Friday, March 2, 2007

Management in the 21st Century :))

Any resemblance between the comments in blue and real characters or organizations is a mere coincidence :)


1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THEN THE EMPLOYEES

These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.

2) MANAGING BY POST-IT'S
Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking. And never doing them

3) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY
These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He is good, He knows what she must do.

4) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING
These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.

5) MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING
These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will always have something to talk about.

6) MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION (do you know any company who does that! :)
Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of simulants from category 5!

7) MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS

In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.

8) MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS
If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore. (Why does it always start with a K)

9) MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM
This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.

10) MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS
This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.

11) MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE
In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.

12) BUA MANAGEMENT ( BY USING ABBREVIATIONS )This management style is ATRASACWOC. ( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication ) (hehe what about PMS)

13) MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS
These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms.
What is wrong with monetized capitalizing of productization!!

14) MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION
If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.

15) MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES
If you remind them to one of their promisses, the priority of that promise is to low to remember. (Multiple choice...choose only one: A. bonus, B. raise, C.promotion, D. None of the above)

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