReplyDeleteBe Yourself. Be Realistic. Be Optimistic . Be Happy!
what about the feelings you can't control (you can't control feelings can distract maybe) and they haunt you each time you try to be positive?
ReplyDelete@ mohaly
ReplyDeleteyes, happiness is a decision we often dont know how to make.
your words are well said. i would only add "be happy with what you have, but still allow your dreams to reach to the moon. work to make them come true, but let go if its not meant to be".
@desperate
ReplyDeletethere are things you cant control, including feelings, of course.
i am not sure which one you meant, but there is a basic concept, which helps me coping with any negative feelings/experiences life soemtimes throws at me.
after going through a 'grieving" period over whatever i think i lost - as any normal human being- i keep telling myself, khalas its not meant to be. whatever you think was good in it, Allah doesnt see the same".you know everything we "get"is rezq and nassib, provided you do your best to live an accpetable life.
do your best, go after your dreams, try to make them come true, and leave the end in Allah's hand. he knows better than you.trust him and accpet his judge.
wallahi its a great relief from any pain and disappointment.
rabena ma3ak :))) and there is always a sis here to share.
@R
ReplyDeletethx for practicing french. i missed it.
sorry i was lazy to reply to your mail, just did.
your turn ya fandem :)))))
@H.A.W.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words , really what I needed to hear :)
We all know that everything is in Allah's hands and He knows what's best for us , but in the end we're humans and we fail to practice what we believe in sometimes...weak creatures.
الرجال الذين لا يعبرون صراحة عن غضبهم أو شعورهم بالاحباط عقب تلقيهم معاملة غير عادلة لهم في مجال العمل معرضون للاصابة بالازمات القلبية أو الوفاة بأمراض القلب ضعف الاشخاص الاخرين الذين ينفسون عن شعورهم إزاء تلك المعاملة الظالمة لهم.
ReplyDeleteواكتشف باحثون في دراسة أجرتها وحدة الابحاث (سترس) أو التوتر في جامعة استكهولم بالسويد أن الشخص الذي يجعل إحساسه بالظلم يفور ويخرج من مكنون ذاته ليظهر على السطح أفضل من كتمه وجعله يغلي في دواخل نفسه مما يؤثر بالسلب على صحته.
وشملت الدراسة أكثر من 2700 رجل.
وتقول مؤسسة القلب البريطانية حسبما ذكرت صحيفة "تايمز" البريطانية إن الشعور بالتوتر في حد ذاته ليس هو عامل المخاطرة بل هو كيفية رد فعل بعض الناس على الاحساس بالتوتر مثل إقبالهم على التدخين أو الشراهة في تناول الطعام مما يزيد من خطر إصابتهم بالمرض.
@desperate
ReplyDeletedont think these are just words, wallahi i didnt mean to be lecturing u.i meant it. i've been loosing for the past 6 months, and just few weeks ago i lost the most important project i was working on.100% loss in the most important project i ever wanted to succeed in my whole life. i put there all i could afford,but its all gone.
khalas, i am crying over it, know it will take couple of months but then i hv to move with my life.
alli can say is elhamdollah, i ve done my best, but its not meant to be. at least i am reliefed bc i tried.
i know that it will not last forever, things change.call it hope, call it faith, i dont know. but i know that at a certain point there will be only the way up the curve.
change that name and with it the feeling. make ur start like mine keda: elhamdollah 3ala elsatr we else7ah :))))))))))))))))
and dont think i am strong. wala strong wala nilah, we all have our weakness points.
ReplyDeletebut at least you are not alone :)))
choclate gives a temp feeling of relief.
try a cube every 2 hours :)))
ay khedma
@H.A.W.
ReplyDeleteit's desperate :)
I changed the name cause I realized that it's kaba2er to lose faith in Allah's mercy..it's just that sometimes you feel you don't deserve such mercy.
The situation is a bit complicated as it's related to the loss of closed person , and by loss I mean death...so I am waiting and hoping for the best.
you're such a beautiful person, thanks again.
@ Trust in Allah:
ReplyDeleteglad you changed your name, and i'm so sorry for your loss. But let me tell you something, time heals wounds, i've been in your shoes before, and learned how to cherish the memories and make prayers replace my grief. It feels so good because you always know that you are doing good for you far gone loved ones.
Take all the time you need, but take care not to lose your life and self in the process.
@Trust in Allah
ReplyDeletei like this one more. thx for changing it.
death is a way of loosing soemone bardo.cant say which one is less painfull, but its a loss anyway.
human life and feelings are complicated, bc they have different aspects. we all have our mistakes and weaknesses. you are not alone.
never ever ever think that you or any one else doesnt deserve Allah's mercy. none is entitled to judge this but Allah himself. and He never told us how He judges people,
BUT
he said that as long as one is alive, he has the chance for tawbah.and the ONLY condition for him to accept the tawbah is the true and sincere "niyah"
if you think about it, its all between allah and the person, NONE can "measure" this neyah or tawbah. again to prove its all in Allah's hand.so please let go of this bitter guilt.
now the second part of what ur saying: for whatever reason you think u dont deserve Allah's mercy. you think you did a fatal mistake or somehow hurt that person you lost.
i dont know which religion you have, but i will tell you the muslim side, and most probably it will be applicable for christians as well. its one god afterall.
again allah has given us an endless chance to be of real benefit for our dead beloved ones.
duaa and sadaqah garyah.
think about it this way: now this person is desperate for 7asanat - as all of us will be one day- and doesnt have the chnace to do any.
you are alive, you can give this. ya3ni you will be doing him/her a great thing.
got the point?
i join ze2red in her advise, grief over that loss and cry for as long as u need, but dont loose yourself in the procedure.
Mohamed (PBUH) has taught us how to grieve over loss of wife, children, parents. he is our leader and quoda. i have learned to repeat his words:
اللهم اجرني في مصيبتي و اخلفني خيرا منها
ان القلب ليحزن، و العين لتدمع و لا نقول الا ما يرضي ربنا. انا لله و انا اليه راجعون.
you are not alone in this, everyone of us has lost soemone close and dear to him/her to death.
the good news is its not a loss. its just a temp "leaving" untill we meet them in jannah ISA.
now you know this person needs ur duaa and support, dont let him/her down. sa7? :)))
Please dont isolate yourself from ppl. stay here. follow the blog and interact with us. we might be able to support.
just keep that beautiful name :))
@ trust in Allah
ReplyDeletei am happy you decided to open up. :)))
Ze2red & H.A.W.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the support , it really helps me feel better and to cope . It feels good to know am not alone.
BTW I am muslim al7mdollah.
Time is my healer now , and I know life doesn't stop moving for someone .Faith makes it bearable.
I ask Allah to grant me patience and strength..am not worried about that person cause I know angels who live on earth go to heaven.
The person is my baby.
@ HAW: you have said it all in a very good way, i wouldn't have said it better myself.
ReplyDeletebtw , i replied to your comment over my blog, and i didn't hear from you, I'm SAD :(... w qalby yatkata3 :D
@ Trust in Allah: this might sound bad, and i'm sorry in advance if i'll offend you in any way, but i really really envy your baby. You are absolutely right, angels on earth go to heaven, and lucky this baby won't have to pass what we adults will have to go through on judgment day. Get over your grief as soon as u can, your baby is in heaven and you will join him/her in shaa' Allah, and be blesses with all the happiness you wished to have here in this mortal life, and MORE.
@ trust in allah
ReplyDeletei know that your loss is uncompareable to anyother. sorry wouldnt mean anything here.
but all i can do, and hope it helps is praying for you.
اسأل لله سبحانه و تعالى أن يربط على قلبك و يلهمك الصبر و القوة و أن يشفع فيك أبنك و ان تقر عينك بنعمة ربك عليك في الدنيا الى أن تلتقيا في الجنة ان شاء الله.
i am glad we could do soemthing and you feel better.
please let us know ur news whenever possible.
It's all about what we decide to do and what we do not!
ReplyDelete